Joke special issue

You love someone, but you don't know how to express it.

You don't know how to win each other's hearts.

You want to tell her, but you're ashamed to say it?

Never mind, we will help you!

Lovett's research team tracked 9773 couples for 8 years and summed up a set of precise love skills. The LoveT research team, composed of psychologists and computer experts, is completely anonymous and free. Here, you can know how to win the heart of the one you love.

At present, 163245 users have used our recommended dating skills, and 97.67% of them think it is very useful. Would you like to have a try?

When Jiang Na sent this passage from QQ, Ye Niu just lazily followed the website and casually answered one by one, without noticing Jiang Na's secretive smile:

Please fill in the following form carefully:

Your name: Ye Niu.

The name of your favorite person: Chun Wu.

How many friends of the opposite sex do you have: 3.

Please click Next.

Jiang Na winked at her and pretended to be mysterious, completely ignoring the computer teacher who frowned at herself. Ye Niu suppressed a smile, bowed his head slightly, clicked "OK", and after seeing the words "testing, please wait a moment", he replied on QQ:

"I have finished it and am waiting for the result."

A few minutes later-

Ye Niu in distress situation, I knew Jiang Na had no good heart, so she waited for herself here. She snickered in her mind: you are still young to fight with me, little fellow.

It is no secret that the whole class knows that she worships Chun Wu.

It's a good thing I'm witty. If you were just confused at that time and wrote down Kong Qizhe's name, the two men's hard-working underground love affair would be known to the whole school within five minutes, even through Jiang Na's loudspeaker.

Think like this, unexpectedly broke out in a cold sweat, she hurriedly want to turn off the web page, a line attracted her attention:

Want to play the same joke with your friends? Do you want to know if yours really loves you? Now you can play the same joke with him, and you can know his little secret.

Let's get started:

We need your email address, so that we can send you what others have tested and let you know their secrets.

1, your name:

2. Your e-mail address:

3. Question 1 What do you want to ask the other party:

4. Question 2: What do you want to ask each other?

Please click OK.

Ye Niu stared at the computer in a daze, hesitating whether to send one to Kong Qizhe.

There are two choices in my mind:

Of course, this boy insists on having an underground love affair with himself. After asking for a long time, I still insisted that I was afraid that the teacher would know to invite parents. Ye Niu has always been dubious and always feels that he is hiding something. Since there is such a convenient way to know his inner thoughts, of course I will try.

-You idiot, test your head. What if he doesn't fill in "favorite person" as you? Do you really want to break up with him?

Anyway, anyway, send it.

Ye Niu then filled it carefully. In the "question I want to ask each other" option, she typed "Who is your favorite girl?" "Question 2: I want to ask the other person to" fill in "my current girlfriend. Will you love her for life?" . After leaving her email, she clicked "OK".

Your question has been recorded, and your exclusive website is ...

Afraid of Kong Qizhe's worry, she specially registered a new email address and sent it anonymously.

2、

Jiang Na is Ye Niu's deskmate and close friend. She is as heartless and straightforward as a boy. Ye Niu often thinks that Jiang Na is too simple, and takes it for granted that everyone is a good person, friendly to everyone and open to everyone. She always takes jokes casually told by others seriously and never knows that they are perfunctory. After several losses, it remains the same.

Eating, chatting, studying, shopping ... good, but it must not be her. Even with Kong Qizhe, Ye Niu often felt wronged and never said a word to Jiang Na. Never.

Sometimes Ye Niu will wonder who is in love, like herself. We can only meet off campus every Saturday afternoon, when and where.

The point must be decided by Kong Qizhe. -at school, pretending not to know each other. -Don't care too much about Kong Qizhe. -We should speak with one voice and say whatever anyone asks.

No favorite, no girlfriend/boyfriend. -don't go to Kong Qizhe's class to find him. -Don't take the initiative to call or send text messages to Kong Qizhe. ..... more than a year of love time, if Ye Niu is TV, then Kong Qi.

Zhe is her remote control, and the initiative of love has always been in his hand.

Since Kong Qizhe was with her, she has made all kinds of strange demands. Even if there are too many harsh demands, Ye Niu just nodded and obeyed. Just like the instruction in the remote control, no matter where he presses it, she will follow it for the first time.

Rather than being in love, she has been cooperating. He's remotely controlled from there. She cooperates at this end. It is always unilateral, and there is never a so-called "mutual".

Ye Niu remembers the first meeting with Kong Qizhe. At the end of the first year of high school, I was divided into liberal arts and science. Y, which has always been famous for its liberal arts, has made it mandatory to study if the total score is lower than the prescribed score. If you have no free choice and are not convinced, please transfer yourself. If you take classes for nothing, you have to calculate the scores of mathematics. Poor Ye Niu can't even reach three figures in several sciences.

