Jokes that cure unhappiness

Jokes that cure unhappiness

Jokes that cure unhappiness. You can often see many funny jokes and jokes in life. Taking the time to read them will not only entertain your body and mind, but also Relax, learn a few and tell them to colleagues and friends to enhance interpersonal relationships. Here are some jokes that can cure unhappiness. Jokes to Cure Unhappiness 1

1. On the bridal night, the groom excitedly lifted the bride’s red hijab, only to find that it was another woman. He couldn’t help being surprised and happy, and quickly asked: “Girl, who are you?” Who is it?"

The girl smiled, blushed, and said softly: "The bride is drunk, I am the bridesmaid, and the drunken wife will marry!"

2. Foolish Old Man Moves! Before he died, he called his sons to his bedside and said to his sons with his last breath: "Move mountains, move mountains..."

The sons were close to each other. Holding Yugong's hand, he replied affectionately: "Move mountains, move mountains, shine!"

　3. A teacher asked three students in the class, "Who is the tallest in China?"

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The first student quickly replied: "Yao Ming is the tallest."

The second student felt something was wrong and immediately retorted: "The Leshan Giant Buddha over there is much taller than Yao Ming. At least there are More than seventy meters."

The third student added confidently: "More than seventy meters is just the height for him to sit down. If he stands up, it will be at least 100 meters."

4. On the way back, I met two French people. One may be a Chinese teacher and the other may be his student.

The teacher happily pointed to the Chinese calendar and said to the students: "Look, these two characters read Lei Feng. This is the anniversary of Lei Feng. He is very famous in China because he helped many people during his lifetime."

The student said with admiration: "Teacher, you are really well-informed!"

After saying that, the two of them left happily. I went over to take a look and saw what was written on the calendar. It's frost!

5. In the elevator, a beautiful mother brought a cute little girl, and there was also a strange man. In order to avoid embarrassment, the strange man took out a lollipop from his pocket and handed it to her. Gave it to the little girl.

Then, the beautiful mother asked the little girl: "When someone gives you something, what should you say to others?"

The little girl replied: "Uncle. , do you still have it? My mother wants it too."

6. A couple went to the wild and suddenly encountered a tiger. The husband walked up to the tiger without hesitation. They fought and finally drove the tiger away.

The wife said to her husband: "You are so brave. You are not afraid of such a big tiger."

The husband replied: "What is there to be afraid of? I Is it true that I have lived with you for so many years in vain?"

7. Xiao Ming: "Master, what do you think is the happiest thing in life?"

The master caught a seven-star ladybug, wrapped it in flour and gave it to Xiao Ming.

Xiao Ming: "Master, what do you mean is that although people are as small as insects and crawl around in the mortal world for a lifetime, they will still encounter happy things?"

Master : "No, it's free prostitution."

8. The beauty found that the lipstick was too heavy, so she wiped it with a wet wipe, and then threw the wet wipe on the road. It happened to be picked up by an old man. The old man looked at it for a long time, and suddenly I woke up, caught up and said, "Girl, this ultra-thin one falls off easily"!

9. The neighborhood committee aunt saw a little girl standing at the door, so she asked: "Child, what are you doing standing alone at the door in the cold weather? Why don't you stay in the room?"

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The little girl replied: "Mom and dad are quarreling."

The neighborhood committee aunt said: "That's outrageous, who is your father?"

The little girl replied: “That’s why they were fighting.

"

10. A man went to the barber shop to get a haircut. He said to the boss: "I'm in a hurry, don't worry too much, just fix it." "

The boss said: "No matter how fast I am, I can't do it just once. "

11. A couple was fishing by the river, and the wife kept arguing. After a while, the fish was hooked, and the wife said: "This fish is really pitiful!

The husband said: "Yes, just shut up and everything will be fine." "

12. There is an old man named Tie who does not have a hair on his body. What disease does he have? The answer is: There is nothing wrong with Lao Tie.

13. One hair Match went shopping and while walking, his scalp suddenly felt itchy, so he scratched his head. Unexpectedly, it caught fire. After going to the hospital, it turned into a cotton swab.

14. I have a cotton swab. My friend, his name is Zhu Chuan, and every time his mother buys him clothes, she will say, “This is for our Zhu Chuan. ”

15. I heard that placing the mobile phone next to the pillow while sleeping will cause radiation, which is bad for the body, so I decisively threw the pillow away while sleeping.

16 , I had nothing to do in the office today, so I took out a magnet to play with. Unexpectedly, my boss saw it. He reached out to take it, but with a "swish", the magnet was attracted to the boss's gold ring. It was super embarrassing.

