1000 bad jokes

1. Why is Silkworm Baby so rich? ==gt; Because it can spin cocoons (frugal)

2. Why doesn’t the little white rabbit marry the zebra? ==gt; Because Mother Rabbit said that tattoos are not good children

3. When will tw be unified? ==gt; When buying instant noodles (Uniform Instant Noodles)

4. What threads do monkeys not like? ==gt;Parallel lines (because there is no intersectionlt;bananagt;)

5. When chocolate and tomatoes fight, why does chocolate win? ==gt; Because of the chocolate bar

6. What will happen if a shark eats mung beans? ==gt; turned into mung bean paste

7. After the match was burned and entered the hospital, what did it become? ==gt; cotton swab

8. How did Lin Daiyu die? ==gt;Thrown to death (Sister Lin fell from the sky)

9. A pig said: "Come on", give it a piece of food? ==gt;Chocolate

10. Tudou stabbed Baozi fatally, what happened? ==gt; turned into bean paste (killed) buns

11. What animal likes to stick on the wall? ==gt; seal (newspaper)

12. Why do foxes often fall? ==gt; Because foxes are very cunning (slippery feet)

13. Four people were playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police take away 5 people when the police came? ==gt; Because the person they were playing was called "Mahjong"

14. When do you like to drink soda? ==gt; When you are lonely (when you are lonely, you will miss soda)

15. An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea. What happened next? ==gt; It turned into a tea egg

16. There was a male deer. He walked faster and faster. What happened in the end? ==gt; It became a highway

17. One day, Mung Bean committed suicide by jumping off the 5th floor and bleeding a lot. How was it? ==gt; turned into a red bean

18. Why doesn’t the plane hit the stars even if it flies so high? ==gt; Because stars can shine

19. Corn wanted to pursue fashion and had her hair permed. What was the result? ==gt; turned into popcorn

20. What kind of mouse walks on two feet? ==gt;Mickey Mouse

21. What kind of duck walks on two feet? ==gt; All ducks walk on two feet (do you want to talk about Donald Duck)

22. Miss, it’s hard to do business now, why? ==gt; Avian Flu

23. What kind of person cannot work at a gas station? ==gt; A person with a slippery tone (the oil gun slips off)

24. Are dumplings a boy or a girl? ==gt; Boys have foreskins because their dumplings

25. People in golden clothes==gt; A shocking (gold) man

26. A bee stings On the wall calendar==gt; wind (bee) and sunshine (calendar)

27. A bear came over==gt; come prepared (bear comes)

28 , Don’t drop your mobile phone into the toilet==gt; Don’t miss the opportunity (wet)

29. There are ten sheep, nine of them are squatting in the sheepfold==gt; Ups and downs (one sheep squats wrong)

30. How to quiet a sparrow? ==gt; Press it (silence)

31. What kind of sword is the transparent sword? ==gt; invisible (sword)

32. What do African cannibal chiefs eat? Answer: Cannibalism. So why should the chief be a vegetarian? ==gt;Eat plants

33. Why are there no dinosaurs now? ==gt; Dinosaur went to make a movie

34. Xiaobai is very similar to his brother, do you know why? ==gt; Really like Dabai

35. How about having an egg go swimming in the Songhua River? ==gt; turned into preserved egg

p> 36. One of the eggs ran to Shandong. How about it? ==gt; Became a Lu (stewed) egg

37. How about an egg that is homeless? ==gt; turned into a wild egg

38. An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground. How about it? ==gt; turned into a guided (inverted) bomb

39. An egg ran into the flowers. How about it? ==gt;Become a Hua Dan

40. How about swimming in the Dead Sea with an egg? ==gt; Became a Salted Egg Superman

41. Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua went to the beach to compete and tell jokes. After telling the jokes, they died. Why? ==gt; Because of the tsunami (laughing)

