Why do people grow up and have fewer friends?

Some time ago, Teacher Gulangwa wrote an article "How to make friends after 30 years old", which deeply touched me. Before that, I always wanted to write an article, "It was not loneliness that chose us, but we chose loneliness", but because the title was too elegant, I kept it there. In fact, loneliness has always been an eternal topic in life. The way to overcome loneliness when we are young is to make friends, read books and enrich ourselves. But the older you get, the more rational you are, and you will gradually find a way to get along with loneliness. Introspection is the fastest springboard for self-growth. And self-thinking really needs to leave the hustle and bustle for a while. When people become adults, their communication patterns will change. Especially after the age of 30, there will be few friends who don't mix interests, and there will be fewer and fewer opportunities to meet strangers without purpose. It's not that people become powerful, but that work will inevitably penetrate into your life when you grow up. Those customers' communication, resource docking and even private parties are inevitably accompanied by certain work and social factors. I often appeal to young people to keep some hobbies, such as playing ball, drinking tea, swimming, fitness, mountain climbing and cross-country. These things from the perspective of interest may sometimes become a channel for you to make friends with strangers. Of course, everyone's growth status is different, but most of the paths will have similarities. We have all experienced maladjustment, rejection, comfort, addiction but easy self-loathing, and finally came back.

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Once a boy talked to me about his recent depression. He said that he always felt lonely, but there were obviously many friends gathered around him, but he felt that there was no one to talk to. He felt that the three views were consistent and it was best to give him guidance. I quite understand. Because there was a time when I worked in the market, there were endless wine bureau dinners, endless jokes and endless dirty jokes, but every time I got on the bus, I immediately calmed down and didn't want to say a word. I don't think I toasted myself in that bar, but I can't deny that I am adapting to this social law. The emptiness and loneliness exposed behind the excitement once led me astray. For example, I used to be impetuous and anxious, and I couldn't listen patiently at all. I was even particularly impatient for a while, seemingly efficient and resolute, but in fact it was more arrogance and insoluble hostility. At that stage, I felt I couldn't chat with stupid people. I have been talking about efficiency in QQ and MSN. I hate small talk and feel bored. I met one supplier after another, and I thought I was furious. I only have five minutes to listen to your report. Get rid of those gaudy things and talk about your own ideas directly! I was very nervous during that time, but I was very unhappy. I use busy tasks to make myself feel full. I was absolutely strong when I answered the phone, and extremely tired when I put it down. During that time, my life was very unhappy. I am not proud in the workplace, but I frequently feel great pressure and frustration in love because my patience is getting worse and worse. I'm like a ticking time bomb. Now think about it, that kind of aggressive gas field is really enough to drive everyone away. During that time, my emotional management was almost negative. I'm too busy to contact my friends, so I'm in a hurry to communicate with my relatives. What impressed me the most was that my cousin in my hometown kept asking me about the compensation for rural land occupation on QQ. I showed him the relevant laws and regulations, but he kept asking, for example, how much fruit trees did he occupy? How much did it cost to occupy the greenhouse? How much is it in the pigsty? That annoying questioning made me collapse at that moment. I almost replied maliciously, you only saw me as if I were in the spring breeze in a big city, and you had no idea how late I worked overtime every day and what kind of dog I was tired! You don't understand this land occupation problem, and neither do I. It's not that I know everything after reading more than you for a few years! I'm still catching up on a PPT to report tomorrow, and that's all I can do for you. Please help yourself. I still remember my cousin stopped there for more than ten minutes before he said slowly, brother, I'll go and have a look by myself, which has caused you trouble. My cousin, we played together from the age of four to adulthood, and spent every winter and summer vacation together before high school. We stole eggs together and fished in the river together. He witnessed me being admitted to college, and I watched him get married and start a family. The little friend who played together for so many years broke his string here because of my own collapse.

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We, in the end, grow into people they don't know. If you say that as you grow up, your communication pattern may hurt a group of people and lose a group of people, then there is another kind of friend that is the result of natural loss and elimination. Just like those old friends in high school group, junior high school group and even college group. Some time ago, several girls who were mothers in our college talked about the second child. One of them just mentioned me, saying why I haven't seen Sun Wa. I said that we both have our own plans, and my biggest goal this year is to finish graduate school first.

Then a few girls instantly became your most annoying seven aunts and eight aunts, and they all appeared. I tell you, it will be too late if you don't appear! Look, my family gave birth to two! I'm going to have triplets, too. Barabara and the girl I had the best relationship with were the most energetic. But doesn't she hate people who force her to find someone to marry? I have to make it clear again that I think living is to meet someone, which is my own business. Only I know if I'm comfortable, right! I have my own plan, and I can be responsible for my life. As a result, the girl still persisted and even moved out. You will regret it when you get old. I also care about you and many other gods. I almost blurted out, join the square dance team! Not everyone has to live like you, this is life! Finally put up with it.

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Growth is a process of gradual loss. We will lose a group of friends because of the way we communicate. You will lose another batch because your three views are inconsistent with your pursuit. Our customers, partners and mentors may be filled in the back, but not necessarily friends. It's not that we no longer trust anyone, maybe it's because we believe in ourselves more and more. The older you get, the less you need to rely on others. You will become confident, independent and have your own judgment. You won't depend on anyone as before, and you want to be influenced by others. You will gradually understand that being friends, sometimes, will be happier. It is said that when you start to miss the past, you will be old. I don't like nostalgia, especially those people I met when I was young. I think it's a pity to miss it. I don't like to miss my trusting self. I don't think it's for the benefit, and the time to meet a netizen will never come again. Now I am more willing to accept it. Every age group will have its own growth state, whether it is impetuous or quick success. This is a course of life. Some people survived and came out. Some people can't get over it, and maybe they will be immersed in it all their lives. The ultimate reason for making friends is attraction. Without mutual attraction and wisdom, it is quite boring to chew on past memories. Be curious about the unknown, be sensitive to new things, and always remind yourself to try. Such a person will not lack friends. What is lost has its own reasons. You must get a special gift. If you don't love youth, cherish youth and enjoy loneliness, you can live a quiet life.