Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Scholar Jin Fan quoted the complete version.
Scholar Jin Fan quoted the complete version.
Zhou Xuedao is a scholar, and he is really talented and knowledgeable. The butcher's murder caused good news.
It is said that Zhou Jin wanted to see Hiram Hospital in the provincial capital, but now he is real, so he had to spend a few pence to go with him. I didn't want to see the word "day", so I ran underground. They all panicked, only knowing that they were possessed for a while. The host said: "I think it's because no one has arrived in this yard for a long time, and it's cloudy." That's why Zhou's guests are possessed. "Jin Youyou said," xian dong! "I'll help him. You can go to the worker and give him water on an excuse." The host brought water as promised, and three or four guests held it together and poured it down. I giggled in my throat and spit out thick saliva. "All right," they said. Help stand up. Zhou Jin looked at the number plate and hit it again; I didn't die this time, and I was in tears. Everyone can't persuade. Jin Youyou said, "Look, isn't this crazy?" Come and play in Hiram Hospital. No one in your family died. Why are you crying? "Zhou Jin didn't hear it, just squatting on the signboard and crying; No.1 cried, and then cried until No.2 and No.3, and rolled all over the floor. People crying and rolling were very sad. This is not a problem for today, and his master partners are holding his arm around. He got up, cried for a while, and cried for a while until blood came out of his mouth. Too many cooks and people carried him out and sat in a tea shed in front of hiram Hospital to persuade him to have a bowl of tea. You have a runny nose and tears, and you are sad.
A guest asked, "What is Zhou thinking? Why did he come here to cry? " Jin Youyou said, "You old guests don't know. My uncle is not a businessman. " Because he has studied hard for decades, the scholar has never done anything. Today, when he saw Gong Yuan, he didn't feel sad. Just because this sentence tells the truth of Zhou Jin, he ignored everyone and burst into tears again. Another guest said: "In this case, we are the only responsibility." Since Zhou Xiangfu is a gentle man, why did you bring him out to do such a thing? "Jin Youyou said," that's just for the poor, there is no place to do it. There is no choice but to take this road. " Another guest said, "Look at your uncle. After all, it is good to learn from the chest; "No one can recognize him, so he is very wronged in this respect." Jin Youyou said: "He is talented, but he is unlucky!"
The guest said, "Guo-zi-jian diploma can also come in. Since Zhou Xiang is a public talent, why not donate him as a supervisor? " Now that we have entered the arena, let's not waste our worries today. Jin Youyou said, "I thought so, too, but there is a sum of money there?" At this moment, Zhou Jin cried. "It's not difficult," said the guest. "Now my brothers are here, and each of them took out dozens of taels of silver and lent it to Zhou Xianggong for admission. How much money will we get if you win the office? Even if Zhou Xianggong doesn't pay it back, how much money have we lost there? Besides, it's a good thing. What do you think? " "Everyone said with one voice," The beauty of a gentleman as an adult. " "If you don't act according to justice, it's because you are not brave," he added. Why not? I just don't know if Zhou Xianggong is willing to bow down. Zhou Jin said, "If I do this, I will be reborn like my parents. If I become a donkey and a horse, I will take it! " I knocked my head several times when I climbed underground. They also attended the ceremony. Jin Youyou also thanked everyone and ate several bowls of tea. Zhou Jin stopped crying, talked and laughed with everyone, and returned to the team.
The next day, the four guests did prepare two hundred and twenty pieces of silver and paid more than gold; All the extra expenses are paid by money. Zhou Jin thanked everyone and today, the host prepared a table of wine for Zhou Jin and invited all the guests. Jin Youyou took the money and went to the governors' treasury to beg for it. When the master came to this province to record his heritage, Zhou Jin recorded the first volume of Gong Jian. On the eighth day of August, when I entered the first stage, I was overjoyed to see where I was crying.
