Find some humorous jokes that will make me laugh out loud

One day when Liu Guanzhang went to Pizza Hut for dinner, they saw a fork and a knife and thought these two things were very good weapons. Then he took these things and challenged Lu Bu. Lu Bu looked at them and said, "You'd better go." Liu Bei said, "Why, my weapon is very powerful, so you are afraid." Lu Bu said, "You challenge me with a knife and fork, right?" There is a problem - -. "(This is the Three Heroes Fighting Lu Bu)

One day Lu Bu was playing with the whip on his hat. Liu Bei saw it and asked Lu Bu if he could lend it to me to play with. Lu Bu said yes. Lu Bu stopped and knocked Liu Bei unconscious (this was the Three Heroes Battle, Lu Bu, Liu Bei was knocked off his horse by Lu Bu)

One day Zhang Fei asked Cao Pi: "Cao Pi, you are a bitch (recently), have the house prices gone up? You Is the chicken coop okay

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1 Who in the world gets old all of a sudden?

Answer: The bride. Because today is Bride, tomorrow will be your wife.

2 How much is a heart worth?

Answer: 100 million. Because you are single-minded!

3 How many letters are there in English? One?

Answer: 20. AIDS (AIDS) died, and ET (aliens) flew away.

4 Where is it absolutely forbidden to tell jokes?

Answer: The seaside. Because telling jokes on the seaside will cause a tsunami (sea laugh).

5 How much money do I need to bring to go out in typhoon weather?

Answer: 40 million .Because of the typhoon weather, don’t go out unless you have something to do.

6 There is an exam, what books can’t be read?

Answer: Encyclopedia (lose all encyclopedias).

8 Why is the belly of a penguin white?

Answer: Because the penguin’s hands are too short, it can only wash the belly but not the back.

1 Why do healthy couples give birth to babies without eyes? [Answer] Chickens lay eggs

9 If the end of the world is tomorrow, why do some people want to commit suicide today? [Answer] Go to heaven to get a place

10 What does a fat girl say when someone comes to visit her when she is sick? [Answer] Take care of yourself

11 Question: What are you afraid of about cloth and paper?

Answer: The cloth is afraid of ten thousand, and the paper is afraid of the unexpected.

Reason: Not afraid of the ten thousand, but afraid of the unexpected.

12 Question: What is the last name of the pencil? < /p>

Answer: Xiao

Reason: Sharpen (Xiao) pencil

13 Question: What will the unicorn become when it reaches the North Pole?

Answer : Ice cream.

Reason: Ice cream (Ice Kirin)

14 Question: Which number from 1 to 9 is the most diligent and which one is the laziest?

Answer: 1 Lazy; 2 Hardworking

Reasons: One (1) does not do two (2) does not stop

15 Question: How to calm the sparrow?

Answer: Press it.

Reason: Silence.

16 Question: Who is the fastest runner in history?

Answer: Cao Cao

Reason: It is said that Cao Cao arrived

17 Question: Which number from 30 to 50 is more powerful than a bear’s poop!

Answer: 40

Reason: Facts speak louder than a (bear) argument

18 Question: What should I do if a pig escapes from the pigsty?

Answer: Wang Leehom

Reason: coaxing in

19 Question: What should I do if it comes out again?

Answer: Han Hong

Reason: Still coaxing

20 Funny Brain Teasers---------------- ---A bear without a tail is a tail bear. What kind of bear is a bear without a penis?

Answer: She-Bear

21 Funny Brain Teasers------------------September 28 is the birthday of Confucius, so What day is October 28th?

Answer: Confucius Full Moon

22 Funny Brain Teasers ------------------- The wolf is coming (guess the fruit)?

Answer: Star Tao (Sheep Escape)

23 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Chiang Gong (Chiang Kai-shek) What would the world be like if you were still alive?

Answer: One more person...

24 Funny Brain Teasers------------------These two pieces of ice There are carps down there (four-character idiom)?

Answer: Polite (there are carps in the ice)

25 Funny Brain Teasers------------- ------Why can tofu hurt people?

Answer: Because it is frozen tofu

26 Funny Brain Teasers------------ -------An ant actually crawled from Sichuan to Tokyo, is it possible?

Answer: Crawling on the map

27 Funny Brain Teasers------ -------------A bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why was Xiao Ming okay?

Answer: Because he was not in the car

28 Funny Brain Teasers------------------There is a place that can be entered or exited. What is this place?

Answer: Grave

29 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Chicken and goose run a 100-meter race. The chicken runs faster than the goose, but why does it arrive at the finish line later? Station?

Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction

30 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Class Bell East It rang, but no classmates were in the classroom, what happened?

