Tell a short message joke ... hehe

Classic jokes that can make you laugh in one sentence 2008-10-1013:19 | (classification: default classification)

If * * can fly, then my company is the airport.

All men are created equal, except those who get married.

Can we go somewhere for a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

I think as long as I have some modest qualities, I will be a perfect person.

If you need advice or opinions, we will provide them for free; If you need the correct answer, please pay extra.

In the past, when the alarm clock rang, I often had the problem of patting it before going back to sleep, but since I put three mousetraps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

If Beethoven is the father of symphony, does it mean that Beethoven's father is a master of symphony?

I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. My friends call it self-confidence.

The Association for the Blind sincerely advises you: Never drink and drive.

I think I should go to lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed a hundred milliliters of lard.

Experiment with two bugs. The one in the whiskey died, which proves that there are no bugs in the stomach when drinking whiskey.

My creativity is indescribable, my working ability is indescribable and my writing ability is indescribable.

If Bill Gates can get one yuan every time he restarts his computer, he will be rich.

Ten years later, the court sentenced the murderer to death for the second time.

I pretended to work for my boss, who pretended to pay me.

My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I haven't had a chance to interrupt her.

Have you heard the story that the big pig said yes and the little pig said no?

I never watch TV. I just often check whether the TV programs in the newspaper are misprinted.

Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, the first day; Fifteen points.

Why don't you be rational? My uncle is here. Why did you think of going to the zoo to see bears?

My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

Every day I keep setting a new world record-the number of days I have lived in this world.

In the internet world, your girlfriend may be a man and your boyfriend may be a woman, which is very painful, but you have to accept it.

Your shooting performance is really poor. If I were you, I would kill myself immediately in case you need to take more bullets.

If you want to compete with tigers who can starve to death more, you win.

I put the TV remote control on my waist, making it look like I bought a new mobile phone.

Money alone can't make people happy, so I also steal some jewelry, stamps, watches and so on.

Life is really boring. Last month, one of my buddies borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said that he was going to have plastic surgery. Now I don't know what he has become.

Notice to the robbers: Our staff only know Spanish, please wait patiently when robbing, and it is best to bring an interpreter, thank you!

Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

Everybody! Today is the 10 anniversary of my wife's 30th birthday!

I lost all my money, furniture and clothes, and now I go out like an Arab.

I am forgetful, so my wife often tells me not to take an umbrella when I go out in rainy days, so there are ten umbrellas at home now.

All the other columns are filled in except one, and the relationship column should be filled in. Don't be nervous.

Dad hit me twice today, the first time because he saw my two-point report card, and the second time because the report card was his childhood.

Tragedy is like I accidentally cut off my little finger; Comedy is like you accidentally fell into the sewer.

When arguing, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

Next, I will publish Mr. Smith's will. Before publishing the will, I would like to ask sincerely, Mrs. Smith, will you accept my proposal?

Don't call your children rabbits, because from a genetic point of view, it is not good for parents.

Honey, I shouldn't shine my shoes with sheets, but I just got back from a business trip and I can't change them for a while. I was wrong.

In order to improve the safety of the product, we decided to print on the coke bottle cap: please open this end; Bottle bottom print: Please open the other end.

Reporter: According to a recent poll, people pay little attention to current affairs at home and abroad. Congressman, what do you think of this? Member: No problem, I don't care.

Mary, if you don't promise to marry me, I will kill myself at once, which is my usual practice.

Multiple choice question: If a lawyer and a politician fall into the river at the same time, would you rather have coffee or go to the movies?

It would be funny if it didn't happen to me.

Do you want to have good teeth? Here are three lessons for you: first, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, go to the hospital for a dental examination every two years; Third, mind your own business.

Without hair, dandruff is more prominent!

We always habitually think that the brain is the most important organ of the human body, but don't forget who made this judgment.

We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

These are not rubbish! I collect antiques! Of course, you can throw it away if you don't like it.

Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature.

If a person laughs freely in the face of criticism, he may have found a scapegoat.

I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes when training. How dare you? If there are still loose clothes, then why should I sign up?