Wechat shares the funny highlights of life-shake it and make a joke.

Wechat shares the funny highlights of life-shake it and make a joke.

Wechat shares the funny highlights of life-shake it and make a joke.

◆ The girlfriend of the fat woman rushed down the stairs and yelled at me: "I think I am fat! All right! I'm leaving! I'm never coming back! I will never see you again in my life! " I replied, "You will probably see me again. I work in Pizza Hut. " @tdfboy

□ Just now WeChat shook, and a buddy added my friend. I was shocked and thought I was gay. Then I asked him what it was. He said: women can't shake. She always shakes you. If you add it, you won't shake it again.

◆ In winter in Beijing, I ordered a breakfast at a roadside shop. After drinking a hot drink, all the cells in my body seem to be activated by the warm current. I can't help praising: "I didn't expect your shop to be small, but the coffee is quite distinctive!" " "This is milk, sir," the waiter said, patting the dust on his shoulder. Uncle chunliang

Just graduated that summer, a buddy bought a second-hand bike and invited us to go for a ride. It's too hot to stand on the bus, so let him turn on the air conditioner. He said that the air conditioner was broken, so we wanted to open the window, but he stopped us and said that we wouldn't open the window, and others didn't know that our air conditioner was broken. ...

I finally gave up smoking. Let's have a cigarette to celebrate.

I met a beggar while waiting for the bus at the station. He has a piece of paper in his hand, which says: I am deaf and dumb, please give me some charity. I wondered if he was a liar, so I said, sorry, I can't read. Then he began to talk: Brother, my wallet was stolen and I have no money to buy a ticket home. Please lend me some money. I'm surprised: aren't you deaf? ! He was also surprised: can't you read?

◆ "Do you think there are many mosquitoes in Tibet Plateau?" "There should be very few!" "Why?" "Because people who have been there say it itches ..."

-friends live in funeral homes, bored in the middle of the night. He used WeChat to find someone nearby, found a girl and sent her a message immediately. After a long time, I received a reply from the other party: Big Brother, can you burn me an iphone5? I like white! Thank you, good people. Have a safe life!

◆ My cousin just opened WeChat and was busy adding friends. I asked, "Did you find me?" "no"! -"You found me!" -no! ..... I took a look at his mobile phone and scolded him: Damn it, smelly boy, don't just search for women!

□ "Start my letter life"-this is the best product advertisement of Tencent I have ever seen.

◆ One day, a woman was added to WeChat. She said that she lived in America and would return to China soon. She has never been to China, so she is very excited. A mouthful of English words matches a lot of Chinese. How I want to say to her in standard Mandarin: Sister, I added you by searching for people nearby.

My dad took me out to ride an electric car. At the red light, I grabbed my dad's clothes with both hands and dragged them backwards, and then my dad hit me. . . . . . I don't just gently shouted "Yu ..."

Li Bai didn't like studying when he was a child. One day, he saw an old woman by the river, ready to grind the iron pestle into an embroidery needle. Li Bai smiled and said, How long will it take to grind? Grandma said seriously: if one day doesn't work, I will grind it for two days. If two days doesn't work, I will grind it for three days. As long as I persist, I will always succeed. Li Bai was ashamed and began to study hard. Because he deeply realized that if he didn't study, he would be as stupid as that old woman. @ Dongtu Datang Sanvulgar Monk

-In the boys' dormitory, a buddy sleepwalked in the middle of the night and woke up the whole dormitory. When I got up and turned on the light, my sleepwalking buddy kept walking back and forth in the dormitory with a quilt. Everyone looked at each other and didn't dare to wake him up directly, so another buddy crept up behind him and pulled off the quilt. "I thought he would go back to sleep as soon as he felt cold." Then, the sleepwalker turned beautifully and shouted, "Brother, why did you take my cassock!" "

◆ A sister-in-law got two concert tickets and wanted to surprise her boyfriend, so she called him: Dear! I have good news for you! My boyfriend is in the dormitory. He is very excited and asks, "Say it quickly! What good news? " Before my sister's paper was opened, I heard a bunch of idiots in my boyfriend's dormitory shouting neatly: pregnant, pregnant, pregnant!

□ WeChat added a new girl. After chatting for a long time, one day my girl sent me a series of numbers: 01000011001. Then I stopped talking. When I was puzzled to ask for help, a classmate at the university gave a reply: 4 19! Tears, go back and learn computer again!

I saw a woman in the street and successfully converted the measured value into two dimensions.

Coupled with the black and white plaid dress she wears, it is really a living WeChat QR code!

Yesterday, I went to the development zone by car, and a beautiful woman from Lu Yu drove by. I took out my mobile phone and logged into WeChat at a speed of zero seconds to find friends nearby! But I didn't find any hair! The sadness in my heart is incomparable. It is said that the scope of WeChat is 6 kilometers! It's a complete blow to me!

But in my sad moment. Suddenly I received a short message from a male compatriot and wrote six words, (We are dating! )

An old horse traveled to the forest, and the scenery on the way was fascinating. It gradually went deep into the forest and realized that it was lost. The old horse was very anxious and shouted for help. At this moment, an old goat appeared. The goat asked the old horse, "As the saying goes, the old horse knows the way, how can you get lost?" The old horse sighed and replied, "In order to have a healthy mentality, I always keep a childlike innocence!" " "

(The joke is very funny)