Hahaha! You've been played by your friend Jiang Na! ! ! What you just filled in has been sent to Jiang Na's mailbox, and now all your secrets are known to her! ! !

It is her ideal to attend a liberal arts class in Y Middle School.

Stupid birds fly first, even if they are blind. Ye Niu holds a math textbook and reads it over and over again. Only the after-school exercises in the textbook have been done three times, and I don't know how many exercises I bought from the bookstore. In order to save time and check her carelessness, she also intends to give up the last two 40-point questions in the math test paper.

So, at least above the average? Counting the advantages of liberal arts (English and Chinese have never fallen out of the top five), it is not a big problem to be assigned to liberal arts classes.

Even so, she can't take it lightly. She knows the instability of her academic performance, so she dare not relax. She goes to the school artificial lake to recite liberal arts at 5 o'clock every morning, and she is more likely to get sleepy at night, so she tries to do math problems.

It was that morning that I met Kong Qizhe by the artificial lake. Wearing a beige double-breasted trench coat and black zipper trousers, he leaned against the trunk of a weeping willow tree in a daze. When Ye Niu saw that his territory was occupied, he consciously looked elsewhere. I saw him every day for the next few days. Strangely, he doesn't have any study materials, fishing tools or even an MP3 player. He just leaned against the trunk in a daze.

Ye Niu thought, what a freak. This weirdo, Ye Niu later learned that his name was Kong Qizhe. After a few days, he suddenly took the initiative to talk to her. "I said, mushroom head, what do you do every day?" ..... You are a mushroom head, and your whole family is a mushroom head. Ye Niu thought so in his heart, but didn't speak. "Hey, what have you been watching all day?" Kong Qizhe saw that she didn't talk, so he came and grabbed Ye Niu's hand.

In the book, bring it over and turn a few pages. "You can't see that you are really studying hard. I thought you were pretending to read a romance novel. " "That is better than you, get up so early every day, just to come here in a daze. Waste of time and land, yes, waste of fresh air. " ..... that's how we met. But not familiar with it. Kong Qizhe doesn't come every day, but only once in a while. They didn't speak when they met. She read her book, and he asked him to stay, but it didn't matter. Say "goodbye" occasionally when you leave, such as Ye Niu, the lake, yourself and Ye Niu didn't answer.

The campus is actually quite big, but since I met Kong Qizhe, they occasionally meet on campus. The first time I saw her, Ye Niu didn't know how to say hello. At the moment of hesitation, she saw Kong Qizhe's eyes drooping, saying, "Who are you?" She also pretended not to see it.

Even Ye Niu herself didn't think she would fall in love with such a person, did she?

-incredibly still underground love.

In an exam, she won the ninth place in her class. Ye Niu's father rewarded her with the latest Nokia mobile phone. She bought an eye-catching yellow phone lanyard, excitedly took it to school, set up colored ringtones and ringtones, and wished someone would call her every minute.

It was that day that Kong Qizhe suddenly came over and invited her to the suburbs.

Ye Niu is still in a daze. Kong Qizhe said, "I'll pick you up at your intersection tomorrow morning."

When Kong Qizhe appeared at the intersection with a motorcycle and a heavy helmet, it was like a draw. Ye Niu didn't put on airs or refuse directly, but sat on it with his hands behind his back and grabbed the armrest in the back seat.

When one day, Ye Niu recalled that day's experience, feeling a little puzzling, and seemed to let nature take its course.

Strong study pressure makes her want to have a rare serious illness, even if she lives in the ward all her life, it is better than facing the faces of teachers in all subjects all day.

Kong Qizhe is a bug hidden in Ye Niu. Suddenly one day, it fell off her body, grew rapidly, and smoothly transformed into a long-term accumulated desire that she wanted to erupt.

It was in the outer suburbs of the city, a bit like an expanded school playground, with few pedestrians and no trees.

A faint green meadow, further on, is a quiet lake, not even a bird.

Ye Niu asked, "Kong Qizhe, what's your name? Confucius's Confucius, actually its philosophy? "

"Anything will do."

"Uh ..."

"how about it? Is the air fresh? "

"hmm." Ye Niu nodded seriously. "But it feels like something is missing."

"What's missing?"

"The lack of a guitar. If you can lie comfortably on the grass and someone is playing the piano and singing, it will be a fairyland on earth. "

Kong Qizhe looked at Ye Niu seriously. "You wait." Then I disappeared on my motorcycle.

Ye Niu sat down and thought, maybe you can really get a guitar?

After about ten minutes, Kong Qizhe came out of nowhere and really sat next to Ye Niu with a guitar. Ye Niu heard him sing:

The world has been destroyed by us/it is chaotic, hypocritical and unprincipled/you want to be happy, I want to be happy/but we are hurting each other/the world has been destroyed by us/it is chaotic, hypocritical and unprincipled/you treat me as an enemy/your face is always so cold/girl, you are so stupid/you always avoid my arrow of love. ...