17. When I was looking through my resume just now, I saw the resume of a graduate. In the award-winning experience column, he wrote that he had received Master Kong’s “Another Bottle” award many times while in school

18. A Japanese came to China to see a dentist, and the two got into a fight. When the police asked, they found out that the dentist said to the Japanese, "I'm going to pull out a tooth." "

19. Did you know? When Tang Seng was trapped in the daughter's kingdom, he actually fell in love with the beautiful female king. When the female king asked him if he wanted to marry, Tang Seng said very readily: " marry! "Then the white dragon horse ran away carrying Tang Monk.

20. One day, Zhao Yun injured his buttocks and went to Hua Tuo for help. Just as he was about to sit down, Hua Tuo shouted: "General, you are injured. Don't sit down. "

Zhao Yun replied: "Does your family run a high-speed rail? Are there business seats? "

21. Cao Cao brought his son Cao Chong to visit Liu Bei. Cao Cao walked to the door and shouted loudly: "Cao Cao came to visit with his young son.

Liu Bei said: "Oh, just come and bring any fruits." "

22. One day, Tang Monk asked Bajie: "Do you know what kind of hoop Wukong wears on his head? "

Bajie thought for a while and replied: "Monkey head hoop. "

23. One day, my roommate on the lower bunk was eating instant noodles. At this time, while eating, he suddenly said, "Why are there brittle bones in this instant noodles? "So, I silently put away my nail clippers on the upper bunk.

24. One day, the little snake asked his brother in a panic: "Are we poisonous? "

The big snake said: "Why do you ask this?

The little snake said: "I just accidentally bit my tongue." "

25. Today on Halloween, I went to buy pumpkins. The boss specially picked a big one for me. I said, "I can't finish it by myself." "

The boss said: "I thought you were using it to make a mask.

26. The father walked into his son's room and praised: "Well done, son. The windows are clean and bright. Did you wipe them with soapy water?"

The son replied: "No, I use a hammer." ”

27. There was a colleague in the unit who was Mongolian. He went home on vacation during the Chinese New Year. He didn’t come back after several days of vacation. The boss called him.

He was here The phone caller said: "Boss, I'm still riding a horse on the Hulunbuir grassland to find a home. My family is a nomad, and I don't know where they have moved to now.

"

28. When my husband got home from get off work, he found his wife lying on the sofa. He asked earnestly: "Honey, are you feeling unwell? "

The wife nodded, and the husband quickly comforted her: "Don't worry about cooking, I will carry you to the kitchen in a moment. "

29. When I was watching Romance of the Three Kingdoms with my wife, I said casually: "What do you think I can do in the Three Kingdoms?

The wife said: "Tie him to the straw boat and borrow arrows." "

30. One day, after the elephant went to the toilet and there was no toilet paper, it asked the little white rabbit next to it, "Are you afraid of losing your hair? "The little white rabbit replied: "I'm not afraid. "So, the elephant grabbed the little white rabbit and wiped his butt.

The next day, the elephant forgot to bring toilet paper again when eating, and then he asked the little squirrel next to him, "Are you afraid of losing your hair? ? The little squirrel replied: "I'm not afraid." "So, the elephant picked up the little squirrel and wiped his mouth.

After wiping his mouth, the little squirrel said: "Elephant, I am the little white rabbit yesterday! " Joke to cure unhappiness 2

Vent

My brother is under strict supervision by my sister-in-law and is depressed all day long.

I will give him an idea: " Shall I take you to the boxing gym? Let's vent well"?

Brother asked me: "How should I vent?

I said: "Just think of the sandbag as my sister-in-law."

In the gym at night, the coach asked me: "Is the man you brought here sick?" ‘’

I asked: What happened to him?

The coach said: Your friend has been kneeling in front of the sandbag all afternoon.

No husband

I went to my best friend’s house to play and found that my best friend’s daughter was washing her socks by herself.

I asked her out of curiosity: Why do you wash it yourself when no one does it for you?

She looked at me helplessly and said: I am still young and have no husband, so I can only wash it myself...

Stop thinking

The wife asked her husband: A boy who had chased me before came here on a business trip and wanted to meet me for dinner! Do you mind? The husband thought for a while and asked: When did he pursue you? Wife: Sophomore year!

Husband: How much did you weigh at that time? Wife: About 90 pounds! The husband looked at his wife, who weighed 150 pounds and had dark yellow skin, up and down, and said: Go, it will make her stop thinking about it...

Healed

A friend of mine was very squeamish. He had a small cut on his hand that day, and there was a little blood, so he had to go to the hospital!

When I got to the hospital, the doctor took a look and said, Oops! What you delivered was really timely. Even if it was later, it would be healed!

