Want some short super funny jokes, the more the better.

I'm five years old and I can't speak yet. One day, his mother asked him to learn to speak outside, and Xiao Ming went out.

The first place he went to, he saw a house collapse, and a man shouted over there:

"The building collapsed! The building collapsed! " Xiao Ming will remember it.

In the second place he went, he saw two people fighting. Xiaoming is five years old and can't speak yet. One day, his mother asked him to learn to speak outside, and Xiao Ming went out.

The first place he went to, he saw a house collapse, and a man shouted over there:

"The building collapsed! The building collapsed! "

Xiao Ming will remember it.

The second place he went to, he saw two people fighting. One of them said, "Come if you dare!" "

Xiao Ming remembered again.

In the third place he went, he saw a child beating his grandfather. Grandpa said, "If you hit him again, he won't give you candy!" " "

Xiao Ming remembered again.

When he got home, his mother asked him, "Xiaoming, what words did you learn?" ! "

Xiao Ming said, "The building collapsed! The building collapsed! "

Mom hurried downstairs, and when she saw it, the building didn't collapse.

Mom came into the room and said, smelly boy, how dare you lie to mom! I want to hit you. "

Little Ming Dow: "Dead boy, come and fight if you dare!" "

Mom hit Xiaoming.

Xiao Ming said, "If you hit Grandpa again, Grandpa won't give you candy!" " "

Mom is dizzy!

In the animal court, the lion judge is trying three ducks.

The lion asked the first lion, "What's your name?" Huahua: "My name is Huahua" Lion: "Why were you brought here?" Huahua: "I play with blisters when I swim." Judge lion thought there was nothing wrong and let it go.

The lion asked the second lion, "What's your name?" Mao Mao: "My name is Mao Mao" Lion: "Why were you brought here?" Mao Mao: "I play with blisters when I swim." The lion thought about it and let it go.

The lion asked the third duck with a black face, "What's your name?" The duck said, "My name is Paopao."

Xiaoming is famous for not being able to write a composition at school. The teacher always asks him to write a 400-word composition. Once the teacher read his composition and almost threw up.

The composition is written like this:

I went to play with my friends today, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy.

So happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy. The teacher added a sentence at the back: there are four words left. Xiao Ming added: I am so happy.

Later, the teacher scolded Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming became smart. Only you can skip 400 words this time. The composition is written like this:

I was in a good mood when my mother took me to play the day before yesterday, and I was in a good mood yesterday. It's good to remember that my mother took me to play yesterday.

Teacher: "I have two questions. If you can answer the first question, you don't need to answer the second one. "

"How many hairs do you have?" The teacher asked.

"1.200 million." The students answered.

"How do you know?" The teacher asked.

"There is no need to answer the second question." The student said.

One day Xiaoming cried and said to his mother, "Mom, my little turtle is dead."

Mom said, "I obviously don't cry." Mom will take you to buy your favorite ice cream, then take you to buy your favorite toy dog, and then hold a small funeral for the little turtle. "

Xiao Ming turned grief into joy and said, "Thank you, Mom."

At this time, my mother saw the little turtle move and said, "obviously your little turtle is not dead!" " "

Xiaoming burst into tears and said, "Mom, can I kill it?"

One of them said, "Fight if you dare, dead boy!" " "

Xiao Ming remembered again.

In the third place he went, he saw a child beating his grandfather. Grandpa said, "if you hit grandpa again, he won't give you candy!" " "

Xiao Ming remembered again.

When he got home, his mother asked him, "Xiaoming, what words did you learn?" ! "

Xiao Ming said, "The building collapsed! The building collapsed! "

Mom hurried downstairs, and when she saw it, the building didn't collapse.

Mom came into the room and said, smelly boy, how dare you lie to mom! I want to hit you. "

Little Ming Dow: "Dead boy, come and fight if you dare!" "

Mom hit Xiaoming.

Xiao Ming said, "If you hit Grandpa again, Grandpa won't give you candy!" " "

Mom is dizzy!

In the animal court, the lion judge is trying three ducks.

The lion asked the first lion, "What's your name?" Huahua: "My name is Huahua" Lion: "Why were you brought here?" Huahua: "I play with blisters when I swim." Judge lion thought there was nothing wrong and let it go.

The lion asked the second lion, "What's your name?" Mao Mao: "My name is Mao Mao" Lion: "Why were you brought here?" Mao Mao: "I play with blisters when I swim." The lion thought about it and let it go.

The lion asked the third duck with a black face, "What's your name?" The duck said, "My name is Paopao."

Xiaoming is famous for not being able to write a composition at school. The teacher always asks him to write a 400-word composition. Once the teacher read his composition and almost threw up.

The composition is written like this:

I went to play with my friends today, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy.

So happy, so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy. The teacher added a sentence at the back: there are four words left. Xiao Ming added: I am so happy.

Later, the teacher scolded Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming became smart. Only you can skip 400 words this time. The composition is written like this:

I was in a good mood when my mother took me to play the day before yesterday, and I was in a good mood yesterday. It's good to remember that my mother took me to play yesterday.

Teacher: "I have two questions. If you can answer the first question, you don't need to answer the second one. "

"How many hairs do you have?" The teacher asked.

"1.200 million." The students answered.

"How do you know?" The teacher asked.

"There is no need to answer the second question." The student said.

One day Xiaoming cried and said to his mother, "Mom, my little turtle is dead."

Mom said, "I obviously don't cry." Mom will take you to buy your favorite ice cream, then take you to buy your favorite toy dog, and then hold a small funeral for the little turtle. "

Xiao Ming turned grief into joy and said, "Thank you, Mom."

At this time, my mother saw the little turtle move and said, "obviously your little turtle is not dead!" " "

Xiaoming burst into tears and said, "Mom, can I kill it?"