Seek a summary of the classic quotations of the national football team!

Official comment: 1, Bai. Today, China won four more gold medals, full of joy and smiles. In order not to affect people's mood of watching the Olympic Games, the China Men's Olympic Team decided to quit soon ... Meanwhile, I believe no one wants to say goodbye to them! 2. Lu Jian, the bottom line of our national football competition is not ashamed to ask questions, but they have already broken through this bottom line! 3. Sha Tong Next, let's watch a strange game-China men's football team. 4. Shang Ruihua Our two strikers performed very well in three games. I even joked with them that after playing today, I can lend it to the men's football team to continue playing tomorrow. 5. What can a woman football player say? Can't praise them for playing well? 6. In the 2002 World Cup between Yan Shiduo and Xie Yalong, China swallowed nine eggs. Yan Shiduo said: You have won the respect of people all over the world. At the 2008 Olympic Games, China said to Belgium and Xie Yalong: I see the hope of China football in you. Folk comments: (the master is in the folk! ! ! ) 1, a, The goal of the China Men's Football Team tonight is to leave Brazil in Beijing and participate in the upcoming Paralympic Games in Beijing. B, Zheng Zhi's biggest role is to kick his opponent into Zheng Zhihua on the court. C. I was in a good mood last night because the national football team lost heartily! 2, Lian A, Hua 'an and the master: one draw and two losses, three unbeaten games, four stops, five injuries and six wastes. How dare you mention the very bold Hua 'an in July 8th? Ten shots and nine deviations make up eight connections, seven breaks, six stops, five losses, four noble hearts and two minds. First-class dirty master: rude, rude, rude, flat, lost to Huaan: careless, mediocre, lost every year, lost, lost, master: running in the stadium, shooting is not allowed, foreigners should be careful before kicking the crotch. B, Li Yu. Yu Meiren Part I: How worried the China men's soccer team is Part II: Just like a group of eunuchs go to brothels, no one will shoot their companions Part I: Ask China how worried the men's soccer team is, just like a group of prostitutes guarding brothels, who are always killed. Famous aphorism 1. Cherish life, stay away from the national football 2. Smoking is harmful to health. Watching the national football is harmful to life. 3. watch the premier league ask for money to watch the national football die. 4. Proper use of digital TV can effectively prevent national football. If the national football team is not sick, it is really terrible to play the national football team. 6. If China can score, I will turn myself in! -If Osama bin Laden and China score goals, I will stop nuclear weapons! -If Ahmadinejad and China can score goals, I will reform and open up! -If Kim Jong Il and China can score goals, I will tear down the Yasukuni Shrine! -Junichiro Koizumi If China can score a goal, I will call michel platini! -If China can score, I will believe in Buddhism! -God If China can score goals, I will believe in God! -If Sakyamuni's China team can score, I will return! If A-Bian China scores, I will be revived immediately. If Arafat China scores, we will resign! -China Football Association finally said, if China can score, I will do the opposite! -the earth said China was right. If I can score, I will come out of the west! The Sun said that China was right. If I can score, I will be the maid of honor for the cat! -The mouse said China was right. If I can score, I will explode again! -the universe finally said 7. The angry youth said: China football is the football of China people. Are you from China? It is traitors who are unpatriotic. The elite said: Only China football is qualified to represent the dark side of society. Wu Mao said: It is obvious that foreign players beat our players' feet with testicles. The soy sauce party said: We admit that the national football team is darker than soy sauce, and soy sauce has absolutely no rancid smell of the national football team. According to industry sources, China Men's Football Team is a commando of Chinese urban management. 4. The status quo of Dingdang's national football team: the age is basically fictional, the appearance is basically ugly, the brain is basically rusty, the attack is basically based on walking, the passing is basically based on watching, the stopping is basically based on hands, the passing is basically based on shouting, the defense is basically based on hugging, and the shooting is basically absent. The goalkeeper is scared to tremble, and the goalkeeper has basically no hands and the loss is basically worrying, just like a group of mad dogs. 5. A laundry list of jokes A. Watching porn at night, I am alone at home, closing the door, closing the window and closing the curtains. I turned on the TV and tuned to CCTV-5 to watch the China men's football team. I only watched it for five minutes. At this moment, I suddenly found the sound of opening the door. I was surprised and immediately got up and turned off the TV. At this moment, my friend came in. Seeing my embarrassment, I said, Wow, are you watching porn? I quickly refused. He turned on the TV and saw the men's football team playing. He said, huh? Are you watching the China football team? My face turned red in an instant and I immediately said, no, no, I'm watching porn! ! ! ! ! B, national