A folk song was sung by him, and Ye Niu felt that she had never heard such a beautiful song.

Kong Qizhe's voice is crisp and childlike. On that quiet morning, his singing seemed to have weight and direction, and it went straight to Ye Niu, through his body and through his heart. The whole person is light, like flying on the lake.

Ye Niu listened attentively, and Kong Qizhe spread out his hand. "One hundred dollars."

"What one hundred dollars?"

"It costs 100 yuan to listen to music."

"Is it too expensive?"

"Where is your? I rented a guitar for 200 yuan an hour. "

"This ..."

..... Kong Qizhe looked Ye Niu in the eye, held out his hand and held her hand, slightly hard.

Ye Niu noticed that her palms were sweaty and sweaty. She was a little embarrassed, but she didn't want to take it out. She was worried that if she did that, Kong Qizhe would think she was rejecting him.

-the worm hidden in Ye Niu's body devoured her internal organs, and then suddenly jumped out of her body, itchy and painful.

4、

Since sending that email, Ye Niu has been in a daze, refreshing the email every few minutes. To her disappointment, Kong Qizhe did not move. The mailbox is empty except for a letter "Sina mailbox welcomes your registration".

Ye Niu secretly laughed at her pedantry. How could Kong Qizhe do such a boring thing? He must think that some boring person posted the virus website. At the same time, I clicked on "unread email" for the nth time.

I didn't let her down this time. Among the emails that have not been received in the mailbox, an email entitled "You lied to Kong Qizhe's secret" is impressive. She repressed her intense anxiety and fear, and her right hand trembled and went in:

Kong Qizhe's favorite girl is: chicken.

Now girlfriend, will you love her for life? Of course.

Originally prepared for the worst, she was 100% sure that Kong Qizhe would not write her name. Now I'm a little disappointed to see my nickname.

"Little girl" is a name that belongs exclusively to Kong Qizhe. He likes to call Ye Niu "little girl". Ye Niu listened, but she felt that when she called, she was kind and natural, a little frivolous and a little coquettish.

"Little girl, I like to stay in a daze."

Ye Niu is puzzled. "Why do you always have to be in a daze?"

"This is the easiest time to be in a daze. Don't think about anything, you can think about anything. No one is restricted. " Kong Qizhe wrapped his fingers around Ye Niu's chestnut hair and paused. "Little girl, lend me MP3 for two days."

Without thinking, Ye Niu took out an MP3 from his backpack and handed it to him.

In fact, Kong Qizhe doesn't talk much on every date. Ye Niu doesn't take the initiative to find a topic, and they often sit for half a day. Look at the sky, or plug in earplugs to listen to music.

Ye Niu enjoys the quiet time together. Just like Kong Qizhe likes to find a quiet place, in order to find a place where he can be in a daze; For himself, Kong Qizhe is a person who can make himself dumbfounded.

The greatest advantage of being young is that you have a lot of time to spend. Kong Qizhe is Ye Niu's most willing to spend time with her at present.

5、

Ye Niu was ashamed of his doubts about Kong Qizhe.

Kong Qizhe should really do it for each other, okay? It's not that she hasn't seen the way the school punishes middle school students in love. Calling parents, writing a review, warning and discouraging, parents humbly begged not to expel their children in front of the principal like three grandchildren ... Although she had the heart to secretly fall in love behind her parents' backs, she never expected the principal to bully her parents.

Every time I think like this, I'm glad I haven't been discovered, but I'm more guilty of Kong Qizhe. The most important thing in love is trust. Ye Niu didn't know how to make up for it, so he had to listen to Kong Qizhe more and more and try his best to be good to him.

Ye Niu has never been in love. The so-called good to him, but also within the scope of their own can bear, put all their enthusiasm. Almost all the pocket money given by parents is spent on him; Her latest mobile phone, all kinds of small gifts, whether he likes it or not; Everything he likes.

Well, drinks, snacks, game cards ... and she, all the time and energy. Although she resented his irrationality and indifference for countless times, Ye Niu knew that she was happy with Kong Qizhe. Perhaps it is because of the infinite greed in people's hearts that they will willingly and endlessly pay for the illusory happiness? It must be like this.

6、

On the day I met Kong Qizhe and Jiang Jiayao in the street, Ye Niu was shopping with Jiang Na. Jiang Na tried on almost all the newly listed clothes in a foreign trade store, tossing for more than an hour, always hesitating which one to buy.