Answer: It’s a physical education class

31 Funny Brain Teasers--------- ----------Why can Xiao Ming stop the car with one hand?

Answer: The car is a taxi

32 Funny Brain Teasers---- ---------------Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but her teacher praises her as one of the best in mathematics. Why?

Answer: Count from one to two

33 Funny Brain Teasers------------------What did Columbus do next after he stepped into the New World?

Answer: Step on the other foot

34 Funny Brain Teasers------------------What is something that people keep eating forever? Not enough to eat.

Answer: Air

35 Funny Brain Teasers------------------How to make eyebrows grow in eyes under?

Answer: Handstand

36 Funny Brain Teasers -------------------Everyone must not forget before going to bed What's the matter?

Answer: Close your eyes

37 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Some people say that eating fish can prevent you from getting sick. Myopia, why?

Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wearing eyes?

38 Funny Brain Teasers------------------What can be added? Can’t reduce?

Answer: Age

39 Funny Brain Teasers -------------------What kind of mountains and seas can move< /p>

Answer: A sea of ??people

40 What thing has no tongue in its mouth

Answer: A teapot spout

41 Funny brain teasers---- ---------------What kind of official can't give orders but still has to laugh at others all the time?

Answer: Xinlangguan

42 Funny Brain Teasers -------------------A policeman jumped out when he saw a thief Just run, why?

Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly

43 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Xiao Ming eats chewing gum every day , but others still say he has bad breath, why?

Answer: He swears every day.

44 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Why can frogs jump higher than trees?

Answer: Because he is standing on a tree and jumping

45 "You are standing with a pig", guess an animal

Answer: Elephant (like)

46 The train from Beijing to Shanghai takes 6 hours. After 3 hours of travel, where should the train be?

Answer: On the tracks

47 Old Wang shaved forty or fifty times a day, but he still had a beard on his face. What is the reason?

Answer: Lao Wang is a barber

48 In winter, the baby is afraid of the cold and refuses to take off his hat when he gets inside. But when he saw someone, he took off his hat obediently. Who was that person?

Answer: Barber

49 What flowers cannot be touched

Answer: Sparks

50 How long does it take to study at Peking University

Answer: One second

51 What kind of fruit cannot be eaten? Disaster

52 Why did a policeman run away when he saw a thief? Because he wanted to catch the thief quickly

53 The two brothers who looked the same were drafted into the army at the same time. They were related by blood and had the same birth date and parents' names. The company commander asked them if they were twins. They said no. May I ask why?

Answer: Two of the triplets

54 There were two prisoners in the prison. One night all the prisoners escaped, but the next day the guard opened the cell door and took a look. , there is another prisoner inside?

Answer: The name of the escaped prisoner is "Quan Quan".

55What can be used to solve all the mysteries?

Answer: Answer

56 In today's society, what do most self-employed people who make a fortune rely on for a living?

Answer: Mouth

57 Six-year-old Xiao Ming always likes to break the alarm clock at home. Why does his mother always ask his father, who cannot repair clocks, to repair it for him?

Answer: Because his mother asks his father to repair Xiao Ming

58When will the clock in Times Square ring 13 times?

Answer: When it’s time to repair

59 What is the first thing everyone needs to do when they wake up in the morning?

Answer: Open your eyes

60 A truck driver knocked down a motorcyclist. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was okay?

Answer: The truck driver was not driving at the time

61 In ancient times, who became a father-in-law before becoming a father?

Answer: Eunuch

62 Xiao Li drank and hurt his face. When he went home, he was afraid that his wife would scold him if he found out. I was scolded by my wife, why?

Answer: Band-Aid on the mirror

63 If ??someone asks you for directions, which sentence are you most afraid of hearing?

Answer: Is this the earth?

What kind of game in 64, the winner does not get a prize, but the loser does?

Answer: Boxing and drinking

65When someone knocks on the door, you will never say please come in?

Answer: When going to the toilet

66 When Xiao Wang was standing guard at the outpost, he clearly saw an enemy approaching him quietly, but why did he turn a blind eye? ?

Answer: Aiming at the target

67 Is the black chicken more powerful or the white chicken? Why?

Answer: The black chicken is powerful and can lay white eggs. Chickens cannot lay black eggs.

68 Mr. Xu made a big mistake. When he took out his pocket in front of his wife, some bar matchboxes, unwon lottery tickets, and photos of his old lover were all scattered on the ground. When he was panicking, in order to avoid a quarrel, he immediately covered something with his hands.

Please tell me, what will he cover?

Answer: Cover your wife’s eyes

69 A turtle is famous for carrying a cross (four-character idiom)?

Answer: Well deserved (Cross Named Turtle)

70 Why do people like to read comics?

Answer: Boring

On the 71 bus, two people were having a lively conversation, but the onlookers could not hear a word. Why?

