Jokes about pigs or IQ problems

1. A toad pursued a swan, and the swan said disdainfully, if I grew up like you, I would have died! Toad refused to accept, and said why the pig was still alive!

& ltbr & gt Pig feels very wronged. I was just reading the post. Who did I piss off?

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt2.2007 jokes in the Year of the Pig Humorous jokes in the Year of the Pig SMS jokes in the Year of the Pig Blessing jokes in the Year of the Pig Classic jokes in the Year of the Pig jokes in the Year of the Pig.

& ltbr & gt A man kept a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success.

& ltbr & gt One day, the man abandoned the pig by car.

& ltbr & gt called his wife that night and asked, "Is the pig back?"

& ltbr & gt His wife said, "I'm back."

& ltbr & gt The man was very angry and shouted, "Put it on the phone, I'm lost."

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt3.2007 jokes in the Year of the Pig Humorous jokes in the Year of the Pig SMS jokes in the Year of the Pig Blessing jokes in the Year of the Pig Classic jokes in the Year of the Pig jokes in the Year of the Pig.

There is a farmer's armor and a sow on the top of the & ltbr & gt mountain.

Farmer B at the foot of & ltbr & gt Mountain has a wild boar.

& ltbr & gt Christian Friends' Name of Sunday

& ltbr & gt Farmer A is called Farmer B: Dude, my sow is in heat, so I'll lend it to your boar. I'll give you two as a reward after giving birth to piglets.

& ltbr & gt So farmer B pushed the wild boar to the top of the mountain with a trolley. ....

& ltbr & gt The next day

& ltbr & gt Farmer A called out again: Dude, you don't have to be insured once for a piglet. How about adding another dose today? So it happened again.

& ltbr & gt Day 3

& ltbr & gt When Farmer B got up and opened the door, he saw the boar sitting on the cart, smiling.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt4.

& ltbr & gt Pig asks God for reincarnation.

& ltbr & gt God asked: Do you want to be a worker? A: Too tired!

& ltbr & gt God asked: Do you want to be a farmer? A: It's too bitter!

& ltbr & gt God asked: Do you want to do business? A: It's too difficult!

& ltbr & gt God asked: What exactly do you want to do? A: You can eat, drink and gamble!

& ltbr & gt God is furious: Dogs should be state cadres!

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt5.

& ltbr & gt A farmer bought several pigs, hoping to raise them and eat the toad and bacon in the cave.

& ltbr & gt A few weeks later, he found that none of the pigs were pregnant, so he called the veterinarian for help. The vet told him to use artificial insemination.

& ltbr & gt The farmer had no idea what that meant, but he didn't want others to see his ignorance, so he just asked the veterinarian how he could tell that the pig was pregnant.

Veterinarians at & ltbr & gt said, "As long as you see pigs rolling in the mud, it means they are pregnant."

& ltbr & gt The farmer hung up the phone, thought about it, and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination is to let him fertilize these pigs.

& ltbr & gt So he loaded all these pigs into the truck, pulled them into the forest, cleaned them one by one, and then pulled them all back.

& ltbr & gt After waking up the next day, the farmer went to the pigsty and saw the pigs still standing there one by one. He thought that he must have failed the first time, so he pulled the pig into the forest with a truck again. This time, in order to

& ltbr & gt To be on the safe side, he tried very hard to copy it twice for everyone.

& ltbr & gt On the third morning, he got up and went to the pigsty. He found the pig still standing there, without any movement. He thought, let's try again, so he put the pig on the truck and pulled it into the Woods. It took all day.

& ltbr & gt Suddenly, these pigs came home one after another, so tired that they fell asleep in bed.

& ltbr & gt On the fourth day, he could hardly get out of bed, so he asked his wife to see if all the pigs were lying in the mud.

& ltbr & gt His wife came back and told him, "No, all the pigs ran to the truck, and one of them was still honking his horn impatiently."

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt6.

& ltbr & gt A little boy went to the country to spend his holiday with his relatives. His relatives live on a farm, and the children have a good time and see many things they have never seen in the park. When he got home,

& ltbr & gt He told his mother everything. He said that what impressed him was a sow with a piglet. "What do sows do?" "Hey, the pig is chasing it," said the child. "They let it go.

& ltbr & gt Turn it over and start tearing the buttons on its belly. "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt7.

& ltbr & gt One day, a man walked into a bar, followed by a pig. The pig lost all four legs and replaced them with four wooden sticks as artificial limbs.

The bartender in the & ltbr & gt shop asked the man, Your pig is really strange. Why does it have no feet?

& ltbr & gt The man replied, My pig is very powerful. I thought our family was still poor and lived in a hut. As a result, pigs sniffed around in the backyard and found oil, which made me rich, built a house and built it again.

& ltbr & gt swimming pool.

& ltbr & gt The bartender was speechless with surprise. After a while, he asked again, by the way, what happened to his foot?

& ltbr & gt The man said, You know, my pig is very powerful. One day, my five-year-old child drowned alone in the swimming pool. As a result, he jumped into the swimming pool, took my son out and helped him cook.