42. Why don’t men go out? ==gt; Because as soon as you go out, you become a layman

43. Why can’t you see God’s dick? ==gt; The secret (Tianji) cannot be leaked

44. Why is there only the tip of the iceberg? ==gt; Because the other horn was broken by the Titanic

45. How to prevent the duck from flying away? ==gt;Give it a wing (It’s hard to fly with wings)

46. Whose house doesn’t have a phone? ==gt;天衣 (天衣无phone means telephone)

47. Ma Jiajue once said to me in private: "A knife that is extremely blunt is the most lethal." Why? ==gt; Because it is a hammer

48. Why did Chang'e rush to the moon? ==gt; Hou Yi shoots for nine days, even an immortal can't stand it

49. Xiao Hei, Xiao Bai, Xiao Huang and Xiao Hong are on a plane. Who will faint and vomit? ? ==gt; Little White Rabbit (vomit)

50. A fat man jumped from a tall building. What happened? ==gt; Became a dead fat man

51. Two people fell into a trap. The dead people are called dead people, and what are the living people called? ==gt;Help

52. Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin? ==gt; Eraser (Eraser difference)

53. What are cloth and paper afraid of? ==gt; Not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, only (paper) afraid of just in case

54. The guest below is the pride of our Chinese men. He is a singer. Guess who it is? ==gt; Ancient Giant Chicken

55. Which song has "Coin Lee" in its lyrics? ==gt; The moon represents my heart (Coin Li, how deeply I love you)

56. Why does Harry Potter live in a light bulb? ==gt; Because Harry Potter is a wizard (Tungsten)

57. Which unicorn is the most delicious? ==gt;ice cream

58. Which unicorn is the fastest? ==gt; Michelin (tires)

59. Causes of constipation (name a foreign star) ==gt; Stallone (the shit is too thick)

60. City and countryside , where the river is relatively strong? ==gt; In the countryside, because the river in the countryside is too urgent (why is it too urgent to fry each other)

61. Which word is the coolest among A, B, C, D, E, Ji, Geng and Xin? ==gt;Ding (Thong)

62. There is a room where pigeons will hide==gt;I hide your song (pigeon) on the roof

63. What should you do at 12 o'clock in the evening? ==gt; Cramming, because cramming at the moment of (zero)

64. Police, gangster or soldier, which one is the thinnest? ==gt; Rogue (Professor Rogue - thinner)

65. There was an idiot who took off the toilet on the plane and threw it out. Guess why? ==gt; Because he is an idiot

66. How many brothers does Aladdin have? ==gt; Three (Ala Jia, Ala B, Ala B)

67. A group of eunuchs (in other versions, a group of women) are chatting. Guess an idiom ==gt; Nonsense (nothing) Chicken Talk)

68. The value of a heart

How much? ==gt; One hundred million (wholeheartedly)

69. Which one is dumb, the sun, the moon, or the stars? ==gt;Stars (The stars in the sky don’t speak - Lu Binghua)

69. What is the last name of Pencil? ==gt;Xiao! Sharpen the pencil!

70. What color is the best to imitate? Red (Moulin) Imitation

71. Who will help you refill your meal when you are full? ==gt; Flying dragon, because flying dragon is adding to the sky! !

72. A puppy died while traveling in the desert. How did he die? ==gt; He suffocated to death because there were no telephone poles to pee in the desert

A puppy traveled in the desert and found a telephone pole, but ended up suffocating to death. Why? ==gt; "No peeing allowed here" is posted on the pole.