There has been a saying since ancient times,' People are happy when they are happy.' Those seven words are made of flowers; Out of the field, still living in the industry. Jin Youyou and those guests haven't finished buying the goods. I won the lottery until the day it was announced. Everyone loved it and went back to Wenshang County to pay homage to their parents and teachers. Classical history to congratulate him on the position of a deceased student. Wenshang County people, not relatives, also come to recognize relatives; No, I'm looking for Joseph, too. Busy for a month, Shen Xiangfu heard about it, called the members in Xueji, bought four chickens, fifty eggs, and some fried rice balls, and personally came to congratulate him. Zhou Jin kept him for wine and rice. Needless to say, master Xun's gift. Try to go to Beijing and buy clothes, which is more than enough to buy him a place. I went to Beijing to have a try, and won the third place in the Jinshi and Palace Examination, and was appointed as a subordinate.
Three years later, he was promoted to the imperial history and was appointed to study Taoism in Guangdong. This week, Xuedao invited several "xianggong" readers to read the article, but he thought, "I have suffered here for a long time. Now that I am in power, I need to read all the newspapers carefully without listening to the audience. I am really talented. " I made up my mind to take my post in Guangzhou.
The next day, Hangxiang went public, and he first took two students. The third scene is children in Nanhai and Panyu counties. Sitting in the class, Zhou Xuedao saw young boys come in, young, old, well-dressed, shortsighted, well-dressed and ragged. Finally, a boy came in, sallow and emaciated, with a gray beard and a broken felt hat on his head. Although the climate in Guangdong is warm, it is1early February; The boy, still dressed in linen, begged, cringed with cold, and walked to the number with paper.
Zhou Xuedao looked in his heart and closed the door. When I came out to put the first card, I sat on it and saw the boy in linen coming to hand in the paper. The clothes were rotten and tore several pieces. Zhou Xuedao, look at yourself, wearing a robe and a ribbon. How smart is it? He looked through the roster and asked the boy, "Are you Jin Fan?" Jin Fan knelt down and said, "Tong Sheng is". Xuedao: "How old are you this year?" Jin Fan said: "The boy's book says he is thirty, but the boy is actually fifty-four." Xuedao: "How many times did you take the exam?" Jin Fan said, "Tong Sheng took the exam at the age of 20 and has taken it more than 20 times so far." Learn: "How come you never go to school?" Jin Fan said: "It is always because Tong Sheng's writing is absurd, so your masters have never won it." Zhou Xuedao: "Not necessarily." Go outside and wait to read the paper carefully. "Jin Fan kowtowed to.
It was still early at that time, and no students handed in their papers. Zhou Xuedao carefully read Jin Fan's paper. I don't like it in my heart. "What are these words talking about? No wonder you don't go to school. " Put it aside and stop looking. After sitting for a while, no one came to hand in the paper. He thought, "Look at Jin Fan's paper again." If there is a glimmer of light, pity his hard work. "I read it from beginning to end and felt a little interesting; I was about to watch it again when a boy came to hand in his papers.
The boy knelt down and said, "I want an interview." Snow Road and Yan Road: "Your writing style is already here. What are you interviewing for? " Male students said: "Male students know poetry and songs like the back of their hands. I beg you to give me an interview. " Xuedao changed his face and said, "Today's emperors attach importance to articles, so why talk about Han and Tang Dynasties?" People like you should only make a fuss with your heart; What do you want to learn from those mixed eyes? Besides, I'm here to talk about miscellaneous research with you, because I was ordered to write this article. Seeing that you are so famous and unpractical, your business will naturally go to waste. It's all unintentional words. I can't stand it! Left and right! Kicked out! "I commanded, a few workers from both sides, across the boy's shoulder, stumbled all the way to the gate. Although Zhou Xuedao kicked him out, he also took a look at the paper. The boy's name is Wei, and his handwriting is clear. Learning style: "Let's take him to school. "Because I took the pen, I clicked at the end of the paper to remember it. I picked up Jin Fan's paper and looked at it. I sighed. "I can't understand this kind of writing after reading it once or twice. It was not until three times that I realized that this was a masterpiece between heaven and earth. This is really a word and a pearl! "It can be seen that the world is so chaotic that I don't know how many talents have been destroyed!" Busy picked up the pen and circled it carefully, and added three circles on the surface of the paper, which was filled in the first place; He also took Wei's paper and filled in the twentieth place. Collect all the volumes and bring them in. Jin Fan is the first mountain case. On that day, I gave a real compliment. At the age of twenty, Wei went up, encouraged a few words of "doing business with heart, dropping out of school and reading miscellaneous books", preached it and sent it out. The next day, Jin Fan got off the horse and was sent three miles away alone to salute in front of the sedan chair. Zhou Xuedao called him again and said, "The dragon head is an old man." So, look at what you wrote, the fire is here; It is in this discipline that we must develop. I'll wait for you in Beijing after the phone call. "Fan4 jin4 kowtow again and stood up. Learn to sedan chair, ran away. Jin Fan stood there until he saw the shadow of the door brush the hill in front, but he was out of sight. He just went back to a lower place and thanked his master. His home is still 45 miles from the city. He came back all night to visit his mother.
