English jokes about face

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You have money, so why should I respect you?

I give you a quarter of my money. Can you respect me?

You only gave me a quarter. Why should I respect you? "

" What if I give you half?

in that case, my money is as much as yours, so why should I respect you?

I'll give you all my money. Can you respect me? "

" what words! At that time, I had money, but you didn't. How can I respect you? "

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. The boss replied gruffly: "I just said it, didn't you understand?" Now sit down and write down every word

!

an hour later, the letter was typed, which read as follows:

"Manager Wang:

Damn, this guy's handwriting is so ugly! I don't know. Ask the secretary to type!

I learned by letter. The parts you want to buy, hello, Xiao Li, how much are the parts that Shengsheng Automobile Factory wants

? Oh! Two thousand yuan? Ok, according to the accounting department of our company, it's two thousand five hundred yuan only, huh! This extra 5 yuan is a punishment for his untidy handwriting. I hope to

receive your order soon.

ok, you can get up. you are really not ordinary, and my legs are numb! "

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. I want to leave. I want to live a life of excitement, drinking and drinking and having a beautiful sister every day. Dad, you can't stop me under any circumstances.

Hearing this, Dad hurriedly said, "Who will stop you? I'll prepare my luggage and go with you at once.". "

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. Sir, but only you are standing on the springboard .....................................................................................................................................................................

Doctor B said, "That's nothing. I joined a leg for a man, and now he is a world long-distance runner.".

Doctor C said, "All this is nothing. I helped a fool smile.

Now he is the executive director of a certain country. "

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.

Americans say that it must be Clinton when they see the fat man in the mask.

It turns out to be Jelchin, so Americans are punished like the Japanese.

It's finally Taiwan Province's turn, only to see Taiwan Province people confidently say, "You don't have to turn around".

God asked him why in surprise, and Taiwan Province people proudly said,

"As long as we talk nonsense, it must be our president! ! "

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There is one.

His wife sat up and said, What did you say?

The drunk said: I went to the toilet when I came back just now. As soon as I opened the door, the light came on.

His wife said: Really?

He nodded vigorously and said, It's true!

his wife thought for a moment and said, do you still feel the evil wind blowing out?

He quickly said, Yes! how do you know

His wife slapped him hard and said,

You damn fool! This is the third time you've been drunk and peed in the refrigerator!

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a certain country.

Employee: "It's not bad ... but some people often complain that the stickers are not firm ..."

President: "How come?

After that, the President grabbed a stamp, spat

water on the back, and stuck it on a piece of paper ...

The President: "Don't you think it's stuck firmly?" !

employee: "but ... everyone ... everyone ... spits on the front ..."

-----------. The shoe box under the bed,

can't be opened to see Xiao Ming's request, so five years passed in a hurry.

Xiao Ming kept his promise and never called to see the shoe box.

One day Xiaohua was not at home, Xiao Ming couldn't help but open the box and found three eggs,

and 12 yuan. Xiao Ming didn't understand why he put eggs and money in it, so he became mysterious.

When Xiaohua came back, Xiaoming admitted to peeking at the shoe box.

Xiaohua said: Now that you have looked at the shoe box, I will tell you frankly.

Every time I have an affair, I put an egg.

Xiaoming thought that after five years of marriage, he would only have an affair twice. Forget it, it's you. Then why did you put money in it?

Xiaohua: whenever I collect a dozen eggs,

I'll exchange it for money ...................................................... < Getting married later is bigotry.

Not getting married is annoying to women.

Getting married and having a boyfriend is-stunner

Getting married and having a girlfriend and getting divorced is-damn

- Wang Wu went to a shoe store to buy shoes

three pairs of shoes * * * 3 yuan

The boss told the gang to refund 5 yuan to the three people because of three pairs at a time

On the way, the gang felt that 5 yuan was not good for the three people, so they took out 2 yuan

One person paid back 1 yuan

So for the three people, a pair of leather shoes was 2 yuan * of 9 yuan

9 * 3+gang skills. 29 yuan

still has ten dollars to go there

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Women in their thirties are like blue balls, and 1 people are running after them.

women in their forties are like table tennis, and two people call each other.

Women in their fifties are like golf. The farther they play, the better.

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The plane takes off. He

said to the co-pilot, "I'm going to take a shit first, and then I'm going to fuck the new stewardess."

When the stewardess heard this, she hurried across the aisle to tell him that she forgot to turn off the microphone.

But when she left, she accidentally squatted down on the aisle, and an old lady next to her bowed her head and said, "Don't worry, honey, he said he had to take a shit first."

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There are two. I felt queasy for a while, and then I spit out

food. In an instant, I saw

Beggar B ate the vomit like a fly.

Beggar A asked doubtfully why you didn't eat it just after asking you to eat it, and now you eat it?

Beggar B replied: Because it is cold, I prefer hot food! !

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Clean.

After a while, he suddenly saw a waiter coming with his order.

He even put his thumb in the dish.

he felt sick at once, and he managed not to have an attack.

Later, the same waiter actually put his hand in the dish when he brought it.

finally, he finished his meal. He decided to report the waiter to the manager.

Of course, the manager felt that it was unsanitary and flew into a rage.

So he called the waiter to ask.

However, the waiter explained, "Sorry, I hurt my thumb.

The doctor said to keep warm at all times, so I did it like this. But this

neat man was still very unhappy, so he said to him,

Don't stick your hand in your ass to keep warm! Speaking of which, the waiter replied in a hurry, "Yes, I just put my hand in my ass when I didn't serve food. "

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. ! "Father camel said.

"Then why do we have long eyelashes?"

"Because the desert is windy and dusty, it can protect our eyes! !

"Then why do we need meat pads on the soles of our feet? "The little camel asked again.

"It's easier to cross the desert like this! ! "Father Camel said proudly!

Finally, the little camel asked, "That. . . . Then why are we in the zoo now?

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The boss smiled and replied:No.

The next day, the rabbit jumped in and asked

Rabbit: Boss, did you sell carrots?

Boss: No! ! ! On the third day

the rabbit jumped in and asked if there were any carrots.

boss: we didn't sell it! !

if you come in and ask me again, I'll cut off your ears! !

On the fourth day, the rabbit jumped in and asked the rabbit, Boss, do you sell scissors?

boss: no!

Rabbit: Do you sell carrots?

Boss:! @ # $%------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I casually rolled up your magazine and

gave him a good beating. Let's see if he dares to make trouble

--------------------< ... furniture ... everything is

Abeinstein on the third floor has a bad habit of urinating on the balcony ...

jane on the fourth floor loves sports and plays with a big knife on the balcony every time ...

One day ...

jane on the fourth floor accidentally loosened her hand while playing with a big knife ...

The knife fell off ...

Ah ...

...

mozart on the second floor picked it up and painted it green ...

People on the first floor saw it and thought it was a cucumber, so they ate it ...

Ah, ah ...------------.