Ye Niu bored sitting on a low stool in front of the foreign trade shop, just saw Kong Qizhe and a girl coming head-on. She stood up slowly. "Shopping?" "yes." "This is ..." "My girlfriend, Jiang Jiayao." Ye Niu noticed that Kong Qizhe said the word "Jiang Jiayao" calmly and naturally, and his eyes were as clear as if they had been washed with eye wash. It is these clear brown eyes, which she has always liked, and now she looks at her calmly, without any abnormality before.

What she was worried about finally proved that she had no idea and panicked.

She is used to weakness. Even if all the reasons are on her side, it seems that she is the last one to be guilty. "Nothing, let's go first." Kong Qizhe said this lightly, and Jiang Jiayao continued to walk arm in arm. Jiang Jiayao turned around and looked at her doubtfully, then turned to Kong Qizhe and said something. Ye Niu saw Kong Qizhe holding her neck and rubbing her face with her nose, just like all close lovers.

The two walked forward talking and laughing. Jiang Na suddenly ran out, watched them leave and asked, "Hey, do you know Mei Wan?" Ye Niu wondered, "Who is Mei Wan?" "You don't even know Mei Wan? There are so few playboys in No.13 Middle School. I heard that he always falls in love with several girls at the same time. I don't know who is so unlucky this time. " Ye Niu thought-even the names were made up. Jiang Na continue to chatter, "I don't understand, you said that girls are fools? I know he has so many girlfriends, but everyone insists on being nice to him. Is it where he is fleshy, or is his father a multimillionaire? One by one, everyone scrambled to give him money. Why not raise a pretty boy yourself? You know Zhang Qiao from the next class, right? Stole five thousand dollars from home to buy a digital camera for Mei Wan, and was almost killed by her parents ... "

Ye Niu remembered Kong Qizhe that day. No, Mei Wan was serious when she played the guitar for herself, and her body suddenly became lighter. If it is.

If it is. Why did he insist on writing his name in the psychological test, and there was an unequivocal "of course"?

Kong Qizhe's favorite girl is: chicken.

Now girlfriend, will you love her for life? Of course.

6. In addition to all kinds of gifts from Ye Niu, Kong Qizhe also took away: an MP3 player, which Ye Niu has only heard twice and is worth 1800 yuan. Nokia mobile phone, Ye Niu's living expenses for two months are 1200 yuan cash. A few days before menstruation, Amanome gave a Swatch sports watch. It's from 900 yuan ... and the most expensive one is the PSP that Jiang Na's father brought back from Hongkong when he was on a business trip. Jiang Na didn't play for a few days, so he kindly gave it to Ye Niu.

Now-Kong Qizhe has all these. But Kong Qizhe certainly didn't mean to retire. Ye Niu doesn't return text messages, and he doesn't answer the phone. In a few days, the dialed number is already empty.

Lies are woven one after another. Apart from the scolding of parents and the nagging of mother all day, Jiang Na is the most difficult to face. She told Jiang Na that the PSP was stolen on the bus. Although she couldn't find the same model all over the city, the market price found online was 1900 yuan. Ye Niu decided to return the money to Jiang Na in a few months. Jiang Na heard Ye Niu answer expression is very natural, "don't also. Forget it. "

Ye Niu can hear the resentment and reluctance inside. Ye Niu knew that she would lose Jiang Na forever.

7. No one knows the pain in Ye Niu's heart. Those unspeakable pains from the bottom of my heart torment me all day.

Get her. In class, the teacher took a casual glance. During the break, the neighbor table and friends snickered. When I was in a panic, I accidentally bumped into a figure resembling Kong Qizhe. Burst out laughing when Jiang Na or others were talking about the sky. -Ye Niu knows the benefits of underground love: no one knows your pain. But the biggest pain is that no one really knows that she can't even express her sadness easily.

And in that unforgettable so-called "love", the only thing that can comfort yourself may be that test question. She clearly and profoundly remembered Kong Qizhe's answer and imitated his tone many times-reading aloud word by word.

Is it really stupid?

It was announced that the death penalty was about to be executed, but the person sentenced to death was still puzzled by the smile in front of the judge.

Even if she is cheated, she must and must convince herself that she must be the one who impressed him the most among all the deceived people and must also be the one who loves him the most.

Where there will be love. Who can tell a blind lover that love can not overturn the cruelty of reality by pursuing the details that have touched her? Or what?

8、

"Little girl, I bought a forest mousse you like to eat."

"Ha, that's very kind of you."

The boy put his arm around the girl's shoulder and they made eyes at each other.

Walking in front of the cake shop, I didn't notice the whole body stiff behind me.

Ye Niu there. It turned out that he called everyone "chicks". It was never hers. He just dated too many girls and was afraid of being lazy, so he used this system.

Weigh. That's all.

In the summer evening when I was eighteen, Ye Niu squatted in the corner and cried. She knows that no one is more stupid than her. No one is more stupid than her, calling a dirty deception love.