team A: I heard that your brother plays for the national team? B: Your brother just played for the national team! Your whole family is playing for the national team. C, God A, and the embarrassing God. In 20xx, an old man was dying and said to his grandson with trembling lips, "Children ... wait ... for China football ... to qualify for the World Cup, you must ... write ... in writing ... and burn it to me. I am also happy below. " The child said, "Don't worry, Grandpa, I will try my best to live to that day." Grandpa closed his eyes with satisfaction after listening to his grandson. In 2 1xx, an old man who was dying knelt in front of his grave and burst into tears: "grandson, I have been waiting for the World Cup for so many years, and I am ashamed of my ancestors!" Say that finish, anger toward, the whole body quiver two quiver will not move. Those eyes are still wide open and die unsatisfied! ! Grandson died and went to heaven. One day, he met God, and God said, I can grant you a wish. He said, "Can you sink the island of Japan?" God said: this is too difficult, change it. Sun Tzu added: Then I want China to qualify for the World Cup. God wiped the sweat from his head and asked, "What's your last wish?" Bring me the globe. B. Cry God. Koreans ask God when they will win the World Cup. God said that 50 years later, Koreans shook their heads and said that they would never see it again. The Japanese asked God when they would win the World Cup. God said, 65,438+000 years later, the Japanese shook their heads and said, not in the next life. China asked God when they would win the World Cup. God cried. . . Before the family recognized the body, the police took off the national football vest in order to safeguard the last dignity of the deceased. E. The captain of the torture team asked the police officer, "Did the prisoner confess?" The policeman said, "No, the prisoner has a hard mouth." The captain said, "Did you show Princess Pearl to the prisoner?" The police officer said, "Yes, even the meteor garden. The prisoner did not confess. " The captain said, "Did you show the prisoner the articles written by beautiful writers?" The police officer said, "I saw it, too. The prisoner vomited and still refused to confess. " The captain was annoyed: "Then show the prisoner what Xiaozi wrote." The policeman said, "Brother, I showed it to the prisoner, too. The prisoner fainted three times, but they all survived. " The captain was furious: "Then show CCTV's Heroes of the Condor and the legendary swordsman to the prisoners! There is a TV on the left and a TV on the right. " Police officer: "Big Brother, this is, this is a bit harsh." Captain: "No way, tough guys have to fight hard." After a day, the captain asked again, "What happened? Have you confessed? " The police officer said, "The prisoner was incontinent, but he didn't move." The captain growled, "Play China football." Policeman: "Brother, people will die. Do you want to change another one? " Captain: "Either the prisoner dies or I die." After a day, the captain asked again; "Well, did you confess?" The police officer said, "The prisoner bit his tongue and died ..." 6. The media reported that a. The national football team washed their feet by the river in "Into Science", and the creatures in the river would die, the downstream residents would get strange diseases, and the coastal plants would constantly mutate. Is it pesticide residue or biochemical attack? Please pay attention to the special programs that will be broadcast on "Into Science" tonight: B "National Football Washing Feet by the River", British Sun You Daily (Today's Daily) 1 1 News: In the Beijing Olympic Games, the players felt very wronged and expressed the hope that FIFA would change the rules and equate the number of red cards with the number of goals scored. FIFA has not decided whether to apply for this. A FIFA official who asked not to be named said: China's application was very successful. Ronaldo, a former world footballer who is vacationing in Brazil, was shocked to learn that the Belgian player was kicked in the testicles by a China player, and the fat on his stomach shook unconsciously. C Ronaldo told reporters: "I can feel the feeling of injury. I have been troubled by a knee injury for a long time, but I think I am lucky. In the group match against China in 2002, because I didn't score too many goals, I was still able to pick up girls and have a threesome. Before that game, many players said to me, Ronnie, if you want to win the Golden Boot in the World Cup, the game against China is the key. But I didn't listen to their advice, because before that, China's "Sir Shovel" Zheng Zhi broke Cisse's leg. I didn't want to suffer such a disaster, so I wisely chose to score only one goal. Now it seems that my decision is correct. " Cristiano Ronaldo, the world's top star who currently plays for Manchester United, also accepted an interview with Sun You after the game in China. Facing the reporter, he revealed for the first time the reason why he refused the invitation of Real Madrid and insisted on staying at Manchester United. "You know, no one wants to lose their testicles," Ronaldo said with a worried expression. "I'm only 23 years old, and my future is still very great. At least I don't want to be a disabled person. Why did I stay at Manchester United? Thanks to Sir Alex Ferguson, he said to me,' Chris, if you insist on moving to Real Madrid, I will send