What does Qian Feng’s 20110318 joke mean?

Female 1: I took a class called "Applied Psychology" this semester!

Male: Really? Then come and help me analyze my psychology~Female: That’s not okay~Male: Why?

Female: Because I will only take the course "Abnormal Psychology" next semester!

22. When I was young, my classmates who read "English" as "forcibly giving interest" are now presidents; those who read "causal connection" are now philosophers; those who read "forcibly change history" are now Became a leader... I read "Washing in the Gutter" and ended up becoming a vegetable seller today!

23. When I was in high school, my family bought a computer. I read an introductory computer book and learned it. I learned that the exe file is the abbreviation of executable, the bmp file is the abbreviation of bitmap, and the bat file is the abbreviation of batch. Later, a classmate copied a few files to the computer when he came to my house. For a long time since then, I thought that jpg files were the abbreviation of "japanese

girl"... < /p>

24. Get up early in the morning and brush your teeth with Colgate carcinogenic toothpaste. Make a bottle of Nestlé milk powder with excessive iodine for your son. Then drink a cup of expired Guangming milk, eat a few steamed buns made with excessive flour, and put some in the smelly pool. Pickled mustard. Get ready to take the bus. There are so many people on the bus. I didn’t put my phone away, so I was accidentally “borrowed” by a little Xinjiang. At noon, I went to KFC with my colleagues to eat Sudanese red fried chicken. In the afternoon, I called my wife and asked her to go to a newly opened restaurant to eat vegetables fried in gutter oil. Among them was a plate of spicy eel shreds that were enlarged by birth control pills, and a beef nugget. Fans, two big Sichuan Ziyang pork buns, the boss served a cup of Biluochun tea with 100 times more heavy metals than allowed, and drank some beer containing formaldehyde. In the evening, the nanny called me and told me that she couldn’t get out of the well due to a mining accident. She told me not to forget to make rice mixed with white wax oil rice, not to forget to make a side dish of Jinhua ham soaked in dichlorvos, and not to forget to prepare Fuyang-produced rice for my children. Milk powder, don’t forget to make a few cups of saccharin water produced in Jinhua mixed with white fungus and bird’s nest for the adults... If you can come out of the mine safely, you must bring high-quality paper leather shoes produced in Wenzhou to the whole family. Finally, don’t Forgot to buy Xi’an’s welfare lottery tickets!

Hey, living this little life is a blessing!

25. A student posted an article "Recent Arrangements for Educational Activities of Tsinghua University to Maintain the Advanced Nature of Communist Party Members" on a certain forum in Shuimu. The moderator of this forum replied: Please do not pollute the forum, otherwise it will be deleted. Text, ID, thank you for your cooperation! (Super cold!)

26. Late one night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep at night, so I sent a text message to a sister I was sleeping with: "I'm depressed, please chat with me for a while." After a while, sister Reply: "Okay, what do you want to talk about? The topic is up to you!" I thought about it and happily replied: "Then let's talk about a heavier topic, such as your weight!" There was a silence. Afterwards, the sister texted back and wrote: "This is too heavy, so let's talk about something superficial, such as your IQ!!!"

27. Money can't buy it. You can get everything, but you can buy me; violence cannot solve everything, but it can solve you~:)

28. Although I support your right to speak, I do not agree with your views to the death.

29. Medical School GG:

Studying medicine is hard, tiring, and quite expensive; you have to memorize cells and tissues, and you have to know how to dissect and kill people.

With a pen in one hand and a sword in the other, whoever disobeys me will be disabled. Don't be afraid of zombies, don't be afraid of ghosts, it doesn't matter if you see too many dead people.

Sleeping with a corpse for a long night without a wife, eating more human brains can whet your appetite. One day, he went rock climbing alone. When he was about to reach the top, he saw a wolf holding a lighted candle and trying to burn the rope. He had an idea. Just sang Happy Birthday, but the wolf habitually blew out the candles

The bear and the rabbit picked up a bottle in the forest, opened the bottle, and a fairy came out. The fairy said, thank you for letting me go. Come out and I can grant 3 wishes for each of you.

The bear said: I hope there are only female bears in this forest except me. Well, the immortal helped him realize his wish.

The bear said again: No, I hope there are only female bears in the world except me. Well, the immortal helped him realize his wish.

The bear finally said: I hope these female bears love me. Well, the Rishi fulfilled his wish.

Next is the rabbit.

Rabbit said: I want a small motorcycle. The immortal gave the rabbit a motorcycle.

The rabbit said again: I want a helmet. The fairy gave the rabbit a safety hat.

The rabbit finally said: I hope this bear is gay.

City Investigator: Children, do you have any puppies, kittens, rabbits, or birds at home?

Child: No, my mother gave birth to me!

Q: Which animal is the most powerful?

A: Pigs, because pigs are masters in abacus

Q: Which animal is most likely to be stuck on the wall? ?

A: Poster Leopard

Q: What will happen if the fat man falls from the 12th floor?

A: Dead fat man

< p>Q: Who will help you to eat when you are full?

A: The flying dragon, because the flying dragon is feeding in the sky

Q: A puppy in the desert Traveling, he died. How did he die?

A: He suffocated to death because there were no telephone poles to pee in the desert.

Q: A puppy traveled in the desert and found a telephone pole, but still suffocated to death. Why?

