Tell me a wake-up joke

The kindergarten started, and many children were sent there. After the parents left, the children cried and fussed, almost like a pig slaughterhouse! At this time, there was only one child squatting in the corner of the dome. The teacher was about to praise him. As soon as he approached, the child snatched the teacher's cell phone with lightning speed and picked up the phone without even dialing the number. Just crying into the mobile phone: "Dad, come and save me! I was betrayed by my mother..."

A vampire bat returned with his face covered in blood. The other bats said with envy: Where did you go? Sucked so much blood? The bat raised his eyes: Well, have you seen the tree in front of you? The bats said: I saw it. "But I didn't see..."

My brother was sitting on the subway, and a strange aunt sat next to him. The phone rang, and the aunt answered the call, and said to the phone very cheerfully: Ah, I don't have time tonight. My car broke down and I was taking the subway. I found a handsome guy and I'm going to book a room! The crowded car fell silent for an instant... I glanced at the aunt beside me, and when I turned back, I found that everyone in the car was staring at me

The six artifacts that interest men are: 1. Leopard print 2. Short skirt 3. Stockings 4. Boots 5. Steel pipe 6. Seductive eyes. There is only one person who meets this condition, and that is Sun Wukong

Ge Liang commanded the battle, and every time he rode a chariot alone to follow the army. Once during the battle, as soon as the battle started, Liang took the lead in driving towards the enemy. The morale of the enemy's army was greatly boosted, and they followed closely and defeated the enemy's army. After the war, everyone praised: "The military commander is brave!!" Liang said: "Oh, the slope is too steep, I didn't stop the car..."