Health joke

A collection of health jokes

Introduction: In modern society, due to people's intense work, more and more people gradually began to ignore the importance of health. I have arranged some jokes about health. I hope everyone can appreciate the importance of health while laughing.

1. In the hospital, an electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask, "Listen, take a deep breath. I need a power outage for five minutes!"

2. My son did something wrong and cried for a long time after being scolded by his father. His father ignored him. When he stopped crying, his father asked him, "You stopped crying?" The son replied, "No, I want to have a rest!"

3. My deskmate caught a cold and had a runny nose, but he forgot to bring his handkerchief, so he kept sucking it into his nose. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted, "That's enough! Stop it! It's so noisy! " The whole class was quiet. Then, honestly, he went on to say, "Who is stealing noodles in class and making so much noise?"

4. I met an awesome person on the subway this morning. On the subway, a buddy's bell was ringing loudly, and all the passengers heard: "Grandpa, that grandson called you again ... Grandpa, that grandson called you again ..." I saw that buddy slowly took out his mobile phone and answered it, saying, "Hey! Dad, what's the matter? "

5. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone, and the patient said," I thought there was something in his shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. Who knows that a fucking bastard passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two rolls. "

6. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and the ants they nest climbed onto the elephant. The ants all fell down. At this time, there was another ant around the elephant's neck. The fallen ant shouted, "strangle him ... strangle him ..."

7. The blind man stuttered while riding a bike and sat in front watching the road. Suddenly he saw a deep ditch between Israel and Australia, and he stammered and shouted in panic, "Gougougou!" When the blind man heard it, he sang back: "Oh, oh, oh, oh!" So they fell into the deep ditch to pull.

8. In the race between the tortoise and the hare, the hare quickly ran to the front and the tortoise crawled behind. Seeing a snail crawling slowly, he said to the snail, "Come up, I'll carry you." Then the snail climbed up. After a while, the tortoise saw an ant again and said to him, "Come up, too!" And even ants crawl; After the ant went up, he saw the snail on it and said "hello" to the snail. Do you know what the snail said? He said, "Hurry up, this turtle is so fast."

9. I drank with my friends two days ago and went to the bathroom of the restaurant to urinate. When I saw a sentence written on the wall, I took a closer look and read it, saying, "Don't watch, concentrate on urinating." After I read this sentence, I found that I peed my shoes.

1. The farmer replied, "Hello!" The rogue went on to say, "I said it to your horse." Then he smiled. Suddenly the farmer turned and slapped the horse and said, "Bastard, don't tell me when you have relatives in the city!"

11. The tortoise lived with the snail. Once the tortoise was injured, he asked the snail to buy medicine for him. After two hours, the snail didn't come back. The tortoise was anxious and shouted, "Damn, I'll die if I don't come back!" At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: "You fucking say I'm not going!" (haha ... this snail is too slow.)

12. Husband: "Why is the landline phone bill so high this month?" Wife: "Mrs. Wang next door once borrowed a phone." Husband: "Even once, it's not much more!" Wife: "She stutters."

13. A group of students were training under a tree. The instructor said, "Count off in the first row." No one responded. The instructor said loudly, "Count off in the first row!" I saw a man in the first row, reluctantly turned around and walked to the tree and hugged it.

14. The teacher told a parent, "Your son copied his neighbor's exam because they were all wrong." The dissatisfied parent replied, "Maybe his neighbor peeked at him." Teacher: "No.I asked' When did Napoleon die?' The neighbor answered'. And your son replied,' I don't know'. "(This boy is so stupid that he doesn't even know how to copy.)

15. A psychopath sang in bed, turned over and continued to sing on his pillow. The attending doctor asked," Just sing, why turn over? " Neuropathy said, "Fool, of course, you have to change your B face after singing A face."

16. A college student was caught by the enemy, who tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! " The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, "I'm from TV University."

17. The nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward and went over and told him, "Be careful with the liver!" The patient smiled and said, "Little Baby

18. A sister-in-law saw a man who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, so she quickly said to the man," Comrade, you dropped your cigarettes! "The man is furious:" You just castrated! "

19. In an English exam, Mr. A was at a loss when he saw that Mr. B had filled it up. He threw a paper for help. Soon, Mr. B threw a paper ball. Mr. A was overjoyed and opened it. I saw an eraser wrapped in the paper, and the letters A, B, C and D were painted on all sides. There were still a few small words on the paper:" Throw it yourself! "

2. Once upon a time, a man named A Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, his family cried his name:" Shuang ... Shuang ... Shuang ... Shuang ... "At this time, a passerby saw this scene and asked," What are you happy about? " "The cool family suddenly burst into tears:" It's so cool! "

21. In high school, after class was over, all the students rushed out to buy lunch boxes. A girl took a shortcut to get there before others, and the manhole cover in front was not covered properly and fell down! After a while, she climbed up with the edge of the well, and she was very embarrassed. A group of junior high school children passed by in horror. She was in a hurry and said while climbing: Hey! Is it really difficult to repair?

22. camping in the wild, a asks b at midnight:? We can see the stars all over the sky when we open our eyes. What does it mean? B replied:? It means it will be fine tomorrow! What's the matter? A:? Fool, our tent was stolen! ?

23. Three people go to the store to buy things. The first man said to the boss:? I want a bag of peanuts. ? The boss brought a ladder to the second floor and a bag of peanuts, and then moved the ladder away. The second man said to the boss:? I want a bag of peanuts, too. ? The boss said: I x, didn't say so earlier. ? Then he asked the third person:? Do you want a bag of peanuts, too? I don't want it. ? The third person said. The boss brought a ladder to the second floor and a bag of peanuts, and then moved the ladder away. Ask the third person:? What do you want? I want two bags of peanuts! ? The third person said. The boss fainted!

24. A man went fishing by the river. I wore a leaf first, but no fish took the bait for a long time. He changed another piece of bread, but no fish took the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to change earthworms, but no fish took the bait for a long time. In anger, he took out 1 yuan and fell into the water, cursing: Fuck, buy what you want!