Quotations of online funny humor

Lead: Humorous people are more liked by people. I guess I became humorous after reading too many humorous quotations on the Internet. The following are the classic quotations of online humor that I have carefully arranged for you. I hope you like them.

Classic Quotations of Network Humor 1) When life viciously turned everything into black humor, I went with the flow and turned myself into a hooligan with a higher education.

2) You don't feel like a dormitory when you sleep in the classroom, do you?

3) I watched a ghost movie with my friend yesterday, and he actually cried, hahahaha, what a coward! If I hadn't fainted, I would have laughed at him severely!

4) Flip a coin: surf the Internet head-on, sleep on the opposite side, and stand up to do your homework.

5) What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

6) What is April Fool's Day confession? Tomb-Sweeping Day's confession is king, because if he fails, he says he is possessed by a ghost!

7) Love is a cheap project. Love has no truth, no truth and no dignity.

8) Don't count sheep if you can't sleep at night, otherwise … you will have a hungry dream.

9) When a man doesn't belong to you, let you sigh what is perfect; when he belongs to you, let you sigh what is true.

10) I once had a pair of wings. Laziness made me not take them out to eat, but stew them in a pot.

One day I went shopping with my best friend, who was harassed and molested by a group of hooligans. I can't take it anymore. I went up to help my best friend out, and I solved half the hooligans on the spot, half molested my best friend and half molested me.

2) Yao Jiaxin was sentenced to si in the first instance. After watching the news, the boss told us earnestly, look, this is what happens when you want a raise.

3) I never bully the weak ~ ~ ~ I didn't know he was weaker than me before I bullied him.

4) I want to read more books, even if I become a hooligan in the future, then we are also educated hooligans.

5) The monster is a good boy and will say to Altman; Don't be sad, just hit me.

6) Actually, I don't like loneliness at all. Why does loneliness always come to me?

7) When I was a child, I liked to play hide-and-seek. When others hide, I will go home for dinner.

8) The person I love is not my lover, and every inch of his heart belongs to others.

9) It's not my fault for being ugly, but I was in a hurry when I landed, so I didn't hurry to dress up.

10) If you stay in nature for a long time, you will germinate naturally if you stay deep. If you germinate to the limit, you will be easy to get married and continue to live with others.

Love is an obligation that only you can deeply understand; Love is a kind of happiness, only you can experience it in a hurry; Love is a kind of expectation, waiting for you in minutes.

12) it's cold, and I want to give you a coat: the pocket is called warmth; The collar is called care; Sleeves are considerate; Buttons are called missing; Let this coat accompany you through every minute, and be sure to be happy.

13) I thought there would be a vigorous review on National Day, but I got a vigorous make-up homework.

14) As a dress, you can't take a bath by yourself. You asked me to wash it for you. You said: don't lose face in clothes!

15) Money can be called a male god, money can't be called a husband, and money can't be called a blue face. As for those who have no money, I'm sorry that you are a good person ... what a painful understanding.

16) Don't hate people who speak ill of you, because they let you see yourself in another way.

17) Suddenly someone asks you, what do you think of Virgo? -Dude, slap you! Woman, come to my bed and tell you quietly!

18) Scientific research has proved that people who smoke and drink all the year round have a lower probability of developing Alzheimer's disease, because the probability of premature death is higher.

Give me a test paper about EXO and let me tell you what a real principal is.

20) Humming songs, drinking wine, eating, drinking and having fun with your brother will make you happy every day; By massaging shoulders, the service industry can last a day and ensure that every day is as happy as a fairy!

1) The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

2) There is a hole in the head, there is water in the hole, there is fish in the water, and the fish is still spitting bubbles.

3) Why do you think my heart is beating so fast? Thanks to my thick throat and thin throat, I can jump out.

4) It's snowing outside the window. Make a cup of coffee and hold it until it gets cold. Then I know I think of you again. How can you understand my expectations!

5) Model husband: Model daughter-in-law has the final say. If my wife wants to eat cake, I like porridge. As soon as his wife stared, she stood against the wall.

6) A knowing smile, a comforting word and an unnecessary hug are enough.

7) Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself, "If I eat too much, I will die." But it turns out that I'm really not afraid of death.

8) If your ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend fall into the sea at the same time, would you like to stay with me?

9) In this life, at this time, it's good to have you, sister. Always by your side. I love you, my sister.

10) I only sold the love letter for two yuan. Alas, this relationship is really cheap.

1 1) Don't tell me it's cold, take care of yourself and put on more clothes, or take care of me or buy me clothes with money.

12) The person I like doesn't need any comments, because he monopolizes a group.

13) When you feel particularly charming, be sure to take photos to wake yourself up.

14) for countless moments, I thought I would never see the sun tomorrow, because it will be cloudy.

15) Give me a fulcrum and I'll put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

16) After many years, if you get married, if I don't, tell your son to be careful on the way after school.

17) One day, my love for you will be rewarded equally, just as the closer I am to the router, the stronger the signal.

18) Seeing your smile is the happiest thing in the world, seeing your tears is the most unforgettable thing in the world, seeing your anger is the most unforgettable thing in the world, and not seeing your information is the most pitiful thing in the world!

19) Do you know why you always feel so sleepy at school? Because school is the place where dreams begin!

20) From primary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

2 1) Money is a problem when a man is dumped; Women are dumped, appearance problems; I got dumped. You're fucking crazy.

22) If God gives me another chance to be born again, I must choose the Tang Dynasty, so I don't have to learn English or lose weight.

23) The scores of all subjects are closely related to the appearance of teachers in all subjects!

24) Do we dye our hair white and walk hand in hand to the sunset, so that we can grow old together?

25) Give me a woman and I can create a country; Give me a bottle of wine and I will lead them to conquer the world!

26) Dead vines, yellow crows, desserts and snacks, watermelons, can only not gain weight, and can only hope that they are blind.

27) It is difficult to study at noon on weeding day. On the first day of school, I was punished for standing all morning.

28) I was deliberately deceived by your prank because I wanted to see your smile.

29) In a harmonious campus, cyclists may be doctors, and Mercedes-Benz drivers may be logistics personnel.

30) If I hadn't been so naughty as a child and been a soft girl quietly, I wouldn't regret that no one wants me now.