A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a pole. There was nothing posted on it, but it still suffocated to death. Why? ? ==gt; Many puppies were waiting in line, but they didn’t wait

A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There was nothing attached to it, and he got in line, but he still suffocated to death. Why? ==gt; Because there are two beautiful dog girls behind him, he is embarrassed

A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There was nothing posted on it. There was no dog girl, but he still suffocated to death. Why? ==gt; What it wanted to do was defecate, and it didn’t bring any paper

A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There was nothing attached to it, and there was a queue, and there was no dog behind it. MM, I also brought paper, but it still choked to death. Why? ==gt; It is dying of constipation

73. Who among the wolf, tiger and lion will definitely be eliminated when playing the game? ==gt; wolf, because - Momotaro (eliminating the wolf)

74. Which historical figure is the least flattering? ==gt;Su Wu Muyang Beihai Beach (Bian Hai)

75. Which figure in history ran the fastest? ==gt;Cao Cao

76. The car can fly, please guess a drink==gt;Coffee (Car Flying)

77. Once upon a time, there was a steamed bun, and I ate a piece of meat. Maru, how's it going? ==gt; turned into a steamed stuffed bun

78. Who gave Wangqing Shui? ==gt; Aha ("Aha, give me a cup of forgetful water")

79. There was a white cat and a black cat. The white cat fell into the water, and the black cat took it After being rescued, what did the white cat say to the black cat? ==gt; meow

80. Xiao Ming’s grandfather brushes his teeth and sings at the same time. Why? ==gt; I am brushing my dentures

81. How heavy are the stars in the sky? ==gt; Eight grams (starbucks)

82. tw is a part of China (name a Chinese herbal medicine) ==gt; Angelica

83. The Jade Emperor sneezes ( Name a city)==gt; Tianjin

84. Why do wild geese fly to the south in autumn? ==gt; If you walk, it will be too slow

85. The farmer raises 10 cows and only has 19 horns. Why? ==gt; There is a rhinoceros

86. Pangpang is a famous diver, but one day he stood on the springboard but did not dare to jump down. Why is this? ==gt; Because there is no water below

87. A taxi was driving normally on the road without violating any traffic rules, but it was stopped by a policeman. Why? ==gt;The police want to take a taxi

88. What kind of chicken has no wings? ==gt; frog

89. What can you hit that is both effortless and comfortable? ==gt; doze

90. Which product has the manufacturing date and the expiration date on the same day? ==gt;Newspaper

91. What books can’t be bought in bookstores? ==gt;Suicide note

92. The best-selling book? ==gt;Female Secretary

93. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it. Why? ==gt;My mother said that those who hang out online all day long are not good people

94. The panda loves the deer deeply, but he is rejected when he expresses his love. Why? ==gt; Xiaolu timidly said: My mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad boys

95. Who didn’t attend the zoo meeting? ==gt; lion (because the lion is "lost" to contact)

96. Fat man sitting in a sedan chair (name a place) ==gt; Yugoslavia (hard-to-die Lav)

97. Go to the toilet (name a Hong Kong female artist)==gt; Mok Wenwei (reason: Mo Wenwei)

98. Who among the grandfather, father, and brother will shed tears after listening to the mother's words? ==gt; Grandpa (Yeye) shed tears when he thought of his mother’s words

99. There were two bees who loved each other, but later the mother bee married a spider. Why? ==gt; Because this female bee loves to surf the Internet

100. It is easy during the day, but sad at night (hit a building)==gt; Single-plank bridge

101. Which star in the entertainment industry stutters? ==gt; Fan Weiqi (because... Fan Weiqi: "Hello everyone, I am Fan Fan Fan Weiqi")

102. If there is a car, Xiao Ming is the driver and Xiao Hong is the passenger, then this car is Whose? ==gt; "If"! "What if" there was a car

103. What did the Kirin become when it arrived at the North Pole? ==gt;Bing Qilin (ice cream)!

104. Which one is older, McDonald’s or KFC? ==gt; KFC! Because the image of KFC is grandpa, and McDonald's is uncle...

105. Xiao Ming was about to cross the bridge, and two ghosts appeared on the opposite side, one red ghost and one green ghost. And Xiao Ming has a gun with only two bullets. It takes one shot to kill the green ghost, and two shots to kill the red ghost. Should we kill the red ghost first? Or the green ghost? ==gt; Green Ghost (because the red ghost was so frightened when he saw the green ghost dead that his face turned green with fright, he turned into a green ghost, and then shot it to death)