Funny version of ventriloquism classical Chinese

1. A funny version of "Ventbox"

There is a woman who is good at ventriloquism. In the guest hotel, a several-foot-long bed is placed in the northeast corner of the room. The ventriloquist woman lies on the big bed with only a bra, a pair of briefs, a vagina, and a condom. Men unbutton their pants. After a while, I heard that after bathing in the bathroom, the whole room was silent and there was no noise.

I heard a woman yawning softly as the male guest came back from the bathroom. The male guest babbled, then turned over and went to bed. The woman also got up. The woman strokes the cock, the man cries with milk in his mouth, and the woman pats and blows on it. Seeing a hard stick standing upright, the fighting spirit is high. At this time, the sounds of the woman slapping the cock, whining from the mouth, the man licking his breasts and crying, the big bed squeaking, and the woman's sexual intercourse all came together at once, all wonderful sounds were completed. The male guests on the bed couldn't help but stretch their necks, glance sideways, laugh lewdly, and groan silently, thinking it was wonderful.

Not long after, the man began to have sex, and the woman blew his cock more and more fiercely. Suddenly, there was a strong sound of ejaculation, which came out from the side and was heard in the woman's mouth. The male guest was slightly relaxed and sat upright.

Suddenly someone shouted: "Police!" The man was shocked and the woman was also shocked. The two shouted in unison. From time to time, there were the police shouting, the shouts of two people, the voices of people outside the door, the sounds of pulling and collapsing, the sounds of pushing, the shouts, hundreds of thousands of them in unison; mixed with the hundreds of thousands of cries for help, the sound of people dragging the house, and the snatching. The sound of handcuffs. Everything is there, everything is there. Although a person has hundreds of hands and hundreds of fingers, he cannot point to one end; a person has hundreds of mouths and his mouth has hundreds of tongues, so he cannot name a single place. So the male guest jumped up from the bed, stretched out his sleeves and stretched out his arms, his legs trembling, almost wanting to leave first.

Suddenly a woman screamed, and the whole group echoed. When you look at the bed, it's just a bra, a pair of briefs, a breast, and a condom.

2. The full text of the classical Chinese text "Volume Skills"

There are people in Beijing who are good at ventriloquism. For a large banquet with guests, an eight-foot barrier is placed in the northeast corner of the hall. The ventriloquist sits in the barrier with a table, a chair, a fan, and a foot. All the guests sit together. After a while, I heard the sound of a stroke of feet in the barrier, and everyone sat in silence, with no one daring to make a scene.

Hearing the barking of dogs in the deep alley, a woman was startled and could not stretch her legs, and her husband was gibbering. Then the child woke up and cried loudly. My husband also woke up. The woman strokes the baby's breast, and the baby cries while holding the breast, and the woman pats it and whines. Another eldest child woke up, and the vomiting didn't stop. At this time, the sounds of the woman slapping the baby, whimpering, the baby crying with nipple in his mouth, the older child just waking up, and her husband yelling loud at the older child, were all given out simultaneously, remarkably well. All the guests stretched out their necks, glanced sideways, smiled, and sighed silently, thinking it was wonderful.

Not long after, the husband started making noises, and the woman patted her son gradually stopped. There is a faint smell of rats making ropes, the basin is tilted, and the woman is coughing in her dream. The guests feel less relaxed and sit slightly upright.

Suddenly someone shouted: "Fire is coming!" The husband shouted, and the woman also shouted. The two children cried together. Hundreds of thousands of people shouted loudly, hundreds of thousands of children cried, and hundreds of thousands of dogs barked. In the middle, there are the sounds of pulling and collapsing, the sound of fire, the whistling wind, and the sounds of hundreds and thousands of people shouting for help; the sounds of hundreds and thousands of people asking for help, the sound of pulling the house, the sound of snatching, and the sound of splashing water. Everything is there, everything is there. Although a person has hundreds of hands and hundreds of fingers, he cannot point to one end; a person has hundreds of mouths and his mouth has hundreds of tongues, so he cannot name a single place. So the guests all turned pale and left the table, stretched out their sleeves and arms, and almost wanted to leave first.

Suddenly he touched his ruler, and the whole group made a sound. Remove the screen and look at it, it's just one person, one table, one chair, one fan, and one foot. 3. Classical Chinese articles about ventriloquism

Guo Maoer from Yangzhou is good at ventriloquism. Gengshen (the 19th year of Emperor Kangxi's reign in the Qing Dynasty), I was in Yangzhou, and a friend came to his apartment with a cat. Later in the evening, when he was drunk and drunk, Guo Qi invited Bo Ji to play. He set up a screen on the right side of the table without placing any lights or candles. Guo sat behind the screen, and the host and guests listened quietly.

