I want to leave everything and go wandering

During the Chinese New Year, my father renovated and cleaned up the study room at home. He found a book with many pink princess stickers on it and asked me what it was.

I opened this unimpressive book and saw childish words, probably from the second or third grade of elementary school.

I turned over it, looked at it, and smiled.

On a certain page, there was a sentence written in highlighter: "I will go to Tibet with my father in the future."

This is the "ten years" that I have been telling as a joke for a long time. Promise."

In fact, my father promised to take me to Tibet, but it took ten years to fulfill it in the summer of 2019.

I haven’t climbed Mount Everest, nor have I seen the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain. Basically, I only looked around a few holy lakes. It was beautiful, but there were regrets.

After I come back, I always tell my best friend: "I must come here with the person I like in the future."

Go to the place closest to heaven with the person you like, "Wandering" ," This is the most romantic thing in my heart.

In fact, many people have this kind of yearning. Even my best friend, who usually likes dancing and drinking, said after listening to my words: "You think I don't want to."< /p>

But, few people can be so free and easy.

We are always trapped, by money, responsibilities, pressure, etc.

Sad, but true.

My father and I yearned so much to go to Tibet, but there were more than a dozen of us in our family, and the first place we went to was Beijing.

It was the second year after my grandpa passed away. Everyone regretted not taking him to Beijing before, so that year more than a dozen of us took grandma with us.

My mother was responsible for most of the expenses for this trip. She said it was okay to spend money on family members. I asked innocently: You finally have time, why don't you take me to Tibet?

When you have time, you don’t have money; when you have money, you don’t have time. This is what my dad always says.

It took many years before my father told me how sorry he felt for my grandfather, and I naturally understood.

Adults are all responsible for their actions. Even if they go out to play, they may not go to the place they most want to go.

After I finished the college entrance examination, I asked my father why he only had me as his daughter and didn’t plan to give me another brother or something.

He said: Why bother, it’s so tiring. When I retire, I might as well find a place with good scenery in the countryside and live a leisurely life...

He always said this That is to say, especially when he was driving home during the New Year, he looked at the natural scenery on the side of the highway with yearning in his eyes.

But this year I asked him again what kind of place he likes, pastoral style, or one surrounded by mountains and rivers?

He only said: Forget it, I probably won’t be able to survive this kind of life for a few more days.

Indeed, reality has trapped us for too long, and such leisurely ease has gradually become an abnormality and a delusion.

Freedom is not that easy to achieve. Adults cannot give up their full body of responsibilities.

After entering college, I have always had two opposing "delusions."

The first one is looking forward to buying my first luxury bag; < /p>

The second one is to yearn to be alone in casual and comfortable clothes, leaning on a wooden deck chair, surrounded by quiet landscapes.

The first one is difficult to achieve because of the restraint and rationality of adults; the second one cannot be achieved because of too many reasons.

At the age of 20, I went to college. After college, I also went to graduate school to build my resume. After graduate school, I worked immediately. Once I worked, I had no chance to have leisure time.

I used to think that "there are 30,000 days in your life, and you will be drunk today if you have wine today." In such a day, there is no need to spend money and there is no pressure; later I found that this kind of life not only has high requirements for money; Only by solving all the things in front of you and letting go of your responsibilities and responsibilities can you live a happy life.

I am walking the same road as everyone else, but I no longer know the direction. I only know that I cannot stop.

And the yearning for freedom seems to have become a sentence, which only expresses my unwillingness to live.

I came across a girl online and after reading a few of her articles and vlogs, I followed her.

The first time I saw her was when she was traveling in Tibet alone, not with a group, and walked to the village alone, free and leisurely.

She called on everyone to try this kind of travel together.

But I am curious whether she really has no burdens or worries when she travels again and again.

I watched her videos all night, and saw a lot of scenery deep in the mountains, people watching sunrise and sunset in the countryside, and the miraculous scenes of nature. I saw rows of wine vats placed in the alley...

Maybe, maybe people who have truly understood freedom will not be willing to return to the cage of reality and be a trapped beast.

It’s a pity that there are still many people who have never been close to the vast sky and sea...