Happy time in the morning.

1. If I can lose weight by thinking, I may only have my soul now!

When I was a child, I wrote essays to help the elderly. Now that I think about it, I'm so bold!

It is said that marriage is the grave of love, but if there is no house, you can't even get into the grave.

There are always many unexpected things in life. For example, do you think I should give an example?

5. What is friendship? I changed it after graduation.

Four cell phone numbers. Nobody told me, but my classmates contacted me when they got married!

Only the weak will cry and beg her not to leave when they break up. We strong people usually kneel on the ground and hold each other's thighs so that she can't move.

Seven. gelid

Three feet was not built in a day, belly.

Three layers a day is not greedy.

8. Now men, what qualifications and elder sister said to grow old together? I'm completely bald before I grow gray hair.

9. The ideal love is like this: the vine is old and the tree is faint. There are fish and shrimp for dinner, heated by mobile phone, and the sun sets. You are ugly, it's okay, I'm blind!

10. Sometimes, without going all out, you don't even know what despair is.

XI。 I learned another truth: humor is the best way out when a person is not very good-looking.

12. I advise some girls wandering around the scenic spots to be more self-respecting: the antlers they wear are as frozen as they are. Just go to the vegetable market and steal two pieces of ginger.

13. I bought a new mobile phone with a face recognition unlock screen. Sometimes the failure of unlocking tells me that the face matching is unsuccessful, and I can accept it. Sometimes it is too much to say that no face is detected!

14. If a girl doesn't even take a selfie, she is either jealous of beauty or ugly.

15. Anything you like is basically available.

One of the three characteristics. It's too expensive, too easy to get fat, and I don't want to hear from you again.

I know you don't like me, and you always want to scold me. Actually, it's all because you don't know me well enough If one day you know me well, you will be tempted to hit me.

I like wasting money very much, but I have no money, so I can only choose to waste time, because time is money. A waste of time is procrastination. You see, I'm procrastinating on the surface, but I'm actually showing off my wealth.

18. Although my salary is not high, I am good at saving money. When you see something you like, you can always bite your teeth and hold back from buying it. For example, I just took a fancy to a helicopter, and then I thought it was cost-effective to squeeze the bus, saving tens of millions.

19. Can you exercise your weight, for example, 100 or more?

About 20

two

The night before the exam, no one in our dormitory read a book. They finished reading it, but I was relieved.

2 1. When I was shopping, the security guard at the door called me, "Wait a minute, what's in your bulging clothes?" I lifted my coat angrily and shouted, "it's meat, it's meat!" My own. "

Twenty-two At the company dinner, the leader praised me in front of everyone and said that thanks to my frequent lateness, I had the funds for this activity.

Twenty-three It is said that girls are beautiful only if they are confident, but who is a beautiful girl who is not confident?

Twenty-four Marriage is like this. Find the right person, and be romantic for a lifetime; I've got the wrong person. I've been talking about swords all my life!