For a long time, there was no sound. Once in a while, a flock of chickens crows randomly, and their sounds are all different. I heard my father calling to his son, "It's almost dawn, so it's time to slaughter the pigs." The son got up to feed the pigs in the pigsty. He heard the sound of the pigs fighting for food and eating, and the sound of his father cooking soup and pouring water into the fire. Voice. His son then tied a pig. The sound of the pig being tied, the sound of sharpening the knife, the sound of killing the pig, the sound of bleeding, and the sound of being peeled off were all very unpleasant. The father also said to his son: "It's dawn, it's time to sell it." Hearing the sound of meat being put on the table, he heard the sound of people counting money for selling meat. Some were buying pig heads, some were buying belly, and some were buying meat. There was a lot of commotion and quarrels, and there was a "huā" sound, and the four houses were silent.

4. I am looking for a modern version of the ancient text "Ventio Skills"

The original text of "Vocation Skills":

There are people in Beijing who are good at ventriloquism. For a large banquet with guests, an eight-foot barrier is placed in the northeast corner of the hall. The ventriloquist sits in the barrier with a table, a chair, a fan, and a foot. All the guests sit together. After a while, I heard a touch of a ruler in the barrier, and everyone sat in silence, with no one daring to make a scene.

I heard the barking of dogs in the deep alley, and there was a woman who was startled and couldn't stretch her legs, and her husband was gibbering. Then the child woke up and cried loudly. My husband also woke up. The woman strokes the baby's breast, and the baby cries, and the woman pats it and whines. Another eldest child woke up, and the vomiting didn't stop. At this time, the sounds of the woman slapping the baby, whimpering, the baby crying with nipple in his mouth, the older child just waking up, and her husband yelling loud at the older child, were all given out simultaneously, truly wonderful. All the guests stretched out their necks, glanced sideways, smiled, and sighed silently, thinking it was wonderful.

Not long after, the husband started making noises, and the woman patted her son gradually stopped. There is a faint smell of rats making ropes, the basin is tilted, and the woman is coughing in her dream. The guests feel less relaxed and sit slightly upright.

Suddenly someone shouted "fire". When the husband shouts loudly, the woman also shouts loudly. The two children cried together. Hundreds of thousands of people shouted loudly, hundreds of thousands of children cried, and hundreds of thousands of dogs barked. In the middle are the sounds of pulling and collapsing, the sound of fire, the whistling wind, and the sounds of hundreds and thousands of people shouting for help; the sounds of hundreds and thousands of people asking for help, the sound of pulling the house, the sound of snatching, and the sound of splashing water. Everything you need is there. Although a person has hundreds of hands and hundreds of fingers, he cannot point to one end; a person has hundreds of mouths and his mouth has hundreds of tongues, so he cannot name one of them. So the guests all turned pale and left the table, stretched out their sleeves and stretched out their arms, almost wanting to leave first.

Suddenly he touched his ruler, and the whole group made a sound. Take off the screen and look at it, it's just one person, one table, one chair, one fan, and one foot.

Translation:

There was a man in the capital who was good at performing ventriloquism. Just in time for a family to hold a banquet for guests, an eight-foot-high tent was set up in the northeast corner of the hall. The ventriloquists sat in the tent. There were only a table, a chair, a fan, Just a piece of waking wood. Many guests were seated around the barrier. After a while, I heard Xingmu patting himself inside the tent, and the whole place became quiet. No one dared to speak loudly.

Far in the distance, I heard dogs barking in the deep alley, a woman was waked up, yawned, and stretched herself, and her husband talked in sleep. Soon the child woke up and cried loudly. The husband also woke up. The woman caressed the child and nursed it, and the child cried with his vagina in his mouth. The woman patted the child and hummed to coax him. The other older child on the bed woke up and started nagging loudly. At this time, there were the sounds of the woman slapping the baby gently, humming softly to put the baby to sleep, the baby crying with nipple in his mouth, the older child just waking up, her husband scolding the older child, all at the same time. If you send it out, it will have all kinds of wonderful benefits. All the guests in the house stretched their necks and tilted their heads to look, smiled, and silently admired in their hearts, thinking it was wonderful.

After a while, the sound of the husband snoring sounded, and the sound of the woman patting the child gradually stopped. There were vague sounds of mice rustling, pots and dishes being knocked over and tilted, and the woman coughed in her dream. The guests relaxed a little and gradually straightened their sitting postures.