There is a thatched cottage and a shawl at home. Outside the door is a thatched shed. The main room is where the mother lives and the wife lives in the bedroom. His wife is the daughter of a butcher who collects beards. Fan came home from school, and his mother and wife were very happy. While he was cooking, his husband Hu came in with a large intestine and a bottle of wine in his hand. Jin Fan bowed to him and sat down. Butcher nonsense: "I am really unlucky to marry my daughter to you, a poor man." I don't know how tired I am these years. " "I don't know what I have accumulated now, so I brought you a bottle of wine to congratulate you." Jin Wei Fan repeatedly asked his wife to cook intestines, make hot wine and sit under the hut. Mother-in-law is cooking under the kitchen. Butcher Hu also said to his son-in-law: "Since you have been rewarded by the" xianggong ",you must set up a proper system for everything. For example, in my industry, all decent people are your distant relatives. How dare you pretend to be big in front of us If these farmers and dung pickers at home are just ordinary people, if you bow to him equally, it will be a violation of school rules and a disgrace to my face. You are a smelly, honest and useless person, so I have to teach you these words so as not to make people laugh. " Jin Fan said, "What my father-in-law learned is." Hu Butcher added, "My mother also came here to sit on the mountain. The old man is very sad to eat a small meal every day. Daughter also eats some; I haven't eaten lard for two or three times in these decades since I entered your house. Poor thing! Poor thing! " After that, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law came to sit and eat. In the middle of the night, butcher Hu was drunk. There are two mothers and children here, thank you very much. The butcher put on his clothes and left with his stomach down.
The next day, Jin Fan should visit his neighbors. Wei made an appointment with another friend in the same situation. Because it was the year after the provincial examination, I held several meetings. Unconsciously, at the end of June, these co-defendants let Fan enter the provincial examination. If you didn't have the money, you went to discuss it with your father-in-law. As a result, Hu slapped the dog and scolded him: "Don't get carried away! You just think you won a "xianggong", so' Toad wants to eat swan fart!' I've heard people say that even when Mr. Xiang was in China, it wasn't your article, but the master gave it to you because he saw you were old. Now I think of your master when I doubt it! These masters of Chinese studies are all satellites in the sky; Didn't you see that the gentlemen of the Zhang family in the city are all rich in furniture and rich in all aspects? Like you, take a piss and take care of yourself; No, no, no, just like a swan! Take this heart as soon as possible. Next year, in our work, we will find you a museum and earn a few taels of silver every year to support your old woman and your wife. You asked me to borrow the toll. I kill a pig a day and still can't make money. I threw all my money into the water and let my family drink the northwest wind. "A meal was sandwiched between seven or eight people, and Jin Fan was too embarrassed to even touch the door.
When I came back from my father-in-law's resignation, I thought, "My grandfather said my temperature has reached." There has never been a juror outside the court since ancient times. How can you be satisfied if you don't go in and give him a test? "I went to the city for inspection after consulting several co-defendants and didn't tell my father-in-law. Leave the venue and go home at once. The family has been hungry for two or three days; Butcher Hu found out and scolded again.
