Tell me some ghost jokes.

revive after death

Lazy people wash less, but they don't know how to clean themselves. Walking with the village one night, I couldn't get rid of the ghost in the graveyard, so I waved something. When the ghost saw it, he quickly withdrew. When the village asked what musical instrument it was, the lazy man replied, "smelly socks."

Overslept

A man was very ill and the hospital gave him first aid. After several tossing and turning, everyone was so tired at night that everyone fell asleep. The doctor who got up early shouted, Mom, I overslept and forgot to give him first aid. The nurse woke up: Mom, I overslept and forgot to give him an intravenous drip. Family members also woke up: Mom, how can you still be alive if you don't change the intravenous drip and give first aid all night? I only heard a negative voice: Mom, I overslept and forgot to be heady!

Knowing a father is like knowing a son.

An old man died, and the dutiful son invited a group of monks to cross over, but he had a special order to ask the old man's soul to go to the East. The monk wondered: going to the west is a paradise. The dutiful son replied: My father had better twist his arms and thighs in this life. People say that he leans towards the west. Just read it to the East, and he will go to the West as soon as possible.

Long road

Yan ordered a census and found that there were many birthday girls in the mountains. He asked the ghost why the sentence was unfair, and the ghost judge faltered: it's too far, and it's very tiring to go once. ...

Different division of labor

Horse face suddenly arrived, trying to hook Lao Zhang's soul. Lao Zhang was so scared that he paid a lot of money for cigarettes and tea. He wished he couldn't give anything for his birthday, and Ma Mian left with a bag full. Not long after, another horse face was heady again. Lao Zhang said very grievance, didn't you let me celebrate my birthday? Xinma sneered: silly, you have been fooled, it doesn't care about this area. ...

Respect art

The singer made many curtain calls before the audience dispersed with satisfaction. The only person who doesn't leave calls himself heady. Why wait? A: You must finish singing.

doctrine

A professor gave a lecture: It is romanticism to turn a dead person into a butterfly. Being asked to leave by a horse face is classicism. Being cremated is realism. Being frozen and resurrected is surrealism. Besides, you can't imagine me dead, can you? This is ridiculous. ...

Accurate calculation

Mr. Guagua (seeing the sign): You will make a small fortune today. ...

Soothsayer: Yes, I feel it, too. ...

After the fortune teller left, onlookers pointed out Mr. Guagua: That was a thief just now, and your wallet is …

be hedged with qualifications

A friend is watching "Midnight Bell" on the computer. An outsider asked: the computer effect is poor, why not use VCD?

A: You don't know, the computer screen is small, and Zhenzi can't climb out. ...

GREAT GHOST boy and old ghost.

GREAT GHOST: The threat plan didn't work tonight.

Child: It's all you. You don't choose a place to scare people. Why go to the blind massage parlor? ...

Old ghost: Kid, where's the paper money your family burned the other day?

Kidd: GREAT GHOST and I have invested together.

Old ghost: Did you make any money?

Child: ... this fool has no feet, but he insists on opening a shoe store!