Suddenly I heard someone shouting "Fire!" The husband got up and shouted, the woman also got up and shouted, and the two children cried together. After a while, hundreds of people shouted loudly, hundreds of children cried, and hundreds of dogs barked wildly. Among them were the sounds of houses cracking and collapsing, fires burning, and explosions. , the whistling wind, many kinds of sounds sounded at the same time; mixed with the voices of many individuals calling for help, the shouts of everyone trying to pull down the burning house, the sound of looting property, and the sound of splashing water. There are no sounds that a fire should have. Even if a person has a hundred hands, and each hand has a hundred fingers, he cannot point out one of the sounds; if a person has a hundred mouths, and each mouth has a hundred tongues, he cannot point out a single place. At this moment, none of the guests changed their expressions. They left their seats, rolled up their sleeves, stretched out their arms, their legs were trembling, and they almost ran away.

Suddenly Xingmu slapped the sound, and all the sounds disappeared.

When the tent was removed, there was only one person, a table, a chair, a fan, and a piece of wood. 5. All 6 items of ventriloquism and classical Chinese must be completed

One word has multiple meanings 1. Sit: all the guests sit together (sit down) and sit silently (same as "seat", seat) The king said: "Why sit? "Said: "Sitting on the thief."

(offense, crime.

Crime) 2. Breast: The woman caress the baby's breast (feeding) and the baby cries (***) 3 . And: The child wakes up (the end of the adverb of time, not translated) The woman claps and moans (conjunction, indicating juxtaposition) 4. Miao: All the wonderful things are prepared (wonderful point) I think it is wonderful (good) 5. Refers to: hand There are hundreds of fingers (fingers), but you cannot point to one end (point out) 6. Jue: I think it is wonderful (extreme), the sound of the group is complete, Jue (stop) 7. Between: The sound of pulling and collapsing in the middle (mixed) Carnivores seek it, and He Jianyan (participated) and ordered Wu Guang to follow him in the temple (secretly envoy). When Bian Que saw Duke Huan of Cai, he stood there for a while. Meaning: The whole place was quiet. )

Different meanings in ancient and modern times 1 meeting, ancient: just in time for today: meeting 2 but, ancient: only now: transitional conjunction, but 3 slightly, ancient: gradually now: slightly 4 Stock, ancient: thigh Today: *** Parts of speech conjugation 1 There is a person in Beijing who is good at ventriloquism (good: adjective conjugated as a verb, good at it. Sentence meaning: There is a person in Beijing who is good at performing ventriloquism.)

2 Can’t name a place (name: use a noun as a verb, say it. Sentence meaning: Can’t name a place clearly.)

3 A banquet for guests (banquet: use a noun as a verb, hold a banquet) Banquet. Sentence meaning: A family is hosting a banquet for guests.)

Special sentence pattern inverted sentence: A banquet with guests (object preposition: "A banquet with guests" Sentence meaning: Positive Catching up with a family holding a banquet to invite guests. ) The time quantifier is a moment, a moment, not a while, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a banquet, a banquet, a banquet, and a large gathering of guests. Indicates that something will happen within a specific period of time. 5. It means something will happen within a short period of time. 6. Reduced version of classical Chinese oral skills translation

The basic principle followed by translation is not to change the basic meaning of the original text, but reduction will generally violate this principle, so I can only provide you with the most accurate version. Please refer to it!

There is a man in the capital who is good at ventriloquism. One day, there was a large banquet for guests. In the northeast corner of the living room, an eight-foot-high curtain was placed. The ventriloquist performer sat inside the curtain. There was only a table and a chair inside. , a fan, and a piece of wood. The guests sat together in front of the curtain. After a while, only Xingmu clapped his hands inside the curtain, and the whole place fell silent. No one dared to speak loudly.

Far away in the deep alley, there were dogs barking, and a woman was woken up, yawned, and stretched herself, while her husband talked in sleep. After a while, the child also woke up and cried loudly. The husband was also woken up. The woman patted the child to nurse him, but the child still cried with the nipple in his mouth. The woman patted the child and hummed softly to coax him to sleep. Another older child woke up and kept chattering. At this time, the sounds of the woman slapping the baby, humming, the baby crying with nipple in his mouth, the older child just woke up, her husband yelling loud at the older child, were all given out simultaneously. Come out, all kinds of sounds are performed lifelike. All the guests in the audience stretched their necks, squinted their eyes, smiled, and secretly admired the performance, thinking it was a great performance.