On the day the list was published, there was no breakfast at home. My mother told Jin Fan, "I have a hen that lays eggs. You should take it to the collection and sell it. Buy a few liters of rice to cook porridge. I am so hungry that I can't see! " Jin Fan quickly hugged the chicken and walked out the door. Less than two hours later, I heard a gong and three Ma Chong horses came in. The three men got off the horse, tied the horse to the thatched shed and shouted, "Please ask Master Fan to come out quickly. Congratulations to high school! " Mom didn't know what it was, so she was scared to hide in the house. As soon as I listened, I dared to lean out and say, "Please sit down, the child has just gone out." The reporter said, "It turned out to be an old lady." Everyone gathered around for money. Noisy, a few horses reported two or three, people crowded a room, and the thatched shed was all underground. Neighbors crowded in to watch. The old lady had no choice but to invite her neighbors to find her son. Neighbors went to collect it, but they couldn't find it anywhere; I went directly to the eastern end of Jidong, where I saw Jin Fan walking around with a chicken and a straw label in his hand, looking around and looking for someone to buy it. The neighbor said, "Fan Xianggong, come back quickly!" Congratulations on your promotion. The bearer of good news squeezed into a room. "Fan Jindao was trying to coax him, just pretend not to hear, and made her way forward with her head down. Neighbors will take the chicken away from him when they see him ignoring him. Jin Fan said, "Why did you take my chicken? You won't believe it. The neighbor said, "You won the prize and were told to go home and sign up. Jin Fan said, "Gao Lin, you know I have no food today. I want to sell this chicken to save my life. Why are you coaxing me with this? "I won't play with you. Go home by yourself, or I'll sell chickens. " When the neighbor saw that he didn't believe him, he made a sudden snatch and grabbed the chicken, slapped it on the ground and pulled it back. The reporter looked at it and said, "Well, the nouveau riche is back!" Just as he was about to hug him, Fan Jinsanliang walked into the room and saw a poster hanging in the middle, which read: "I wish your teacher Fan Qijin, who won the seventh place in Guangdong in the high school examination, and the Beijing newspaper Lian Deng Huang Jia." Jin Fan didn't read it. He looked at it once and again. He clapped his hands and smiled. "ah! All right! I won! " As he spoke, he fell back, gritted his teeth and was unconscious.
The old lady panicked and quickly poured some boiling water. He got up, but he was afraid and shook his hand and smiled: "Hey! All right! I won! " Laughing, I couldn't help myself and flew outside, which surprised reporters and neighbors. Not far from the gate, he kicked in the pond, got up, his hair was loose, his hands were yellow and dripping with water, and no one could stop him. Clap your hands and laugh, and walk all the way to the meeting place.
Everyone stared at each other with eyes wide open. "So the new rich are ecstatic." The old lady cried, "how can there be such retribution! What a' juren' to win this stupid disease! This is crazy. When will it get better? " Mrs. Hu said, "How did you get such a disease when you went out in the morning? What can you do?" Neighbors advised, "Don't panic, old lady. Now we will send two people to follow Master Fan. " Here, everyone took some eggs, wine and rice from home and entertained the gentlemen in the newspaper before having a drink. At present, some neighbors bring eggs, some bring white wine, some carry a bucket of rice, and some catch two chickens. The lady cried, so she cleaned up under the kitchen and took it under the hut. Neighbors moved some tables and stools, asked the registered person to sit down and have a drink, and discussed: "He is crazy, what should I do?" A man in the newspaper said, "I have an idea. I don't know if I can do it? " They asked, "What do you think?" Humanity: "Does Master Fan have the person he fears most? Just because he was so happy, his phlegm rushed up and he lost his mind; Now all he needs is that the person he is afraid of hits him in the mouth and says,' All these recordings are lies, but you didn't win.' He was taken aback and spat, and then he understood. Everyone clapped their hands and said, "What a great idea! Wonderful! What Master Fan is afraid of is nothing more than Grandpa Hu in the meat case. All right! Go find dad Hu! I don't think he knows yet. He sells meat in the supermarket. " Another humanitarian said, "Let him know that selling meat at the rally is a good thing. He has been to Dongtouji to see pigs since the fifth watch and hasn't come back yet. Go and see him quickly! "
A man flew to meet him. On the way, he met Butcher Hu. Then Han, the second cook of soup, came to congratulate him with seven or eight pounds of meat and four or five thousand dollars. I saw the old lady when I entered the door, and the old lady cried and told her. Butcher Hu said in surprise, "Isn't this a blessing?" A voice outside said, "Mr. Hu, please." Butcher Hu gave the meat and money to his daughter and came out. Everyone talked to him like this. Nuts: "Although he is my son-in-law, he is now a master and a star in the sky." The stars in the sky cannot be beaten. I heard Zhai Gong say,' If you hit the stars in the sky, the king will catch and hit a hundred iron bars and send them to eighteen levels of hell, and never turn over.' I dare not do such a thing. "A bitter man in the neighborhood said," That's all! Dad, Hu! You kill pigs for a living every day. The white knife goes in and the red knife comes out. I wonder if Wang asked the judge to write thousands of iron bars in your book. What does it matter even if this 100 clause is added? I'm afraid I can't settle this account after I finish hitting the iron bar! Or did you save your son-in-law's illness, and the king took you from hell to the seventeenth floor, which is unknown! "
The human nature of newspapers: "Don't just tell jokes. Dad Hu, this has to be like this. You can't change the status quo? " The butcher was overwhelmed by the crowd, so he had to drink two bowls of wine, be brave, carefully put these things away, take out his usual ferocious appearance, roll up his greasy sleeves and go to collect the bills, and the neighbors followed. The old lady rushed out and shouted, "in-laws, you can only scare him, not hurt him!" " The neighbor asked, "naturally, why didn't you tell me?" Say, go straight ahead.
