What if mom does things at home without considering others?

You should communicate with your mother more and explain this. Because doing things without considering others is likely to bring all kinds of contradictions.

Take my roommate for example. I like staying in bed, so my roommates usually turn on the light to wake me up. A roommate came back from washing, pushed the door and turned on the light at once, shaking my eyes every time, although she knew it was not intentional, but in her heart. You know that. The other one will tell us before turning on the light and give us a preparation before driving. Although it is a small matter, I will feel much more comfortable in my heart.

Here's another example. I have been thinking about whether to prepare a birthday present for the boy who has a crush on me. Or the first roommate mentioned above, told me in a super loud voice that you didn't want to buy it, why did you buy him a gift and so on. It was really hard at that time, and I felt particularly uncomfortable. She is usually a very strong person, so she must give guidance and evaluate others if there is anything.

I used to be a little like this. I liked orders, but later I changed.

First of all, I think you should tell your mother not to blurt out anything, especially in a big family, take care of others' faces and think twice before you speak.

Secondly, tell mom to learn to be tolerant, even if others don't do well, if it's not a principled mistake or leads to serious consequences, try to put it up euphemistically, don't criticize it as soon as it comes up, but try to suppress it first. Of course, if someone makes mistakes again and again, don't listen to the reminder and don't lose face.

Another point is, don't do whatever you want, but discuss with others or say hello in advance. When your mother can slowly accept this, you will become much more comfortable at home.

Finally, let your mother think about it slowly, and think about whether she often gives orders and adopts an educational tone, or criticizes or jokes regardless of others' face, and whether she is angry or impatient with others because of trivial things, mainly her attitude, tone and way of speaking.

Come on, you have the determination to help your mother change, and you can do it!