& ltbr & gt mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!

& ltbr & gt The bartender was even more surprised and asked, "What about his feet?" ...？

& ltbr & gt The man is getting a little impatient: I told you, this is a very powerful pig. One midnight, our kitchen caught fire. It woke up the whole family and put out the fire alone! !

& ltbr & gt Barman: Sir! I mean, why doesn't your pig have feet?

& ltbr & gt The man replied with an unhappy face: If you have such a powerful pig ...? Will you eat it all at once?

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt8.

The biology teacher of & ltbr & gt is describing the appearance of African wild boar on the stage with great interest. Occasionally, when she scanned the stage, she found that most students were dozing off. So he was furious and shouted, "Look at me!

& ltbr & gt How can I know what African wild boar looks like without looking at it? "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt9.

& ltbr & gt The husband and wife had a quarrel, and when they got home, their wife was livid. The husband went to tease the cat. The wife roared, "What are you doing with that pig?" The husband said in surprise, "This is a cat.

& ltbr & gt is not a pig. "The wife took it again:" What do I want you to say when I talk to the cat? "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 10.

& ltbr & gt On the busy Shanghai-Nanjing Expressway, a policeman stopped a van because he found a pet pig sitting next to the driver.

& ltbr & gt "How can you let a pig sit in this position?" The policeman asked in surprise.

& ltbr & gt "No?" The driver seems to be confused about this problem.

& ltbr & gt "Impossible." The police solemnly declared: "If you do this, you will be fined."

& ltbr & gt "But I don't know!" The driver argued.

& ltbr & gt "Where are you going?" The policeman asked again.

& ltbr & gt "Go to Shanghai."

& ltbr & gt "Well, I won't punish you this time." This policeman is really accommodating. "However, when you arrive in Shanghai, you must take the pig to the zoo at once."

& ltbr & gt "Yes, officer!" The driver is also relieved. He knows that if he is fined on the highway, the number must be very large.

& ltbr & gt However, less than two weeks later, the same policeman stopped the same driver because the same pig was still sitting next to him.

& ltbr & gt "Didn't I tell you to take him to the zoo when you arrived in Shanghai?"

& ltbr & gt "Yes, we had a great time, so this time I'm going to take it to Suzhou Amusement Park!"

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 1 1.

& ltbr & gt A farmer in a county was fined 1 10,000 yuan by the Animal Protection Association for feeding pig swill every day.

& ltbr & gt Because of cruelty to animals. Later, the farmer changed to feed snow lotus to pigs, and the result was "animals"

& ltbr & gt Conservation Association was fined10,000 yuan for wasting food. ? One day, the leader came to inspect again.

& ltbr & gt What do farmers feed pigs? The farmer said, "I don't know what to feed." Now. "

& ltbr & gt I give it 100 yuan every day and let it go out to eat by itself. "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 12.

& ltbr & gt A group of animals crossed the river until the boat in the middle of the river began to enter the water, and some of them had to go into the water.

& ltbr & gt The clever monkey came up with an idea for everyone to tell a joke. If the joke doesn't make everyone laugh, he must throw the speaker into the water.

& ltbr & gt So we started to draw lots, and the result was that the cat was the first, followed by the monkey and the chicken. . .

& ltbr & gt The cat tried to tell a joke, and everyone laughed except the pig. But the animals had to throw the cat into the water.

& ltbr & gt The monkey's jokes make people laugh their heads off, but the pig still doesn't laugh, and the monkey has to feed the fish.

& ltbr & gt Chickens are afraid that even the cleverest monkeys can't escape this fate. . .

& ltbr & gt Unexpectedly, the pig smiled at this moment, and all the animals said strangely, why did you laugh before the chicken spoke?

& ltbr & gt Pig said: The cat joke is really funny. . .

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 13.

& ltbr & gt It is said that once the animals in the forest held a party. Organized by monkeys, pigs, kittens, puppies, lambs, deer and many other animals participated. Everyone finally agreed to cross the river. So everyone found a boat and rowed to the other side. When the boat rowed to the middle of the river, a strong wind suddenly blew on the river and the boat staggered and capsized. At this time, the monkey thought, if the boat capsized, I wouldn't be able to swim, and I couldn't live if I fell. Someone has to make a sacrifice and go down by himself. So he thought of a way.

