Are you kidding?

When I was at school, I went shopping with my boyfriend. As soon as I got out of school, I happened to meet my brother who came to see me with something. After seeing me, my brother greeted me happily: girl! Where are you going? What is this? My boyfriend froze, and before I could speak, my brother hit his nose with a fist: boy! How presumptuous! The scene was once very embarrassing. ...

Since the first blind date was rejected by me, my mother was unwilling to die and found a boy from a relative's house, which was demolished by a large family. It is said that the whole building belongs to their family. My mother said enthusiastically: It's agreed, register immediately and ask for a suite. When she said this, I saw a wolf with red eyes, which was almost impossible to visualize. Did you raise your daughter to sell it when she grew up?

The LZ family opened a fruit shop. One day, a sister came to buy fruit and asked me how much apples and peaches were. I said apple 5 yuan, peach 4 yuan. My sister will think and say, Do you want me to take some from each person, according to 50% of 4 yuan? Let me think about it. All right. As a result, my sister happily began to choose. Nima, I weighed it and found a big bag of apples with a Momo on it. . Are you kidding? ...

At noon, I eat at home. When there is a plate of fish, my mother eats fish heads. I watched silently, leaving tears. I asked my mom, mom, why do you only eat fish heads? My mother said: nothing, my mother loves fish heads. But mom, this is a fish head with chopped pepper! ! It feels different from what I saw when I was a child. I suspect that this is a fake fish.

There is a classmate named Qin Yao in the class. The monitor called the roll for the first time and looked at the roster and was about to cry. She held back for a long time and asked, "Who said' the west is not big enough'?"

An old man and an old lady got on the bus together, and there was only one seat. After the old lady sat down, the old man came forward and asked her, "How old are you this year?" The old lady replied, "Sixty-eight!" Hearing this, the old man said happily to the old lady, "Hehe, I am seventy-three! Older than you, get up and give me your seat! " Unexpectedly, the old lady smiled and said to the old man, "I'm sorry, I'm pregnant with a second child!" " "

My son bought a pack of crispy noodles with 50 cents and a pack of cards. . . After three more packages, the shopkeeper quit. My son said to me: it seems that I can support my family!

Have you ever eaten instant noodles? ""yes, why? " "Do you know what is wrong with instant noodles?" "One pack is not enough to eat, and two packs can't be eaten! "

Travel with your best friends and rest under the tree when you are tired. Suddenly a few drops of bird droppings fell on my face, and before I knew it, my best friend had helped me clean it evenly. While wiping, he said, "Your sunscreen hasn't been soaked evenly."

I've been thinking a lot lately. There are so many women in the world, I think I will sell sanitary napkins in droves in the future, and I will definitely make money. Create your own brand called "Shure". I have thought of all the advertising words, that is, "Skynet is long, sparse but not leaking."

When I was eating today, my sister saw that I had been eating lotus roots, and said, I like to eat lotus roots, but I don't know how to eat them often! My sister said it was because you lacked too much! ……

Love in a circle of friends: Honey, have you had enough fun? I am waiting for you to come back.

1. My father is a good man. Please don't take him away when he is six years old.

If you show a little concern for me, I will give you a hundred times happiness.

The best feeling is that when you look at him, he is already staring at you.

4, in this life, people really love only once, and then even if there is deep love, it will not hurt again.

I was exiled, but I still can't escape from you. I only blame my love.

6. Your love is buried, your hate is collected, and your pain should be forgiven.

7. The more people like you, the more naive they are to you.

8. "My passion was finally killed by your indifference."

I have never understood your idea, but I don't work hard because I love it.

10, if there is a choice, then choose the best; If you have no choice, do your best.

1 1, honey, have you had enough fun? I am waiting for you to come back.

12, what we thought we were obsessed with was forgotten in the process of obsession.

13, baby, don't be crazy, there is still a long way to go.

14, true love can't be abandoned, and what can be abandoned is not true love. No matter how many times you lose, this true love will come back to me.

15, the mountain has no edges, heaven and earth are in harmony, and I dare to die with you.

