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Who can tell me a joke about mental illness?
Jokes about mental illness
Complete works of jokes in mental hospital (full version)
( 1)
A patient came to see a psychiatrist.
Patient: I always thought I was a bird.
Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start?
Patient: Because I am a bird.
(2)
A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient, What would you do if I cut off one of your ears?
The patient replied, then I can't hear you.
The doctor listened: mm-hmm. This is normal.
The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again?
The patient replied, then I won't watch it.
The doctor began to get nervous: how could it not be seen?
The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off.
(3)
Two mental patients escaped from the hospital.
They ran and climbed a tree.
One of them jumped from the tree and rolled and rolled.
Then he looked up and said to the man above, Hey … Why don't you come down …?
The man above answered him: No ... OK ... Ah. ...
I'm not familiar with it ...
(4)
There is an old lady in a mental hospital, who wears black clothes and holds a black umbrella every day and squats in a mental hospital.
At the gate of the yard.
The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.
So the doctor also wore black clothes, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.
The two men were silent for a month.
The old lady finally said to the doctor, I'm sorry. ...
Are you a mushroom, too
(5)
A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called a meeting of the patients in the hospital at the meeting.
The dean said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and all the people will meet them at the door. Zaihuan
When greeting, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. As soon as I cough, everyone plays drums together.
Palm, the warmer the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready,
We can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, everyone has no buns to eat. Remember.
have you finished? "The patients in the audience shouted together:" Remember! "
This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the popular patient was already standing at the door.
At that time, with the cough of the hospital dean, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. Visiting leaders
Infected by the warm atmosphere and with a smile on his face, he applauded and walked into the hospital with everyone. See the leader has entered the doctor.
When the hospital director stamped his foot, all the applause stopped and it was neat. Only this leader is still playing drums with a smile.
The dean felt very satisfied when he walked forward. Suddenly, a disease as strong as Schwarzenegger emerged from the welcome crowd.
People, strode to the front of the leadership, picking up Yuan gave him a big box on the ear and shouted angrily-"Don't think about it!
Eat steamed stuffed bun
Son? ! ! ! "
(6)
Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office and went back to the ward. Q B: "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?" ?
B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. However, there are just a few more roles. "
Then the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" " "
(8)
Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time, and their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you
One person is ill, and the other person takes him to the hospital at once. "
Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Oh, no, Mr. B started this morning."
Started crawling in my toilet, not that he was my toilet. "
"Quick, send him here quickly!"
A gentleman was silent for a moment: "So … I don't have a toilet?"
(9)
In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.
One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"
The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? "
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