you to play in the Super League instead of hanging you in the stands like I said before.' To tell you the truth, I'm really afraid of jazz. You know, Jazz is a man of his word, and no one can change his decision. "Ronaldinho, who is attending the Olympic Games in China, has been a little depressed recently. He felt desperate at the thought that 13 would face China. He complained to the reporter: "I don't know what to do. I just want to do something for my motherland, so that the Brazilian Olympic team can win the Olympic gold medal for the first time. "But I don't know what to do if the price is to fall to China's China Kong Fu. I hope the coach won't send me on the day of the game. I have deep feelings for testicles, and I don't want to be elbowed by Zheng Zhi to break my front teeth. They are all symbols of my fame. I am negotiating with the coach these days, but the current situation is not optimistic. " It is reported that UEFA is considering making a new regulation to allow players to wear iron crotch as armor in competitions. UEFA President Platini said: "We believe that with the development of modern football, the appearance of iron crotch is inevitable, especially when facing China." However, FIFA did not respond to this matter. It is unconfirmed that FIFA is considering whether to put pressure on the China Football Association to dissolve the men's soccer team in China, so that the worldwide "soccer phobia in China" can be solved once and for all. 7. advertising. After the sexy advertising slogan Ali Korea lost, "Viagra" found a national team player to advertise: the player held the football in his left hand and pointed at the screen with his right hand and said, "Who can not shoot for more than 90 minutes, I can!" The condom manufacturer was deeply inspired by the advertisement of Viagra, so he found a group of players from the national team and made an advertisement: all players blew up the goal, and the slogan was: "No matter how many times you shoot, you can't shoot!" Manufacturers of birth control pills also want to advertise, but birth control pills are mainly aimed at women. What should I do? ! Or the China Football Association has a way: let the red whistle of the Super League wear black, blow the whistle, wave, and proudly say, "It doesn't matter how much you enter!" 8. Poetry. A poem dedicated by Pear Flower style to the National Football Olympics-Zhao Lihua's legendary China Man Zu 1 10 drew New Zealand tenaciously, and then lost to Belgium with 1 10/0 at the disadvantage of nine people. Although our national football team is a team that has been defeated repeatedly, it has no skills, passion, cooperation and physical strength. We will still watch them beat people in regret, disappointment and complaint. 9. Song Xianran A, the original song of China Kung Fu: Tu Honggang is also very relaxed when playing football, with his hands akimbo. We have magical power: southern boxing and northern leg. Zheng Zhi and Wang Song, two masters, rushed to the Olympic Games to show their magic (rap), elbowed with the corner of their eyes, and swept people with their legs like swallows in the clouds. It's just that we can't see how thick-skinned we are outside and how stupid we are to protect the ball like Henry. We have a great rap in our hearts, and we can see whether China's kung fu is deep or not by holding it with our elbows. We can't raise Xie Yalong, the head of shaolin soccer's soul, without fake balls and black whistle. Many British bears under our command have been honed by martial arts for many years, and the Olympic Games have shown magical power! China Men's Football Edition "Song of Hao Han" advances the national football team. Wow, the hearts of fans all over the world are shaking (hey hey, the hearts are shaking, and every game stinks). Say go and go, you can kick and hug (hey hey, you can hug, too). You won't score for 90 minutes. ) You are inferior to others. Wow, when it's time to reach out your elbow, you reach out your elbow. Wow, you threw everyone away. Wow, Il, alas, alas, alas, Il, you are worse than people. Wow, when it's time to reach out your elbow, you reach out your elbow. Wow, welcome to Beijing. Yin Tiesheng, Li Weifeng, Zheng Zhi, Tan, etc.: My goal is to open the accommodating world frequently. Zhao Xuri: One or two is not unusual. You can't afford to lose. Zheng Zhi/Tan: Please don't hesitate to give two red cards as a gift. Li Weifeng: Sleepwalking on the court is a common practice. All national football teams welcome you to touch you with the goal difference. All points will be sent to you. It doesn't matter. Welcome to meet the amateur team. You can advance to Yin Tiesheng: It's always polite to welcome another game. Shengjiong Qiu: The face has changed, but the result is still the same. You can lose, but you will never win. Liu: My goal is to be open forever. I can join you in a few. Lv Jianjun: After the confrontation, you will love it. Chen Tao: No matter how far or near you are, please make yourself at home. Zhou Haibin: Don't worry about making it up to you next time. Dong Fangzhuo: My family lives in Xie Yalong. Jiang Ning: It doesn't matter if you don't know football. Career comes first. Han Peng: When you come to the stadium, you are all guests. Please make yourself at home. Feng Xiaoting: Although it doesn't matter, no one will defend your whole national football team: the national football team welcomes you to create a world.