What are the funny jokes?

1. Give you a watermelon. When you are in a bad mood, you can use a small knife to cut and cut. At the same time, you can vent and shout loudly: I kill melons, I kill melons, I kill melons.

I met a beggar at the station. He has a piece of paper in his hand, which says: I am deaf and dumb, please give me some charity. I suspected that he was a liar, so I said, sorry, I can't read.

Then he spoke: Brother, my wallet was stolen and I have no money to buy a ticket home. Please lend me some money. I'm surprised: aren't you deaf? He was also surprised: can't you read?

3. Someone just learned to ride a bike when he was a child, and ran into the street unconsciously. When he saw an old man walking in front of him, he felt he was going to hit him and shouted, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there for a while without moving, and as a result, he turned around and ran into it. The old man stood up and said, you aimed.

4. Just walking on the road, I received a strange phone call. A woman said, "Hello! Congratulations on winning the second prize of 300,000 yuan in our company! " Before I could speak, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I lied for the first time." Then she hung up and left me standing in the wind.

A girl was punished for running laps in the playground for being late for class. Unexpectedly, it began to rain and the girl had to run in the rain. This is a boy running after her with an umbrella and moving it to the girl's head.

The girl recognized that the boy stared at her for a long time, and her face turned red in an instant. She whispered shyly, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend ..." The boy bowed his head and said to the girl affectionately, "Do you want it? This umbrella is ten dollars ........................................ "