Not long after, the husband started snoring, and the woman patted the child slowly and stopped. I could vaguely hear the sound of mice squeaking, the sound of basins and other utensils tipping over, and the sound of a woman coughing in her sleep. When the guests heard this, they felt a little more relaxed and gradually sat upright.

Suddenly someone shouted loudly: "There's a fire!" The husband got up and shouted loudly, and the woman also got up and shouted loudly. The two children began to cry together.

After a while, hundreds of people shouted loudly, hundreds of children cried, and hundreds of dogs barked. Mixed in were the sounds of crackling houses collapsing, the roaring sounds of burning fires, the whistling of the wind, and thousands of sounds rang out at the same time; mixed with the sounds of hundreds of people calling for help, people fighting the fire pulled down the burning houses. There were loud shouts of strength, the sound of rescuing things, and the sound of splashing water. All the sounds that should have been present in this situation were missing. Even if a person has hundreds of hands, each hand has hundreds of fingers, he cannot point out which sound among them; even if a person has hundreds of mouths, each mouth has hundreds of tongues, he cannot say Come to one of these places. In this case, the guests were so frightened that their expressions changed, they left their seats, rolled up their sleeves to expose their arms, their thighs trembled, and they almost wanted to run away first.

Suddenly Xingmu slapped the wood, and all the sounds disappeared. When I removed the curtain and looked inside, I saw just one person, a table, a fan, and a piece of wood. 7. Classical Chinese on ventriloquism

Original text There are people in Beijing who are good at ventriloquism.

For a large banquet with guests, an eight-foot barrier is placed in the northeast corner of the hall. The ventriloquist sits in the barrier, which is just a table, a chair, a fan, and a foot. All the guests sit together.

After a while, I heard a touch of a ruler in the barrier, and everyone sat in silence, with no one daring to make a scene. I heard the barking of dogs in the deep alley in the distance, and there was a woman who was startled and crouched, and her husband was gibbering.

Then the child woke up and cried loudly. My husband also woke up.

The woman strokes the baby's breast, and the baby cries, while the woman pats and whines. Another eldest child woke up, and the vomiting didn't stop.

At this time, the sounds of the woman slapping the baby, whimpering, the baby crying with milk in his mouth, the older child just waking up, and her husband yelling at the older child, all came out at once, all wonderful. All the guests stretched their necks and looked sideways, smiled and sighed silently, thinking it was wonderful.

Not long after, the husband started making noises, and the woman patted her son gradually stopped. There is a faint smell of rats making ropes, the basin is tilted, and the woman is coughing in her dream.

The guests felt less relaxed and sat down slightly. Suddenly someone shouted "Fire is coming". The husband shouted loudly, and the woman also shouted loudly.

Both children cried together. Hundreds of thousands of people shouted loudly, hundreds of thousands of children cried, and hundreds of thousands of dogs barked.

In the middle there are the sounds of pulling and collapsing, the sound of fire, the whistling of the wind, and the sounds of hundreds and thousands of people shouting for help; the sounds of hundreds and thousands of people asking for help, the sound of pulling the house, the sound of snatching, and the sound of splashing water. Everything is there, everything is there.

Although a person has hundreds of hands and hundreds of fingers, he cannot point to one end; a person has hundreds of mouths and his mouth has hundreds of tongues, so he cannot name a single place. So the guests all turned pale and left the table, stretched out their sleeves and arms, and almost wanted to leave first.

Suddenly he touched his ruler, and there was a loud sound. Remove the screen and look at it, it's just one person, one table, one chair, one fan, and one foot. 8. Classical Chinese ventriloquism

Text

There are people in Beijing who are good at ventriloquism. For a large banquet with guests, an eight-foot barrier is placed in the northeast corner of the hall. The ventriloquist sits in the barrier with a table, a chair, a fan, and a foot. All the guests sit together. After a while, I heard a touch of a ruler in the barrier, and everyone sat in silence, with no one daring to make a scene.

Hearing the barking of dogs in the deep alley, a woman was startled and could not stretch her legs, and her husband was gibbering. Then the child woke up and cried loudly. My husband also woke up. The woman strokes the baby's breast, and the baby cries while holding the breast, and the woman pats it and whines. Another eldest child woke up, and the vomiting didn't stop. At this time, the sounds of the woman slapping the baby, whimpering, the baby crying with nipple in his mouth, the older child just waking up, and her husband yelling loud at the older child, were all given out simultaneously, remarkably well. All the guests stretched their necks, looked sideways, smiled, and sighed silently, thinking it was wonderful.

