English short joke essay, for first grade students! ! !

1)TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go

Slow".

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner, there is a road sign that says: "School----Slow down."

2) Tom call Jim's name: "I can't bear such a foolish!"

and Jim said: "You mother could (bear)!"

Tom cursed at Jim: "I can't stand you motherfucker! "

Jim said: "Your mother can!"

Attachment: bear has two meanings: "to live" and "to endure". This joke is based on this.

3)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

A man enters The church had a conversation with God. He asked: "Lord, how much does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied: "One penny." The man asked again: "What about a million years?" God said: "One second. clock." Finally the man asked: "God, can I get a penny?" God replied: "In one second."

4) Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him, "Did you buy a good box of matches?"

"Yes, Mum." Tommy replied, "I have tried them all."< /p>

Mom asked Tommy to buy a box of useful matches from the store across the street. When Tommy came back, his mother asked him, "Did you buy good matches?"

"Yes, Mom." Tommy replied, "I tried them all."< /p>

5)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing !

Father: Oops, I just made an illegal right turn.

Susie: It’s okay, Dad, the policeman following you also turned around like this.

6)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

“You'er a good boy,” said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”

"She is the one who sells the candy."

Little Robert asked his mother for her two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You are such a good boy," my mother said proudly. "I'll give you two more cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady?"

"She is a candy seller."

7)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you sew him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

Ivan returned home with a bleeding nose. His mother asked, "What happened?"

"A boy bit me," Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him when you see him again?" Mom asked.

"I can recognize him wherever he goes," Ivan said, "His ears are still in my pocket."

8)Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.< /p>

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two birds

< p>Teacher: There are two birds here, one is a sparrow. Can anyone point out which is a swallow and which is a sparrow?

Student: I can’t point out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell me.

Student: Next to a swallow is a sparrow, and next to a sparrow is a swallow.

Attached:

Life after death

Rebirth after death

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.

“Do you believe that people can be reborn after death? "The boss asked one of his employees.

"I believe it, sir." The employee who had just started working soon replied.

"Oh, that's not bad." The boss continued.

“After you got off work early yesterday to attend your grandmother’s funeral, she came here to see you. "

Talking clock

Talking clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

a The student showed his friends around his new apartment and was very proud. “What are the big gongs and hammers for? "One of his friends asked him. "That thing is amazing, it is a talking clock", the student replied. "How does this clock work?" His friend asked. "Look, don't blink", then The students stepped forward, picked up the gong and hammer, and banged hard. Suddenly, they heard someone yelling from the other side of the wall, "Stop knocking, you idiot!" It's two o'clock in the morning! ”