A joke about how to make old people happy.

Question 1: A joke that can make old people happy 1 A poor man was dreaming when he was suddenly awakened by an unexpected guest. The robber pointed a gun at him and said, "Don't move! I'm just looking for a change. If you move, you will die soon! " The poor man said with a wry smile, "I won't move." I just remembered to ask you for money. "

One day, the mob boss asked a man, "How much is 1 plus 1?" The man's answer was equal to 2, so the gangster killed him.

Say, "You know too much."

There are two cows grazing on the grass. One of them said to the other, "Hey, what's the smell of your grass?" The other bull said "strawberry flavor" without looking up. Niu Yi leaned in and took a bite, and then said angrily, "Hum, you lied to me!" " The other cow said impatiently, "Please, I told you that grass is tasteless … how stupid!" " "

There is a lady who wants to get married online, and his marriage requirements are very high. So she searched the website "handsome with a car" and gave the answer:' chess (is it handsome with a car? If this lady doesn't give up, she is laying the foundation: "Be calm and feel safe". Search the website and give the answer: "Altman (cool, safe! The lady is still lying down: "If you want a house, you need money. "Search the website and give the answer:' Bank (with room and money! The lady didn't believe that she couldn't find a man, so she entered all the previous conditions into the website search: "Be handsome, want a car, be cool, feel safe, have a house and be rich." The website searched for a while and finally gave the answer: "Altman plays chess in the bank!" " The lady fainted after reading it!

"I hope to bring happiness to the elderly! 」

Question 2: Jokes that amuse the elderly. . It is said that on a dark night, on the longest and scariest road, a taxi driver drove there and a woman waved to get on the bus by the roadside. [Transferred from bbs.tiexue/, the Iron Blood Community] It was quiet all the way until the woman spoke. She said to the driver, "Apples are delicious for you …" The driver thought it was great, so he took it and took a bite. The woman asked, "Is it delicious?" The driver said, "Delicious!" The woman replied, "I remember I liked eating apples before my death ..." Wow ... When the driver heard this, he suddenly braked in fear and turned pale ... [From a bloody community in bbs.tiexue/,] I saw the woman slowly tilt her head to the front and said to the driver, "But I don't like eating after giving birth! ……"

Question 3: Jokes that amuse old people. . Everyone wants to change money.

A poor man was awakened by an intruder in his dream. The robber pointed a gun at him and said, "Don't move! I'm just looking for a change. If you move, you will die soon! "

The poor man said with a wry smile, "I won't move." I just remembered to ask you for money. "

Question 4: How to make the elderly happy? It is far better to stay with them, always care about them, be considerate and filial, and call them more when you have no time to accompany them than to give them money.

Question 5: How to make the elderly happy How to make the elderly happy Go and have dinner with them when you are free. You don't need a big dish. Just light. Simple. Stay at home. You will still be happy to have dinner with them. Because they will be afraid that we will not have enough to eat. Always put food in our bowl. Seeing them like this. Good friends all like it.

Give them a call when you are free. The familiar voice over there warms your heart. It is always necessary. It's cold, remember to put on more clothes. Don't be hungry. These simple and warm words. In fact, they are all thinking about us. I hope we will know how to take care of ourselves.

Chat with them often. We can learn a lot. Because their stories are all social experiences. Even a little worldly. I saw them go back to her old days. Work. Emotion. You will find it very interesting. It turns out. Being a listener will often understand the mood and feelings at that time better than the narrator.

Take them out for some fresh air. Sometimes they get old. People are also lazy. I don't want to walk around anymore. We should invite them voluntarily. Actually, as soon as we bring it up. They are happy to go out with us. Because they always think of us.

If you meet something that suits them, buy it for them. Because she is reluctant to buy something for herself. They always say they can buy whatever they like. We are getting old. No need. Usually they are the people who need it most. They also need love. Then meet the right one for them and buy it.

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Matters needing attention

Don't tell them unhappy things.

Don't take them to dangerous places.

Question 6: How to make the elderly happy? What is the old man interested in? Tell interesting things that happened at school and tell some jokes. You must be a very filial child. How about cooking something grandma likes to eat?

Question 7: How to make the elderly happy? There are many kinds of interactive old people, depending on your relationship. Many people know old people.

Just do what you like. For example, old people like to walk, you can walk with them, like to play chess, and you can play chess together.

Like delicious food, prepare delicious food for the elderly.