When I came to the party, I found Jin Fan standing at the door of a temple. His hair was loose, his face was covered with mud, and one of his shoes ran away. He clapped his hands and shouted, "Bingo! Bingo! " Butcher Hu came up to him viciously and said, "Damn beast! What did you win? " People and neighbors can't help laughing when they see this. I don't want the butcher Hu to be scared after all, although I have the courage to beat him. His hands were already shaking, and he dared not hit him again. Jin Fan fainted because of this mouth, and all the neighbors came forward to wipe his chest and beat his vest.
After half a day, I gradually gasped, my eyes lit up and I was not crazy. They got up by themselves and sat on the bench of a surgeon named Tuoziyao at the gate of the temple. Butcher Hu stood by, feeling a dull pain in his hand. When you look at it yourself, slap it on the back and you will never bend again; I said to myself in annoyance, "Sure enough, satellites in the sky can't beat you. Now the bodhisattva cares! " Think about it, the pain is worse, so I quickly asked the doctor for a plaster to stick it on.
Jin Fan looked at the crowd and said, "Why am I sitting here?" "I've been in a daze for a long time," he added. "Just like in a dream." The neighbor said, "Sir, congratulations to high school! At this moment, some people aroused the phlegm with joy and just spit out a few mouthfuls of phlegm. It doesn't matter. Please hurry home and send a newspaper reporter. " The neighbors said, "Yes. I still remember that I was the seventh in my class. " Jin Fan wiped her hair and asked the doctor to borrow a basin of water to wash her face. A neighbor found this shoe and helped him put it on. Seeing my father-in-law in front of me, I'm afraid I'll scold again. Butcher Hu came forward and said, "My dear husband!" " I didn't dare to be bold just now It was your wife's idea. Let me advise you. "A neighbor said," Master Hu just had a friendly exchange of words. Later, Master Fan will wash his face and wash half a basin of lard! " He added, "Dad, you can't kill pigs tomorrow." Butcher Hu said, "I'm still killing pigs there! With my husband, I'm afraid I can't trust you for the rest of my life? I often say: my good husband is talented and good-looking; Even the lords in Liantoufu are not as decent as my son-in-law. You don't know, I know these people with small eyes! I think my little girl was at home the year before last. When she was in her thirties, many rich people wanted to marry me. I feel my daughter is a little lucky. After all, she is going to marry an old man. Today is really good! " Say and laugh. Everyone laughed and watched Jin Fan wash his face. The doctor brought tea again and went home together. Fan Xian left, followed by Butcher Hu and his neighbors; The butcher saw that the back of his son-in-law's clothes was wrinkled a lot, so he bowed his head and pulled him dozens of times. Arriving at the door, the butcher shouted, "The master has gone back to the house! "When the old lady came out to meet her, she was glad that her son was not crazy. The people asked for the record, and it was already that the family sent thousands of dollars to the butcher and sent it away.