Not long after, the husband started making noises, and the woman patted her son gradually stopped. There is a faint smell of rats making ropes, the basin is tilted, and the woman is coughing in her dream. The guests feel less relaxed and sit slightly upright.

Suddenly someone shouted: "Fire is coming!" The husband shouted, and the woman also shouted. The two children cried together. Hundreds of thousands of people shouted loudly, hundreds of thousands of children cried, and hundreds of thousands of dogs barked. In the middle, there are the sounds of pulling and collapsing, the sound of fire, the whistling wind, and the sounds of hundreds and thousands of people shouting for help; the sounds of hundreds and thousands of people asking for help, the sound of pulling the house, the sound of snatching, and the sound of splashing water. Everything is there, everything is there. Although a person has hundreds of hands and hundreds of fingers, he cannot point to one end; a person has hundreds of mouths and his mouth has hundreds of tongues, so he cannot name a single place. So the guests all turned pale and left the table, stretched out their sleeves and arms, and almost wanted to leave first.

Suddenly he touched his ruler, and the whole group made a sound. Take off the screen and look at it, it's just one person, one table, one chair, one fan, and one foot.

(Deleted from the original text)

Translation

There was a man in the capital who was good at performing ventriloquism. One day, a family was hosting a banquet to entertain guests. An eight-foot-wide screen was placed in the northeast corner of the hall, and the ventriloquist performers were allowed to sit behind the screen. There was only a table, a chair, a fan, and a wake-up call. Just wood. All the guests gathered together and sat down. After a while, I heard Xingmu being patted on the screen. All the guests present were silent, and no one dared to speak loudly.

(Guests) heard the barking of dogs coming from the deep alley in the distance, followed by the sound of a woman waking up, yawning and stretching, and her husband talking in his sleep. After a while, the child woke up and cried loudly. The husband also woke up. The wife patted the child to feed him, and the child cried while holding the breast in his mouth. The woman hummed and patted him to coax him to sleep. The other older child on the bed woke up and started nagging loudly. At this time, the sounds of the woman slapping the baby, humming to comfort the baby, the baby crying with vagina in his mouth, the older child just waking up, her husband scolding the older child, were all heard at the same time. Wonderful effects are achieved. All the guests in the house stretched their necks, squinted their eyes, smiled, and admired silently, thinking it was wonderful.

After a while, the sound of the husband snoring began, and the sound of the woman patting the child gradually stopped. I could faintly hear the sound of mice moving around, basins and utensils were tilted, and the woman coughed in her sleep. The guests also relaxed slightly and gradually straightened their sitting postures.

Suddenly, I heard someone shouting "Fire!" The husband got up and shouted, the woman also got up and shouted, and the two children cried together. After a while, hundreds of people shouted loudly, hundreds of children were crying, hundreds of dogs were barking, and there were also crackling sounds, the sounds of houses collapsing, and the sounds of fire and explosions. The whistling wind and thousands of voices sounded together; it was also mixed with hundreds of voices calling for help, the sounds of people working together to collapse the burning house, the sounds of grabbing things, and the sounds of splashing water. There are no sounds that should be present when fighting a fire. Even if a person has a hundred hands and each hand has a hundred fingers, he cannot point out one of them; if a person has a hundred mouths and each mouth has a hundred tongues, he cannot point out one of them. At this moment, none of the guests changed their expressions. They left their seats, rolled up their sleeves, exposed their arms, and their legs were trembling, almost wanting to leave first.

Suddenly, there was a sound of wake-up wood, and all the sounds disappeared. After removing the screen and looking again, there is still only one person, a table, a chair, a fan, and a piece of wood. 9. Comparative reading questions of the classical Chinese text "Float Skills"

1. 1. ① "I heard the barking of dogs in the deep alley... a must for all kinds of wonderful things" ② "The husband screamed... the woman coughed in her dream"

2. ① "Suddenly a person shouted 'fire'...hundreds of dogs barked" ②"The sound of pulling and collapsing in the middle...can't be named in one place"

2. 1. These three side descriptions are in-depth and vividly and delicately depict the psychological change process of the audience, showing the powerful attractiveness of this wonderful performance to the audience, thus highlighting the superb skills of the ventriloquist performers.

2. Echo the beginning and the end to make the structure complete. It shows that ventriloquism does not rely on other utensils, but only on one mouth. It highlights that the skill lies in the "mouth" and also shows the superb skill of the performer from the side.

3. 1. By coincidence, just in time. Have a banquet. 2. Just hear. 3. Breastfeeding. Make a whining sound. 4. Slightly. gradually. 5. Even if. Say it. 6. Thighs. run.