Question 8: Humorous jokes make girls happy. Butterfly says to bees: You are so stingy, but you are full of sweet words, but you won't give me a word. The bee said: Hum, you are talking about me. You have two antennas on your head. Why didn't you text me? 2. A woman cried to a friend: After her husband died, she only left me 30 million! The friend was surprised: should you be happy? The woman explained that 30 million yuan is: never take good care of children/never be filial to parents/never remarry. In the interrogation room, pol.ice asked: Why did you escape from prison? A: I found a peach and thought that heaven was hinting at me to escape. Q: Then why were you arrested again? I was too careless to notice that the peach was white! Beautiful factory My family's salary will never increase. It's really bad. The most beautiful thing every day is lard residue, no fish, no meat, no shrimp, no oil, no salt and more sand. I miss my mother in the middle of the night, and tears welled up. The old reporter asked the soldiers, what motivates you to be so brave? The third-class hero said: Fight for the motherland! Second-class hero: They have occupied our house and women! First-class hero: the company commander issued a bulletproof vest, only to know that it was a cotton-padded jacket afterwards. 6. Bears go up the mountain to exercise every day. One day, the tortoise wants to go up the mountain, too. The bear said, you put your four legs in, and I will catch up with you. Up to the top of the mountain, a bird in the tree laughed wildly: Look at your bear-like appearance and flip phone! 7. Nine out of ten households in a residential area are equipped with security doors, but only one household is not. One day, nine families were stolen together. Only the thief on the door without the security door wrote: don't worry about me, I will worry about you! 8. I like to get to the bottom of it since I was a child. I want to be a detective when I grow up. Now I am the editor-in-chief of a newspaper. What about you? ""I like playing since I was a child. When I grow up, I want to go shopping with a lot of money. Now I am a bus conductor. "9. After the two mice got married, the mother mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he went to the door to learn to meow. Instead of being afraid, his wife said softly, Mao Ge, stop screaming. My husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet. 10. A cockroach borrows money from a spider, and the spider is in a dilemma: as you know, the net is not dry yet, and it is full of bubbles. You might as well find flies and mosquitoes. They filmed it last year. What happened? Do you want to go to the hospital?

You: Yes, I did. Girl: What did the doctor say? You: The doctor looked me up and down for 5 minutes, and only one word was written on the diagnosis. Girl: What? You: handsome!

At this time, most girls will laugh that you are narcissistic and disgusting. Try it if you don't believe me. )

You'd better buy a joke book and memorize it.

Question 9: How to make the elderly happy? Five points. Don't mention previous conflicts or unhappiness. Control your emotions. Sometimes old people are lonely, so spend more time with them. Amiable, approachable, always with a smile on his face, let the elderly feel your intimacy. When chatting, choose topics that the elderly like and respect their habits: don't tamper with the furnishings and other items in the elderly room. The most important thing is to be sincere and treat each other sincerely.

Question 10: a little joke that makes girls happy. Mother told Pippi to get up: "Get up quickly! The rooster has crowed several times! " Pippi said, "What does cock crow have to do with me? I am not a hen! "

Dad told his daughter that she was often hungry when she was a child. After hearing this, the daughter had tears in her eyes and asked sympathetically, "Oh, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?"

Tong Tong asked his mother, "Why do you call Mr. Jiang your ancestor?" Mother said, "Because ancestors are the names of the dead." Tong Tong said: "Will those dead grandmothers be called' fresh milk'?"

4. My mother often tells Xiaomei, "Don't sway when wearing a skirt, or the little boy will see the little girl inside!" One day, Xiaomei said happily to her mother, "Mom, I played on the swing with Xiaoming today, and I won!" " "Mother said angrily," didn't I tell you? Don't put on a skirt! " Xiaomei said proudly, "But I'm so smart! I took off my little * * * so that he couldn't see my little * * *! "

5. My daughter is curious about her navel and asks her father. Dad briefly talked about the reason why the umbilical cord connects the fetus and the mother. He said that after the baby left his mother, the doctor cut the umbilical cord and tied a knot, which later became the navel. The daughter said, why doesn't the doctor tie a bow?

6. One day, Xiaoming and his father went out to play. When it was time for dinner, his father took him to the door of a small restaurant. Xiaoming won't go in anyway. His father asked him why. Xiaoming pointed to the sign in front of the restaurant and said, "I don't want to eat urine fried rice-". The original sign said "Fried light rice."

7. Father: Pierre, don't go to school today. Your mother gave birth to two little brothers for you last night. Just tell the teacher. Pierre: Dad, I only said that I gave birth to one. I want to save the other one for next week when I don't want to go to school.

8. Buck's father is sitting on a park bench to have a rest. A child stood by him for a long time and never left. Buck was very surprised and asked, "Angel, why do you always stand here?" The child said, "This stool has just been painted. I want to see what you look like when you stand up. "

9. One day after school, a little boy asked his mother, "Mom, where am I from?" Mother thinks this question is not easy to answer, but she should take this opportunity to educate her children, taking cats and dogs as examples, and seriously talk about the reproductive process. After listening to this, the son said doubtfully, "How did this happen? My deskmate said that he is from Shanxi! "

10, a classmate always uses other people's toilet paper when going to the toilet, and never buys it himself. Once, someone saw him holding paper and said angrily, "why do you always use other people's toilet paper?" Won't you buy it yourself? " He said, "Why are you so stingy? It's just a little toilet paper. I'll pay you back when I run out! "

Mom: Pierre, do you want some cookies? Pierre didn't respond. His mother asked, Pierre, do you want a biscuit? Pierre said, Yes, Mom. Mom said: Why should I ask you twice? Pierre: Because I want to eat two tablets.