Answer: This is a pair of deaf-mute people

72 Mrs. Jin has always been outspoken, but what happened to make her suddenly hesitant?

Answer: Mrs. Jin hesitated while eating sugar cane

73 Some people often jump from a height of ten meters without any safety devices. Why?

Answer: High diving

74 Why do everyone like to sit and watch movies?

Answer: Because standing and watching will make your feet sore.

75 What will be the impact of abolishing morning self-study?

Answer: Sleep less for half an hour

76 Let the tortoise and the hare race, and let the pig be the referee. Who will win, the tortoise and the hare?

Answer: Can’t say! The person who said it is a pig...

77 What is the similarity between what two women said and what a thousand ducks said?

Answer: Nonsense (chicken) talk

78 When taking the joint entrance examination, besides the admission ticket, what is the most important thing?

Answer: Remember to get up

79 What does a man and a woman become?

Answer: Two people

80 What is the difference between a new husband and a newly bought dog?

Answer: The new dog will be seen after one year You are still very excited

81 A bear without a tail is a tail bear, and a bear without a penis is what kind of bear?

Answer: Female Bear

82 September 28 is the birthday of Confucius, so what day is October 28?

Answer: Confucius Full Moon

83 The wolf is coming (guess the fruit)?

Answer: Star Tao (Sheep Flee)

84 What would the world be like if Jiang Gong (Chiang Kai-shek) was still alive?

Answer: One more person...

85 Are there carps under these two pieces of ice (four-character idiom)?

Answer: Polite (Bingbing) There are carps)

86 Why can tofu hurt people?

Answer: Because it is frozen tofu

87 An ant actually crawled from Sichuan to Tokyo, maybe

Answer: Climbing up the map

88 A bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why was Xiao Ming okay?

Answer: Because he is not in the car

There is a place in 89 that can be entered or exited. What is this place?

Answer: Grave

90 Chicken and goose 100-meter race, the chicken runs faster than the goose, why does it arrive at the finish line later?

Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction

91 The class bell rang in the east , but no classmates are in the classroom. What's going on?

Answer: I am in physical education class

92Why can Xiao Ming stop the car with one hand?

Answer: The car is a taxi

93 Lingling has never learned arithmetic, but the teacher praises her as one of the best in mathematics. Why?

Answer: From 1 Count to two

94 When Columbus stepped into the New World with one foot, what did he do next?

Answer: Take the second foot

95 Yes A pig rushed out of the pig pen at a speed of 80M per hour, suddenly hit a tree and died. Why?

Answer: Because pigs can’t do brain teasers

96 The farmer has a pig and a donkey at home. During the Chinese New Year, do you think the farmer should kill the pig or the donkey first?

Answer: Would you rather kill a pig (silly pig) or a donkey (silly donkey)

97 One night you were walking at night, and suddenly a wolf came in front of you, and a wolf came from behind. A ghost, you only have a bow in your hand, but only a sword. Do you shoot the ghost first and then kill the wolf?

Answer: You shoot ghosts (color

Ghost) or shooting wolf (pervert)

98 Why no temples were built in the southern hemisphere?

Because "Namo" Amitabha

Which of the 99 May flowers and lilies has not given birth to a child?

Mayflower → Because Mayflower toilet paper (without giving birth to a child)

Which cartoon character in 100 is the fattest?

Peter Pan → Because he is fat (flying), fat, Peter Pan

101 How to make a sparrow quiet? Answer: Squeeze it. Reason: Silence (overwhelming silence)

102 If there is a car, Xiao Ming is the driver, Xiao Hua sits on his right, and Xiao Hua sits behind him, whose car does it belong to? Answer: "If "

103 Four people were playing mahjong in the house. The police came and took away 5 people. Why? Answer: Because the person they play is called "Mahjong"

104 Why does the plane fly so high without hitting the stars? Answer: Because the stars will "flash"

105 One day, he was walking on the street with a medium-rare steak. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him.

Why didn't they say hello? Answer: Because they are not familiar with each other

106 Two people fell into a trap. The dead people are called dead people, and what are the living people called? Answer: Call for help

107 A shark ate a mung bean. What did it become? Answer: Mung Bean Paste (Mung Bean Shark)

108 Is Dandan the name of a puppy or a tiger cub? Answer: Little tiger (eyes eagerly)

109 Who is the mother of the chicken? Answer: Paper Helicopter (Paper Chicken)

110 There are ABCD... 26 letters. How many letters are left after ET leaves? Answer: 21 ET drove away the UFO

111 What is the name of the child of the wind? Answer: Shuiqi (Wind and Water Qi)