16, beauty is an obsession, I insist, you are free.

17, this life, gorgeous youth, can not be verified.

18, people like me are definitely not loved and have nothing to want.

19, the time I keep trying to forget.

I am me, fireworks of different colors, and I want to be the strongest foam.

2 1, you praised me for being invulnerable. In fact, my smile has penetrated my heart.

22. Why do all your affectionate words make me cry?

23, a long stream of water, plain happiness can last forever.

24. If one day you choose to give up on me, I won't cry but smile stronger, because I know crying can't save you.

Non-mainstream personality quotations-you play with your customization and I play with my formatting.

Damn mosquito, I'm not your father. Why do you always eat mine and drink mine?

The weather is as cold as a joke, and life is like nonsense.

We are all passers-by, but fortunately we didn't hit each other!

We make money, make a career and fall in love for happiness, so happiness is the real wealth of life.

It is said that money is a number game, but this game must be fun, otherwise how can so many people scramble to play?

Wukong, catch a demon for master to play with!

No matter how big the difficulty is, it is easy to decide, and no matter how small the difficulty is, it is also a big problem that makes you stop.

I don't want to be gentle for a while, as long as you accompany me for a lifetime!

Promising people pay bank interest, while losers charge bank interest.

As an adult, nothing more than going to nightclubs without guilt and having children without hiding!

There is an animal that looks like you.

Standing at the crossroads of life, I am even more confused.

Face is given by others, and face is lost by yourself.

Every time I see a handsome guy, I always feel a little guilty and always think about how to have something to do with him.

Wife is a big tree, lover is grass, planting a big tree is good for enjoying the cool, raising a piece of grass is good for walking birds, harmonious society and environmental protection.

When I saw your expression, I felt that your parents were not serious when they made you.

Low-key people In the real world, low-key guys are the most attractive.

I really don't want to despise you with my toes. But, man, you made me do it.

Love, like gambling, gambles on organs for people with pink eye.

Life is like a meteor, shining. When you make a wish, it has passed quietly.

Businessmen, businessmen, and people who specialize in hurting others are called businessmen.

I graduated from handyman major, and now I am a handyman.

Calm, as flat as a weaver's chest, as quiet as a cowherd's lower body.

Waiter, give me a cup of milk tea, more tea and less milk …

Curse those who bully us and eat noodles and snot.

I am a pretty girl who digs clams … draw a circle to curse you.

I dance on the tip of the knife, heavy or light, from the soles of my feet to my heart, which is a kind of spreading pain after all.

After all I've done for you, you turned a blind eye.

Can Hua Tuo's reincarnation heal the other person's thoughts?

As the saying goes: I won't commit a crime if people don't commit it! But as the saying goes, first strike is strong, then strike is strong.

You play with your customization and I play with my formatting.

After breaking up, I shook my head smartly and my wig was thrown out.

Even if a woman is like clothes, my sister's gold underpants are not affordable for you and others.

Without hair, dandruff is more prominent.

Feelings are never right or wrong, only love and not love.

Diao Erlang is just the skin of a steamed stuffed bun. Everyone should be good at finding stuffing through skins.

There is a kind of love, no matter how clever I am, I can't get it all.

Meeting without fate is accidental.

I don't know what is serious. Illness is a walking dictionary.

Being in love is like playing mahjong. It's boring if you're not serious, and it's easy to get hurt if you're too serious.

I thought time might dilute my love for you, but I was wrong. The longer I stay, the more I love you.

Time stops at this second. My heart broke when you said you didn't love me.

Even though I have never been in your heart, I don't want to try now.

There is no end, and the loneliness of a person falling will eventually be empty. ...

I don't think I love you enough, otherwise I won't tolerate it.

Accustomed to so much, not used to it. I'm used to too many things I shouldn't be used to

The world hurts me the most, except you. It's me.

I know who is nice to me when I play around.

First, if you wear a crown, you won't bow your head even if you are cursed and laughed at.

