Funny joke robbery

Funny joke grab one:

1, previous success is success, not measured by money; Failure now is not failure, but bad luck.

2. I used to swim in a swimsuit; Nowadays, swimsuits are all used for beauty contests.

3. Cucumber used to be eaten in the mouth; Now put the cucumber on your face.

4. It used to be really a beauty or a beauty; Now as long as they are women, they are all beautiful women.

5. In the past, men had long beards; Men have long hair now.

6. In the past, friends had nothing to do with wine and meat; People who have never met once now are called netizens.

7. In the past, a diary was used to record your inner secrets; Nowadays, diaries are used to being put on the internet, which makes people vomit.

8. Children who could not eat their mothers' milk before were unfortunate; It is unfortunate for children who can't eat imported milk powder now.

9. In the past, fathers who preferred sons to daughters had to do B-ultrasound; Now the uneasy father is going to do DNA.

10, before you get pregnant, your husband will feel intoxicated; Now that you are pregnant, the leader will think you are a burden.

Funny joke robbery 2:

1, a beautiful' mm got on the bus, took out a card and swiped it, only to hear a drip. . . . Old age card!

The whole car was shocked and looked at her. MM said disgruntled, what are you looking at? Haven't you seen Tianshan Mu Tong?

The husband who is on vacation sent a short message to his wife. Dear, the wind is roaring and the sea is roaring. I can't help thinking of you at this moment.

When I was in primary school, I thought the latest time in the world was 9: 30. When I got to middle school, I found that there was even more than 10. High school thought I 1 1 didn't sleep at half past one and died the next day. Now I will grin contemptuously. It's only a little after 12. . .

I bought fruit at the fruit stand today and chatted with my colleagues about today's news. The aunt selling fruit asked, Who is Jobs?

Colleague said: selling apples.

Aunt said sadly, alas, the fruit business is not good.

Waiting for the bus at the bus stop in the morning, there is a man and a woman standing next to him. They were talking affectionately when the woman suddenly said something. You have developed limbs. The man said? Am I not well-developed in limbs? ! ?

6. Once in the stock market: Ah! I dropped it again! ! !

Once in the vegetable market: Ah! It's gone up again! ! !

7.Windows display:? You may be the victim of pirated software. No, Microsoft, you are wrong. You are a victim of pirated software.

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