Kind driver

I took the No. 2 bus in the afternoon. After getting on the bus, a man stood at the door and asked the driver: "Master...Master...Master... To...to...Nan...Nan...Nantongmen...how many more stops? (He is a stammer)

The driver glanced at him and stopped talking but continued to concentrate. He was driving, so the man stuttered and asked again, but the driver still ignored him. At this time, he became a little unhappy and muttered in a low voice.

So an enthusiastic passenger in the car said: Don’t follow me. The driver said, "I'm going to drive. I'll get off at Nantong Gate later. Just follow me and get off." The man said, "Thank you... thank you... thank you!" "The bus arrived at Nantong Gate, and the stammerer got off with the passengers.

At this time, the driver brother spoke: "No...no...it's not me...I...I... Don't tell him... he... said, I... I... want to... say it, he, he, he... thinks... I, I, I... learn... .Learn from him! "

Call parents

The teacher asked a student to call his parents to school. The student was afraid of calling his parents, so he paid an old man playing chess to pretend to be a parent.

After arriving at school, the teacher glanced at the old man and asked the student in a low voice: "Are you sure this is your parent?"

The student replied: "Yes!"

The teacher quickly called the old man aside and said nervously: "Dad, does my mother know that you have such a young child outside?" Jokes to Cure Unhappiness 3

Speaking of which, life is just like these jokes. The revelation behind it gave us a long-lasting happiness and a sudden silence that required us to think.

A man bought a fish and asked his wife to cook it. Then he went to watch a movie. His wife also wanted to go with him. The man said: "It's a waste of money for two people to watch it. You cook the fish, and when I come back from reading, I will share the story with you while eating."

When the man came back from reading, he didn't see the fish. , he asked his wife: "Where is the fish?" My wife calmly found a chair, sat down and said, "I have eaten all the fish. Come, sit down and I will tell you about the taste of fish."

Being a Human , that’s how you treat me, I’ll treat you the same way!

In the college entrance examination year, I scored 200 points, while my mother’s friend’s child scored 680 points, and that child went to a key university. But I could only go to work. Nine years later, the child’s mother showed off to me and her that her son had applied for a project manager job with a monthly salary of over 10,000 yuan... But I was thinking: should I hire him?

Dedicated to all the kids with bad grades: You don’t have to go to college! But you can’t stop working hard!

A piece of straw thrown on the street is like garbage. Bundling together is the price of cabbage. If it is bundled with hairy crabs, it is the price of hairy crabs. Who we bundle with is very important!

A person will be different when he is with different people! The value of a person and different platforms will also reflect different values! Making friends with people with positive energy will affect your life.

A pig, a sheep and a cow are locked up. In the same corral, the shepherd caught the piglet, and it howled loudly and resisted violently. The sheep and cows hated its howling, so they said, "He often catches us, but we don't scream." . "

The little pig heard this and replied: "Catching you and catching me are completely different things. He only wants your hair and milk when he catches you, but he wants my life if he catches me! ”

It is difficult for people with different positions and different circumstances to understand each other’s feelings. The highest level of kindness is nothing more than: do not persuade others to be kind without suffering others’ suffering.

Dinner Later, the mother and daughter were washing the dishes together, and the father and son were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a sound of breaking dishes in the kitchen, and then there was silence. At this time, the son looked at his father and said, "Mom must have broken it. "

"How do you know? "She didn't curse." ”

We are used to looking at others and ourselves according to different standards, so we often blame others for being strict and treat ourselves leniently.

An aunt made a mistake Join a doctor group.

Someone asked: If a drop of water falls freely from a very high place, will it hurt or kill someone? The group immediately became lively. Various formulas, various assumptions, various calculations of resistance, gravity, and acceleration were discussed for nearly an hour. At this time, the aunt asked silently: Have you ever been exposed to rain?

Suddenly, the group chatted. Dead silence...and then the aunt was kicked out of the group.

Knowledge can give you more ways to think, but experience can help you solve problems faster.

A horse and a donkey heard that Tang Monk was going to the West to obtain Buddhist scriptures. The donkey felt that the trip would be difficult and gave up;

The horse immediately followed him, and the scriptures turned out to be ninety-nine and eighty-one. It’s hard to get the scripture back.

Donkey asked: Brother, is it very hard?

Horse said: In fact, during the time I went to Xitian, the journey you took was not as good as before. I'm young! And I was blindfolded and beaten. In fact, I was afraid that I would be even more tired from hanging around.

The mouse fell into the half-full rice vat, and the accident made him overjoyed. After confirming that there was no danger, it began to eat and sleep in the rice vat. Soon, the rice tank will reach the bottom, but after all, it can't get rid of the temptation of rice and continues to stay in the tank.

Finally, when it finished eating the rice, it realized that jumping out was just a dream and that there was nothing it could do about it.