Jokes related to seeking peace and realm

The ultimate joke about a husband lying

There was a couple. The husband loved bowling but was also afraid of his wife. The wife loved to smoke. One night, the wife found her cigarette in her cigarette. After finishing smoking, I asked my husband to buy some. The husband had no choice but to go buy it, but it was already very late and the nearby canteens were closed. This made the husband very anxious. It suddenly occurred to him that there should be a cigarette seller in the bar, so he went When he arrived at the bar, the husband saw a beautiful lady sitting at the bar, so he walked over to chat with the lady, and then they went to book a room together.

In the middle of the night, the husband suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to buy cigarettes for his wife, and he was afraid that his wife would beat him to death if she knew about it, so he asked the lady if she had any talcum powder. It was strange but I gave it to him anyway. The husband applied talcum powder on his hands and went home. As soon as he entered the house, the husband saw his wife standing there angrily. The wife asked her husband: "Where did you die!" < /p>

The husband answered honestly: "There was no place to sell cigarettes on the roadside, so I went to the bar. I saw a beautiful lady at the bar, so I went over to chat, and then we went to book a room. "

After hearing this, the wife said to her husband: "Stretch out your hand!"

The husband obediently stretched out his hand for his wife to see. The wife said angrily: "Return! Not to mention you went bowling with your friends! What’s wrong with your hands?”

The state of drinking

The first virgin stage: guard against death

The second young woman stage: half-rejected and half accepted

The third adult stage: no one refuses to come

The fourth widow stage: If you don’t come to me, I will come to you

The fifth old lady stage: Making blind gestures when you know you can't do it

The highest level of flattery

Bronze flattery

After reading the poster's post, I couldn't calm down for a long time, just like me It says: Big sounds are like sounds, elephants are like shapes. Now I finally understand what I lack, which is the author's persistent pursuit of truth and the author's sense of weight arising from the arduous practice of ideals. Facing the poster's post, I was so shocked that I could hardly move. The poster's generosity made me unable to help but read the poster again and again. Every time I read it, I felt a surge of admiration. Well, I always wonder if there is something magical under its elegant appearance that can make people taste meatless for three months and make people feel the lingering sound through the beams for three days. Sir, your writing is really good. The only thing I can do is to upvote this post.

Crystal level flattery

The poster’s post is really well written. The writing style is fluent and the rhetoric is appropriate. It is deeply rooted in the legacy of the Wei and Jin dynasties, and it also carries forward the style of the Tang and Song Dynasties to the core. I will be able to see this post of the original poster in my lifetime. It is really my blessing in three lifetimes. After reading this post from the original poster, I felt an indescribable sense of sadness - ah, such a good post, what should I do if I can never see it again in the future? So what should I do? Until I did not hesitate to bookmark this post of the original poster. The excitement in my heart gradually calmed down. But I immediately thought, if others can’t see such a good post, wouldn’t it be a waste of the poster’s efforts? After a painful ideological struggle, I finally made up my mind to push this post up until everyone can see it.

Jade level flattery

In Before meeting you, I was doubtful about whether there were real saints in the world; but now, I finally believe it! I once fell in love with the songs of the Han Dynasty, I was once surprised by Li Du's poetic talent, and I once lingered on the lyrics and music of the Song and Yuan Dynasties; but now, I realize how shallow I am!

Silver level flattery

Your noble sentiments are so touching. In today's materialistic society where money is rampant, it is undoubtedly the greatest luck in my life to still meet such a sweet-tempered person like the original poster. It made me deeply feel the greatness of human nature. The poster's post is like the lightning that pierces the night sky in the darkness, or the sunshine that tears apart the dark clouds. It makes me drink nectar in an instant and makes me understand that eternal truth really exists in this world. Only someone with a broad mind and a complete knowledge system like the original poster can be the only introducer of this truth. After reading the original poster's post, I fell into serious thinking. I think that if I don't upvote the original poster's post, it would be a betrayal of the truth and a huge compromise to the fallacy.

Therefore, I decided to give it a thumbs up without looking back!