Second, although we were young and ignorant at that time, it was too easy to regard desire as love. In fact, the person who loves you the most will only appear when he knows the responsibility. We should be grateful for life sometimes. It has given us so much suffering that people always know the meaning of life after suffering.

Third, we know many things, but we can't do them.

Four, a hand will get happiness, a hug will have the whole world, it turns out that happiness is so simple, so simple that you can get it in your hand, that kind of absent-minded feeling.

The meaning of life lies in listening to your inner voice and being the best you can be.

When I hear your name, I am used to raising my head reflexively.

Seven, how about the destruction of the world, as long as you nod, or go with you without hesitation.

Eight, in this life, we may not meet anyone. Chance is chance, coincidence is foreshadowing; You don't have to leave anyone. No matter how tight your hand is, say goodbye. It is unbreakable and actually fragile. People and things in the world are nothing more than gathering and dispersing gains and losses, and meeting and laughing to forget the enmity; At the fork in the road, give yourself a little life. No one is yours, and neither are you. Whether you have it or lose it, it is always difficult to meet each other. You can only do it and cherish it.

Nine, we lost our childhood, lost our youth, and got something called achievement; We abandoned our parents and ourselves to find something called love.

The biggest sorrow in life is not that you can't get it or lose it, but that you don't know what you want at all.

Eleven, fate will not owe anyone, look into the distance, whose head has a blue sky; Looking down, everyone has a sea of flowers in their hearts. Only when Chun Lv is yellow in winter can you feel the alternation of nature; Only when rain and sunshine alternate can you feel the changes in the outside world. Pain is a kind of calcium, which can make us stand up for a long time; Bitterness is a medicine that can make us tenaciously support. If you feel that fate is unfair, it is because you are narrow-minded. If you think narrowly, the road ahead is bound to be narrow.

12. Inappropriateness means poverty, no feeling means ugliness, love at first sight means beauty, and consideration means money. This is reality.

Thirteen, there are few words in the mouth and few natural disasters; Less food in the abdomen, less natural diseases; If you think less in your heart, you will naturally have less troubles; There are few things on your body, and you naturally suffer less; Great sorrow without tears, great enlightenment without words. Cherish fate, let nature take its course, get together with the party, and feel uncomfortable everywhere.

Fourteen, life is impermanent, the most important thing is not where you are, but the direction you are going. You can't decide the length of life, but you can control its width; You can't control the weather, but you can change your mood; You can't change your appearance, but you can smile; You can't control others, but you can control yourself; You can't predict tomorrow, but you can make use of today; You can't do everything smoothly, but you can try your best.

Fifteen, the reality is cruel, and happiness is perishable. No matter what you are pursuing at the moment, I hope you can keep a happy heart in this process, then what you yearn for will come to your life more effortlessly.

Sixteen, we think it is easy to start a love, and it is easy to end a love, and it is even worth looking forward to. After many years, I suddenly look back and find that love is the most extravagant disposable consumer goods.

Seventeen, about the distance, the most terrible thing is that you will not be sure whether the other party will miss you or forget you.

Kim Soo Hyun is the most beautiful scenery and the warmest sunshine I have ever seen.

19. Inappropriateness means poverty, no feeling means ugliness, love at first sight means beauty, and deliberation means wealth. This is reality.

I know who is good to me when I play.

2 1. Live a carefree life with a casual attitude.

When one day you think of my goodness, maybe I don't like you so much.

Twenty-three, people are sad, not because love is over, but when everything is over, love is still there.

Don't always think twice, otherwise it will bring problems that don't exist at all. Analyze the situation first, and then act decisively. You can't change the reality you don't want to face. Progress means adventure. You can't take the second step without taking the first step. This is life.

Twenty-five, for life, acceptance is the best gentleness, whether it is accepting a person's appearance or accepting a person's disappearance.

In the process of competing with reality, I gradually found that maturity is falling out.

Twenty-seven, when you are weak, you are most easily moved by simple words, aren't you?

28. Life is like a seed. What to sow for yourself, what to harvest for time.