Exceptionally short jokes

Specially short jokes

Specially short jokes can not only make you happy and make others happy, they are also very suitable for making your girlfriend happy and can be used in many social situations to instantly make you laugh. To make people remember and enliven the atmosphere, this article has compiled special short jokes. If you find them funny, please remember them! Very short joke 1

1. A friend of mine is very frugal and can’t bear to throw away anything. One winter I went to his house to play and saw him taking a bath with cold water. I asked, "Brother, what's wrong with you?" Why do you take a bath with cold water when it's so cold? As a result, this guy said something that I will never forget in my life: I still have two boxes of cold medicine at home, and they will expire if I don’t take them.

2. Taking the bus in the morning, there are many people! Suddenly I felt the bag was moved and found out that it was a thief in his 30s. So I yelled: "You want to die! Search my bag!" The man took two steps back and said with a panicked look: Brother, I'm a newbie. If I don't steal money, I'll just practice my skills...

3. One night I wanted to buy snacks, but my mom stopped me and asked me, "Aren't you going to lose weight?" I said, "Hi... Anyway, I have a boyfriend, and someone wants it..." Then my mom looked at me For a long time, I said something very inspiring: "Don't you want to change?"

4. A college student went to see a doctor. After examination, the doctor said: "It doesn't matter, just an injection will be fine." The doctor took cotton wool Rub it on the student's arm three or four times. The student thought he was seriously ill and asked worriedly: "Doctor, is the problem serious?" The doctor said seriously: "Classmate, it's time for you to take a shower."

5. A person was on a bridge and called the police. There was a bomb under the bridge, and the police called in many bomb disposal experts. When I came under the bridge, I opened the two bomb boxes under the bridge, and found out: there were four 2s in one box, and 2 kings in the other box!

6. The ship ran aground on the sea and was about to sink. The passengers were shouting and shouting. Only one passenger ate biscuits. Everyone said: "How can you still care about eating after what time has it been?" The passenger replied plausibly: "My stomach is not good, and the doctor told me not to drink water on an empty stomach!"

7. Question: Looking for a costume TV series. The plot is that the male protagonist falls into a cave and eats mushrooms and becomes very powerful in martial arts! Some people say it is "The Golden Sword and the Carved Feathers", and some people say it is "The Legend of the Condor Heroes". The last person answered: Super Mario!

8. A certain man went through all kinds of hardships to find all seven dragon balls. When Shenlong appeared, he said that he wanted to fulfill his three wishes. The man blurted out that he wanted a train ticket home. Shenlong thought for a while and said: "Get on my back, I'll carry you home!"

9. A young man who had just learned to ride a motorcycle accidentally hit an old woman on his bike. The young man said: Grandma, I'm sorry! I don’t know how to ride... Grandma: I don’t know how to ride but I still hit it so accurately!

10. Every industry has its own ancestor: the carpenter worships Lu Ban; the tofu shop worships Liu An; the silk industry worships Lei Zu. The founder of the express delivery company should be Santa Claus. Every December 24th, the boss of the express delivery company leads all the salesmen to worship the ancestor under the Christmas tree to commemorate this legendary figure in the express delivery industry who delivered hundreds of millions of packages overnight and never allowed customers to open packages for inspection before signing for receipt. Very short jokes 2

1. My husband ate a peach while driving with the core in his mouth. Me: Spit it out, don’t get stuck. This guy wrapped the core in a tissue and gave it to me and said: Then I will give you the dragon balls. There are still six more to go.

　2 "Dad, do you think there are really ghosts in this world?" "Silly boy, of course not." "But I'm a little scared." "Don't think about it, it's getting late, hurry up and get me Give me your head and go back to your coffin to sleep."

3 During the morning exercise at a certain school, the instructor noticed that several girls were standing and did not participate in the running. He came up and asked: "Why don't you participate? Training!" The girl replied: "Auntie is here.

(Referring to the female menstrual cycle)” The young instructor was not sure and scolded: “We have regulations that prohibit relatives from visiting during military training! "

4 The ant walked to the pond and saw the elephant bathing in it. He shouted to the elephant: "Come up." After the elephant came up, the ant said: "It's okay, you can go down!" The elephant was so angry: Are you looking for death? Why do you want me to come here? Ant is dissatisfied: I lost my swimming trunks, let me see if you stole them!

5 iPhone users can upgrade to the new iOS10 system. The new system has many innovations, the most important of which is that it fixes the problem of old iPhones running too smoothly

6 Apple, Samsung and Huawei compete against each other! Apple releases 7, Huawei releases 9, Samsung looks confident. Said, demo, I’m going to bomb! Apple: I’m sorry!

7 “Rose, you’re fat. "Jack said. "Well, then you can call me expansion screw from now on. ”

8 There is a fish in the North Ming Dynasty. Its name is Kun. Kun is so big that it cannot be stewed in one pot! It turns into a bird, and its name is Peng. Peng is so big that it requires two barbecue grills. A secret Make a spicy one, have a bottle of snowflakes, let’s bravely go to the end of the world!

9 A high school student’s grades were very poor, and he fell one in every exam. The class teacher couldn’t bear it anymore, so he exposed it in front of the whole class! He scolded him in front of others: If you are a bastard like you, if you pass the college entrance examination, I will give you my eyes. After hearing this, the poor student lowered his head and remained silent. When it came to the college entrance examination, he unexpectedly passed the exam. Ben. This story tells us: How much he hates the teacher!

10 The disciples asked Tang Seng: "Master, why did you accept us as disciples in the first place? Tang Monk said: "Because of your weapons!" "Wukong said: "Why, you don't use force, our weapons are of no use to you! Tang Seng said: "It's useful, it's so useful!" Wukong, your golden cudgel has become smaller, it is an ear pick; Bajie's weapon has become smaller, it is just for scratching itches without asking for help; Sha Monk's weapon has become smaller, it is a razor! When traveling long distances, these three tools are really useful! "Apprentice...

11 When I was traveling, the tour guide said that the more bees around the fruit here, the sweeter the fruit is. I saw a fruit surrounded by bees and asked in confusion: What kind of fruit is this? Tour guide: This is a hornet’s nest. Me: -_-|

12 “The little white rabbit is so white and so cute jumping around. "Wouldn't it be cute without bouncing?" "No jumping around." . . What's in the pot is called delicious, not cute! ”

13 In 1979, Sweden still considered gayness to be “a disease.” Smart Swedish citizens were angry about this regulation and fought back angrily. They took sick leave one after another. The reason for the sick leave was “I feel that today I'm a bit gay. "

14 The ship unfortunately sank to the bottom of the sea, and there were very few survivors. The family group took the captain to court. The judge asked the captain: "What caused this accident? The captain responded with disdain: "I have the right to remain sunk." ”