Jin Fan met his mother and thanked her husband. The butcher repeatedly said uneasily, "A few dollars is not enough for you to reward others!" " Jin Fan thanked his neighbor again and was about to sit down when a decent housekeeper flew in with a red poster in her hand and said, "Master Zhang has come to visit Master Fan in New China." Say that finish, the sedan chair arrived at the door. Hutu hurriedly hid in his daughter's room, afraid to come out, and the neighbors dispersed.
Jin Fan was greeted by Xiangshen Zhang, who got off the sedan chair and came in, wearing a gauze cap, a sunflower round neck and golden soap boots. He was born as a juren and served as a magistrate. His nickname is Jing Zhai. Fan Jin let him in, kowtowed in class, and divided the two sides to sit down. Let's talk about it first: "Mr. Shi is here, and I have never been close." Jin Fan said, "I've heard a lot about this old gentleman, but I haven't had a chance to meet him." Xiangshen Zhang said, "I just saw the champion list. Your teacher, Tang Gong of Gaoyao County, is a protege of my ancestors. You and I are good brothers, "Fan Jindao said." It is a shame to be born late; I'm glad to have left the old man's house. "
Xiangshen Zhang looked around his eyes and said, "Poor Mr. Shi." Then the family took a piece of silver and said, "I have no respect." I have five hundred and twenty gifts, and Mr. Shi can see them. " In fact, you can't live in this China residence, and it's not convenient for you to visit it in the future. "My brother has a spare room in Dongmen Street. It's three rooms. Although it is not spacious, it is still clean. I will move to Teacher Shi, and I will ask for advice sooner or later. " Jin Fan repeatedly refused, and Xiangshen Zhang said anxiously: "You and I are happy in the world, just like our closest relatives; If it is, it is a stranger! " Jin Fan took the money and bowed his thanks. After a while, I bowed to say goodbye.
Hu slaughtered the body and didn't dare to come out until he got into the sedan chair. Jin Fan gave the silver to his wife and opened it. It was a white silk silver letter. By the way, I packed two ingots, called Butcher Hu in and handed them to him, saying, "Just now I took my master's heart and brought five thousand dollars. I took more than six taels of silver. " The butcher put the silver in his hand and held out his fist tightly. "Take this," he said. "I once congratulated you, but how can I take it back?" Jin Fan said: "I can see that I still have these two pieces of silver here. When I run out, I will come to the master for reuse." The butcher quickly withdrew his fist and put it on his waist. "Since you have made friends with this master, why should you worry about losing money?" he said. His family is richer than the emperor's! His family is my meat customer. Even if there is nothing to do for a year, the meat should be four or five pounds. Why is it strange to have money? He turned to his daughter and said, "I brought money this morning, but your damn brother refused." I said,' My uncle is not what he used to be. Many people send money to their homes, and I'm afraid he won't take it. If not today! Now I take the money home and scold this short-lived slave! "After chatting for a while, I was grateful and left with my head down and a smile.
Since then, many people have come to flatter him; Some people send farmland, some send shops and houses, and some settle down. The couple come to be servants and seek shelter. In two or three months, Jin Fan's servants and maids all had them, so it goes without saying that Qian Mi. Xiangshen Zhang's family urged to move again. Move to a new house, sing opera, set wine and treat for three days.
On the fourth day, the old lady got up and had a snack. She went to the third room to see her wife Hu, who often wore a silver bun. It's mid-October, and the weather is still warm, wearing a sky-blue satin cover and official green satin ruffles; The governor led his family, daughter-in-law and servant girl to wash the dishes. The old lady looked at it and said, "You sisters-in-law and girls should be careful. These are others' things. Don't break them. " The daughter-in-law at home said, "Old lady, this is someone else's. It belongs to your old man. " The old lady smiled and said, "How can I have these things at home?" The maid and daughter-in-law both said, "Why not? Not only this thing, but also us and this house belong to your old lady! " After hearing this, the old lady looked at the exquisite magnetic bowl and silver-inlaid cups and chopsticks one by one, and said with a smile, "They are all mine!" " Laugh back; Suddenly the sputum came up, which is not a problem of saving. Because of this, there are different teachings:' I will try my best to raise people and become a guest in the autumn wind; People who do a lot of things for their lives are litigators.
I wonder how the old lady's life is? Listen to the next decomposition.
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