& ltbr & gt The monkey said to everyone, "It's windy. If the ship is bad, it will sink. We must have someone go down. " In this way, none of us tell jokes. If a person doesn't laugh at this joke, he will be thrown into the river. "Everyone agreed. The monkey was the first to tell a very interesting joke, and everyone laughed from ear to ear except the pig. I can't help it. The monkey was thrown down. The second one was told by a lamb. Similarly, the jokes told by the lamb are also very interesting. But the pig still didn't laugh, and the lamb was thrown down. At this time, it's the kitten's turn. The kitten is worried. Is this little pig intentional? . Just as he thought. The little pig burst out laughing. Everyone is puzzled. Ask him what he's laughing at. The pig said, "That joke told by Brother Monkey is really funny. hahaha. . "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 14, pigs listen to jokes.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt Once upon a time, a group of animals were going to dive into the sea, but there was no room for so many people on board, so everyone suggested telling jokes. If someone tells a joke that can't make everyone laugh, they will throw it into the sea. The cow said it first. When Niu finished the joke, everyone laughed. Only one pig didn't laugh. There is no way. The cow had to be thrown into the sea. Then it's the sheep's turn to tell jokes. The joke told by the sheep is not funny at all. At this time, only pigs were laughing there, and everyone felt strange. When they asked the pig what was funny, the pig said, Haha, I finally understand why the joke told by the cow just now is so funny.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 15, 24 pigs

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt A young lawyer appeared in court for his first case. His client's 24 pigs were run over by a train and killed. In order to emphasize the huge loss, he said excitedly, "gentlemen, think about it, 24 pigs!" " 24 heads! Twice as many as our jury.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 16, three pig brains

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt One day, three boys went to a food stall to eat snacks, so they all decided to order "pig brain soup", but because there were too many people in the store, the waitress shouted, "pig brain!" Pig brain! Three pig brains ... "The three boys replied in unison:" We, we ... here, here, here. ! "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 17, what a fresh pig.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt The hunter met a wild boar in the mountains, and he fired a shot in a panic. The wild boar suddenly heard a gunshot and was startled. He thought he had been hit and fainted on the ground. A peddler happened to pass by here and bought the wild boar from the hunter. He looked at it carefully and said to the hunter, "Why is there no bullet hole in this wild boar?" Maybe he died himself, and the meat is definitely not fresh! ""no, not old! "Two people are arguing. The wild boar woke up and got up. Two people came and ran away without paying attention. The hunter pointed to the escaped wild boar and said, "Look, how fresh it is! " "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 18, pigs are very smart.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt Zhang went to the blackboard to do a very simple question, which he hasn't done for a long time. The following students roared derisively; "Pig, pig," Zhang turned around and said angrily, "pig is still smart."

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt 19, pig killer, what are you doing?

& ltbr & gt Students are diligent students. He works part-time during the winter and summer vacations to earn tuition. Help the butcher cut meat during the day and work in the hospital at night.

& ltbr & gt One night, an old woman had to undergo surgery because of an emergency, and a student wheeled her into the operating room. The old lady glanced at Jiasheng and suddenly cried out in horror: "Oh, my God! You killed that pig. Where are you going to push me? "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt20, the principle of fat pig

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gtx Township Party Committee received many letters of accusation against Village Head A one after another, and the secretary rushed to Village Head A to persuade him to resign, which attracted a lot of comments from Village Head A: "I am a little dirty, and I did get some oil and water, and I also robbed some people of butter, but now I am like a fat pig, and I can't eat much if I feed it again. If I resign, I have to take out a pig that is not fat and feed him collectively, which is even more uneconomical. "

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt2 1, turned out to be a dead pig.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt One day, many people gathered on this road. Xiaogang likes to watch the excitement, but he can't get in. He stood behind the crowd and shouted, "get out of the way, get out of the way, the man inside is my cousin." When people heard this, they immediately got out of the way, but Xiaogang looked inside and found that it was a dead pig.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt22. Divide pork.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt The county government killed a pig, and after distributing the meat to cadres, it is going to distribute the rest to several leaders. After being divided into several piles, the director asked Xiaorong to write a sign in case the leading driver made a mistake. After a while, the director went to see it, and there was a sign in front of each pile, which read "Wan County" and "Niu County". , he said, "this is no good. If you change the brand, you will be mixed up. Write the main points clearly on the sign. " After work, the leading driver went to get something. As soon as I entered the office, I saw things lined up on the table and there were signs standing, just like in an exhibition, in front of the pig head, there was a sign: Wanxian pig head; There is a sign in the second pile: the hoof of the county magistrate cow; In the third pile stands a sign: the ear of the county magistrate horse; At the end of that pile stood a sign: Xiongxian Launch.

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt23, roast suckling pig

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt A gentleman was late for dinner. After sitting down in a hurry, I saw the roast suckling pig in front of me, so I was happy to say; "Not bad, I sat next to the suckling pig."

& ltbr & gt When the words came out, I found a fat lady glaring at each other. He hurriedly said with a smiling face. "I'm sorry, I mean the one that's done well."

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt24. Roasted pig hair

& ltbr & gt

& ltbr & gt A company stipulates that smoking is prohibited during working hours. One day, Xiao Wang hid his cigarettes. Seeing no one around, he lit a cigarette and was smoking vigorously. When he heard footsteps, he put a cigarette in his ear and pretended to be reading a newspaper. Colleague Xiao Chen came up to him. Xiao Wang sniffed and said, "Chen, do you smell it?" It seems to have the taste of burning pig hair. " Xiao Chen took a closer look and realized!

What else is there? Look here/lcxia123/blog/item/43f893E4fb312eecf13e04.html.