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Who will tell me some classic jokes?

1. One day, Mung Bean committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, bled a lot and became a red bean. It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.

2. There is a man who looks like an onion, crying while walking.

3. One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

4. Q: Two people fell into the trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living?

A: Call for help!

A banana gentleman is dating his girlfriend and walking down the street. It was very hot, so Mr banana took off his clothes, and then his girlfriend fell down. ...

6、

The diver's movements are difficult. He turned three times, then somersaulted forward for three and a half times, and then somersaulted backward for a month.

I used to have schizophrenia, but now we have recovered.

Xiao Ming cut his hair and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head is a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew away ...

9. A customer (old lady) went to the counter to deposit money. I asked her: Do you have a time deposit or a current deposit? She said calmly, I saved one dead, one alive and one dead. At that time, everyone froze for a few seconds and laughed.