A: "No urination allowed here" is posted on the telegraph pole.

Q: A puppy traveled in the desert and found a telegraph pole with nothing posted on it. In the end, I was still suffocated, why?

A: Many puppies were waiting in line and didn’t wait.

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There was nothing attached to it. Even though he was in line, he still suffocated to death. Why?

A: Because there are two beautiful dog girls behind him, he is embarrassed.

The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, not that "More"

"That's it." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there are still none."

"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily: "Yes. Yes, we have a hundred buns today!”

Little White Rabbit took out the money: “Great, I’ll buy two!”

A rabbit! Encounters at the company

First company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not busy.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you can’t do much for the company, that’s why you’re not busy. What does the company want from you?

*The second company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Very busy.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you don’t do things in an organized manner, that’s why you are busy all day long. What does the company want from you?

*The third company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not bad.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you are irrational in doing things, that's why you are "ok" and not "ok". What does the company want from you?

*The fourth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I just finished my work.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because your work efficiency is too low, can’t you just check it after you finish it? What does the company want from you?

*The fifth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished some of them and checked them, and now I am doing other things.

When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you lack a systematic way of doing things, why don’t you do some things together? What does the company want from you?

*The sixth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished my work and am helping others. When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you have no plan for doing things, don’t you plan what you want to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?

*The seventh company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Today’s work is done, so is tomorrow’s work. When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you don’t consider the overall situation when doing things, won’t you help your colleagues share their worries? What does the company want from you?

*The Eighth Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I’ve finished today’s and tomorrow’s work, now I’m helping my colleagues.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you?

*The Ninth Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Wait a moment, I will think about it before answering you.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: You are arrogant and you kept trying to frustrate me when I asked you questions. What does the company want from you?

*The Tenth Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I...I...don't know...how to answer you.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you don’t even know if you are busy or not, what use does the company need from you?

*The Eleventh Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Damn it, I resigned~~~~~~~~~~

Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company will not let you go!

A man went to the river to fish. He first pierced a leaf, but no fish took the bait for a long time. He changed it to a piece of bread, but no fish took the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to exchange for earthworms, but still no fish took the bait for a long time...

In anger, he took out 100rmb! Fell into the water!

tnnd~~What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself! !

There was an old lady who stopped a bus in front of the bus stop.

As soon as the car door opened, grandma asked the driver: Driver! Have you ever been to Xingtian Palace?

The driver replied: Yes!

At this time, grandma did not get in the car, she just nodded, replied "Oh", and continued to move forward.

The driver felt strange, I have already answered you, why don’t you get in the car?

The driver was considerate of the grandma’s age, so he followed her and slowly drove the car forward without closing the door.

Driver: I went to Xingtian Palace!

Grandma: Oh!

Driver: It’s true!

Grandma: Oh!

Driver: I’m really here!

At this time, grandma said impatiently: I know! I'm not going until tomorrow!

“I can’t see things that are too far away,” the patient said to the ophthalmologist.

"Please come with me." The doctor took the patient outside, pointed at the sun in the sky, and asked, "What do you think that is?"

"The sun", the patient answered.

"Then how far do you want to see!"

Teacher: To be honest, do you smoke?

Boy a: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: Don’t smoke? Well, let's eat some root fries.

Boy a naturally stretched out his two fingers and took it...

Teacher: Don’t suck? ! Call parents...

[Scenario 2]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy b: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: Don’t smoke? Well, let's eat some root fries.

b Because he heard about a, he took the fries very carefully with his palm.

Teacher: Why don’t you dip it in ketchup?

b I accidentally dipped too much, so I immediately flicked it with my fingers...

Teacher: You are very skilled in flicking the ash. Call parents...

[Scene 3]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy c: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: If you don’t want to smoke, okay, let’s eat some French fries.

c Because of the previous two examples, I finished eating the French fries very carefully and sweating.

Teacher: Why don’t you take the roots back to your classmates?

c After taking the fries, he easily clamped it on his ears...

Teacher: Don’t want to suck it? Call parents...

[Scene 4]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy d: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: Very good, let’s eat some French fries.

d finished the fries with fear.

Teacher: Why don’t you take the roots back to your classmates?

d carefully put the chips into his coat pocket.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The principal is here!

d quickly took out the chips from his pocket and threw them on the ground, stamping them hard with his feet...

Teacher: Don’t suck? ! Call parents...

[Scene 5]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy e: No,

Teacher: Very good, let’s eat some French fries.

e Just took the fries, and the teacher said: Won’t you treat me to some?

e quickly handed over the fries with both hands, and then took out the lighter...

Teacher: Don’t smoke? ! Call parents...

[Scene 6]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boys f: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: Very good, let’s eat some French fries.

f Finished eating with fear.

Teacher: Suddenly shouted: The principal is here!

f His palms were sweating, but he still lowered his head calmly and said: Hello, principal!

Teacher: The principal will smell your mouth.

f took out French fries: No, it’s still here, the fire hasn’t started yet...

[Scene 7]

Teacher: What the hell are you doing? Do you smoke or not?

Boy g: Promise to God, I will never smoke.

Teacher: Really don’t smoke? OK, let's eat some root fries.

g took the French fries very naturally and ate them all.

Teacher: What a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like?

g (getting carried away): Greater China...

[Scene 8]

Teacher: Let’s eat French fries.

Boy n: Thank you, no.

Teacher:……``