30 jokes that make you laugh.

1, the male and female toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who?" . The boy next door replied with a deep and powerful voice: "Lei Feng."

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

3. In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class fell down.

4, a person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say: Can you keep quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him what he was doing, and he replied, I am tuned to vibration now.

5. When someone is riding a bike, he hears passers-by shout: Go, go, go? I think, damn it, I can sing: Ole Ole? He agreed and plunged into the ditch. Passers-by scolded: Shit! Let me tell you something, Gou Gou, do you still ride horses? ! You deserve to fall to death! ;

6, carp and tortoise to get a marriage certificate. The clerk asked how old the tortoise was, and the tortoise said: 100. The clerk said regretfully, I'm sorry, according to your family rules, you are underage and are not allowed to get married.

7. A couple came to the wishing pool. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "What a fucking spirit!" " -

8. A couple are fishing by the river. The lady always quarreled, and after a while the fish took the bait. The lady said, this fish is really poor. The husband said, yes, just shut up.

9. The science teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again, "Nobody knows?" At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said, "That's because it's calm and naturally cold."

10, spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. The spider roared, "Why? Why is this? " The ant said timidly, "My mother said that people who surf the Internet all day are not good people!" " "

1 1. That year, the head teacher said to us, "Actually, I don't object to your falling in love, but you should remember to find a responsible person. What's the use of those who let go of your hand as soon as they see the teacher? " There has been no puppy love in our class since then!

12, playing games with a hot-charged mobile phone, regardless of life and death, this is a rare heroic moment in my life.

13, don't panic if life is not satisfactory. Looking at my wallet and savings, I cried.

14, one day I went to my mother's room to play and came across a diary about my birth. I opened it and saw eight words written on it, "extremely ugly and unacceptable."

15, daily eating status: I enjoy it in my mouth, but I want to be thin in my heart.

16, why do you remind me that money is not everything? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, but I don't expect it to do everything.

17, my mother looked at a relative's beautiful daughter and said to me, it looks like she's done it, but it looks like you've been sitting on it!

18, on the way home, I saw many takeaway brothers rushing to deliver food, and suddenly felt very inspirational. Everyone else delivers food so late, so why don't I eat?

19. How fragile is my relationship with my boyfriend? As long as I take off my makeup, maybe he will never want to see me again in his life.

20. Why do you propose on one knee? God replied: kneeling is the grave.

2 1, I went from nothing to assets of over 100 million, from being surrounded by my family to luxury villas. I didn't rely on others, I came up with it bit by bit.

22. If you can only choose one person and your favorite food, how can you choose food? Eating food: eating people you like.

23. Why do you remind me that "money is not everything"? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, but I don't expect it to do everything.

24. Don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, others envy you for having a good stomach, you envy others for being rich, and others envy no one to borrow money from you.

25. After the English listening test, I understood a truth: some words are only for people who understand.

26, through the palm print, you can see the girlfriend's personality. If her palm prints often appear on your face, it means that she has a bad temper.

27. My wife is a very reasonable person. She will ask my permission before hitting me. If I say no, she will argue until I agree.

28, people who love to laugh will not be too bad luck. To tell the truth, if a person is unlucky, I don't know how he can laugh.

29. If the whole world doesn't want you, remember to come to me. I know several traffickers.

30. When I hate someone, if this person suddenly says that he likes me, then I don't hate each other at all. It's so principled. You can't hate a man with vision.