Selection of classic jokes for children

1. My sister has two children, the older one is 4 years old and the younger one is 5 months old.

My sister is going downstairs to buy groceries and asked me to look after them for a while.

Soon the little one started crying non-stop, so I picked her up and sang to her.

Just after singing two lines, she spit up milk. I was caught off guard.

Let the older one The one who called her mother to come back quickly said that her sister had vomited milk.

Unexpectedly, she called and said, "Mom, come back soon.

My uncle sang and made my sister vomit"...

2. I have a five-year-old daughter at home. Yesterday She was reading in the evening, so I went over and asked her:

"How do you pronounce this?" She said "big and small"

"Where is this"

"Little"

"What about this"

"Dad, if you have nothing to do, go and see Bald Qiang. I haven't finished my homework yet, so I don't have time to teach you calligraphy."

i. . .

3. On the subway, a three-and-a-half-year-old girl hugged the thigh of a girl wearing a short skirt and said: Sister, your legs are so white!

The girl blushed with embarrassment. Everyone in the carriage laughed.

At this time, the little girl said to me: Uncle,

I finished speaking. Get off the car and take me to eat KFC.

4. The best naughty kid I have ever seen is the ten-year-old son of a colleague.

When his father beat him, he kept howling: "Ya Zhudie! Dad, you are so powerful!"

His house was not well soundproofed, and his father was so angry that he did not dare to beat him again. Him, kick him out.

Result! He took off his clothes and hid the clothes, then squatted at the door and cried.

Later, the neighbors looked at his father strangely.

His father never dared to beat or scold him again.

5. In kindergarten, the teacher asked Xiao Ming:

"Xiao Ming, what is your baby name?"

Xiao Ming asked curiously: "What is your baby name? "

The teacher said: "The baby's name is the name your mother called you when you were still breastfeeding."

Xiao Ming thought for a while: "I can't remember.

But I know that my father’s nickname is Death Ghost.”

6. Brainwash your eight-year-old nephew when you grow up: “When you grow up, you will look for someone like your aunt. Do you know?"

The nephew nodded obediently, and then said reluctantly: "But aunt, I still like good-looking people."

7. My niece this time. She did not do well in the exam again, and her father patiently comforted her: Baby, don’t be discouraged, keep working hard, and you will do better next time! Because failure is the mother of success!

Little niece: 555, every time you don’t do well in an exam, you say failure is a successful mother, but I don’t want so many mothers. . . ”

8. Brother: “Sister, what is lewdness?” "

I didn't want to teach the children bad things, so I said: ". . . Lustful means passionate, lively and cheerful. "

Brother: "Sister, you are so slutty. ”

Me...

9. The most damaging thing I did when I was a child was to hide in the corner of the old building. There were no lights in the old building at that time.

I was hiding in the corner of the second floor and said in a trembling voice: Come on. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , the teacher said meaningfully: Your son has a bright future!

Me: What’s wrong?

Teacher: I asked him if he wanted to be the monitor? He asked me how much the annual salary would be.

Organized by: zhl201702