24 little jokes that make people laugh until they cramp.

1. Earning money is 1 and spending money is 1. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.

2. My mother looked at a relative's beautiful daughter and said to me: People look like they have done it, but you look like you have been sitting on it!

3. Eating together is called spelling rice, and going home together is called carpooling. You give me the rest of your life and live together. It's called despair.

Ma Yun once said: A person's career is inversely proportional to his appearance. I can't bear to look in the mirror. It seems that I am doomed to accomplish nothing in my life.

5. Many people don't seem to understand that being thin means that people will look thinner, and fat people should be fat or fat.

6. Be brave to pursue the person you like, so that you know that there is far more than one person who refuses you.

7. Now "good night" means, don't blindly BB with me, I will continue to play with my mobile phone now. Say good night to each other and stay up late.

After the English listening test, I understood a truth: some words are only for people who understand.

9. Stop talking about the ideal of meeting the right person at the best age. I just want to get something for nothing at the best age, and I can surf and lie around at any time.

10. Don't talk to me, because I don't understand. In others' eyes, I am stupid to quarrel with a pig.

1 1. I went home for dinner yesterday and wore a new skirt. I said shamelessly in front of my dad, "Dad, look how beautiful your daughter is!" " As a result, my father gave my mother a squint and said faintly, "If your father had married a beautiful wife more than 20 years ago, you would be more beautiful now."

12. I called the mobile customer service today, and the customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you." I said, "You are happy too early." Then I hung up.

13. Princess disease has two reasons: ugliness or poverty. What about the beautiful and rich one? Come on, that's not a disease, that's a princess.

14. No one looks down on you because others don't look at you at all. Wash and sleep, everyone is busy.

15. In fact, I've always wanted to say three words to you, but I'm afraid even ordinary friends can't do it, and I still can't help it. Today, I have to say, "Give me my money back!" "

16. Don't always say that you lost at the starting line. The starting line of others is the end you will never reach.

17. Poverty is not terrible. The terrible thing is that the poor person is me; Poor man, I'm not terrible. The terrible thing is that only I am poor.

18. As the saying goes, people are iron, rice is steel, and beds are magnets.

19. Someone confessed to me. How can I refuse him to minimize the damage? God replied: Just ask your child's opinion before you go home.

20. It is not necessarily the prince who rides the white horse, but the Tang Priest; Those who have wings are not necessarily angels, but also birdmen!

2 1. What's wrong with being ugly? As long as I don't look in the mirror, it's not me who is disgusting.

22. What is the most local tyrant you have ever seen? Let me tell you one. Today, I saw a man go to the business hall to charge the phone bill and asked how much it was. He glanced at the clerk and said, it's full!

23. Every holiday, you will gain three kilograms. Take a closer look at three kilograms. Try hard to lose weight for half a year, and you will succeed in the New Year.

24. It's not easy to be a man: you need grades before 18, objects after 18, children after you have objects, children's grades after you have children, and children after 18 are all laymen. Why bother each other?