Selected works of humorous jokes

1. You come from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I come from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your hairy hand! Love makes us walk upright!

2. The farmer drove the donkey into the city and met a rogue. He asked, Have you eaten? The farmer said: Eat! The rogue said: I asked the donkey! The farmer turned and slapped the donkey and said, it's not kind to me, and there are relatives in the city who don't say anything!

3. In order to alleviate this year's employment contradiction, China has introduced a new degree system: a doctor can study for a strong man, a strong man can study for a saint's degree four years after graduation, and he can study for a martyr's degree if he still can't find a job after graduation!

This is a very old story. In pursuit of his beloved girl, a boy climbed 99 mountains, swam 99 rivers and trudged thousands of miles to the girl's side. I saw the girl looking at the boy affectionately and saying very excitedly, get out!

Brother, I'll throw a brick first. Throw the jade if you have it.

6. Xiaoming went to eat sparerib noodles one day. Soon, noodles came. Xiao Ming took a look and asked the boss angrily, why doesn't the boss have ribs? The boss replied, is there a moon in the moon cake?

Starting from tomorrow, the municipal government has decided to drive away all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you. Remember, you're welcome

8. A family has three brothers. Older people are called hooligans, second are called kitchen knives, and third are called troubles. One day, the third one was lost, and the boss took the second one to the police. When I arrived at the police station, the boss said, "I am a rogue. I brought a kitchen knife to make trouble today. "

9. Son: Dad, why did God create men first and then women? Father: Maybe he doesn't want a woman to nag him about making men!

10. An old couple went to a restaurant to eat. The waiter saw his wife eating alone, but her husband looked at her motionless. "Why don't you eat?" "I want to wait until she finishes eating before returning my dentures to me."

1 1. I heard that your mouse moved, and all the flies were smoked into the hospital. Just now, I saw your cockroach in the supermarket to buy a freshener, and the bug also came to buy perfume. Dude, wash your feet!

12. Men and women walked under the tree to watch the meteor shower. Did you get a look at him? Woman: I see it! A man came out from behind the tree, pants in hand, and said, see it when you see it. What are you yelling about?

13. You can start over with as much love as you have. Supreme treasure teaches you a trick: take your box of home improvement cookies to the balcony at night, and then shout to the moon: Boluo Boromido!

14. A foreigner is looking for a restaurant in the street. Look at the door, it says: beef noodles, large rows of noodles, simple meals. Write it down, then go in and say to the waiter: Hello, give me a bowl of "cow shit".

15. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

16. The head can be broken, but the hairstyle can't be messy. Blood can flow, leather shoes should be oiled.

17. Give some sunshine and you will be brilliant, give some flood and you will be flooded, give some warmth and you will rot, give some wine and you will make trouble.

18. description of jumping off a building: happy to the seventh floor, panting to the sixth floor, struggling to the fifth floor, disabled to the fourth floor, hospitalized to the third floor, scared to the second floor, watching the excitement to the first floor.

19. The sky is vast, and the hope for this year is too slim; Shuiwan Bay Road is long, and the days without money are too long. This building is tall and busy. Can I rob a bank with you tonight? Joint code: I said puppy. You said: Wang Wang.

20. The salesman said to a customer who was smoking, "Sir, smoking is forbidden here." The customer replied, "This is the cigarette I bought from you." Salesman: "So what? We also sell toilet paper here! " "