Gold level flattery

Well said! I have been living in the xx community for so many years and have read countless people. Even if I have never seen a pig walking, I always know what pork tastes like. As soon as I saw the author's momentum, I felt that there was an essential difference between the author and the gang of little bastards who flooded the community. The melancholy tone, the familiar signature, and the lofty rhetoric between the lines. It’s useless, poster. No matter how you change your vest, it’s useless. Your hundreds of millions of fans have already recognized you. You must be the legendary strongest ID. Ever since the community was revised, I have become disheartened and have little hope for the community. The legend has been disillusioned and the myth has ended. What is the point of staying in the community. Unexpectedly, I never expected that I would be able to see the author’s style again today. I was so excited that I couldn’t help but shed tears in front of the screen. Yes, as long as under the leadership of the poster, the community has hope. My heart boiled again, and the blood in my chest burned again. Although the poster's few words are simple, they are concise and concise. They reveal the root of several major questions that we have been thinking about for many years but cannot find answers to. The poster is like the beacon of the community, the poster is like the direction of the community, and the poster is like the pillar of the community. With the landlord here, the community will have a better tomorrow!

Platinum level flattery

The master’s words are like “the sound of great sound sweeping away the shadows”, like “pushing away the clouds and seeing the blue sky”, which makes us netizens see hope and the future. ! Bolt from the blue and enlightenment may not be enough to describe the possibility of the master's article; the clouds in Wushan and the flowing water of the Yangtze River are even more difficult to compare with the master's literary talent! Huang Zhongda Lu is inspiring! Your candle illuminates the world, and you can see thousands of miles clearly; the rain and dew bring benefits to all directions! Through your profound words, I seem to see your majestic and heroic posture, looking at wolves and wolves, walking like dragons and tigers; I seem to see your wise demeanor, holding a pen as big as a raft, writing articles all over the world; I seem to see you looking around with your sword, The heroic spirit of countless heroes!

Diamond level flattery

After reading this post sentence by sentence, my heart cannot calm down for a long time, it is so shocking! Why is there such a good post! I have been on the Internet for many years, and I thought that no post would ever touch me again, but I didn’t expect to see such a wonderful post today. Sir, it was you who made me deeply understand the saying "There are people outside the world, and there is a sky outside the world". Thank you! After reading this post, I did not reply immediately because I was afraid that my vulgar reply would tarnish this rare post on the Internet. But I still replied because I felt that if I couldn’t leave my online name behind such a wonderful post, I would never die in peace! How proud I am to be able to leave my own name behind such a wonderful post! Sir, please forgive my selfishness! I know that no matter how gorgeous the words are to describe the brilliance of your post, it is not enough and is hypocritical, so I just want to say: your post is so beautiful! I am willing to watch it for the rest of my life! The idea of ??this post is novel, the subject matter is original, the paragraphs are clear, the plot is strange, the ups and downs, the main line is clear, fascinating, and it shows extraordinary literary skills in the ordinary. It can be said that every word is precious, every sentence is a classic, and it is a model that our generation should learn from. From the perspective of novel art, this post is not too successful, but its experimental significance is far greater than the success itself. As the saying goes: "A galloping horse, a shooting vulture and a bow, the heaven and the earth are in my heart!" The original poster is truly worthy of being the founder of the new generation of Wuli World! Originally, I was already disappointed with this community. I felt that this community had no future, and my heart was filled with sadness. But reading your post gave me hope in the community again. It is you who rekindled the fire of hope in my heart, it was you who revived my heart, and it was you who saved my heart that was cold and cold! Originally I decided not to reply to any posts in the community, but after reading your post, I told myself that I must reply to this post! This is a great post that is rare to see in a century! The sky has eyes, allowing me to see such a wonderful post in the year of eugenics

The realm of bragging

A, B, and C are discussing who has the worst drinking capacity. A: I get drunk after just one drink. B: I got drunk after just one drop. C: I got drunk when I smelled alcohol. At this time Ding came over and asked: What are you talking about? A: We are discussing who has the worst drinking capacity.

As soon as Ding heard the wine, he fell drunk on the ground...

The highest level of college student life

Mortal: What? Tomorrow I will take the high school math test

Dedao: What? I have to take the high-level math test in the next class

Enter the Immortal: What? The test I just took was for advanced mathematics

Becoming a Buddha: What? There was an exam yesterday

Senior Buddha: High math? The test just now was not English

A friend in my dormitory said: What kind of tree is high math