Famous classic humorous jokes

A complete collection of classic humorous jokes

Lu Bu: If you don’t love the master, you will love the beauty, and if you don’t love the country, you will be entangled in the mortal world. The following is a collection of humorous jokes from famous classics prepared by the joke column. Let’s laugh together!

A complete collection of humorous jokes from classics (1)

1. MSN signature of the king of the daughter country: Elder’s surname Tang, sweet to the point of sadness.

2. Jade Rabbit’s Blog: Dear friends, if you love, please love deeply. At this moment, I burst into tears. Although I have said to myself more than once: "Jade Rabbit Spirit, you must be happy!" However, he is a man like the wind. He shattered my elegant dignity and made me as lonely as a firework. Can you stay? Tang Elder, will there be a succubus in the West who will love you for me?

3. Tang Monk’s text message: Queen, I, Tripitaka, we have arrived at the Kingdom of Lions and Camels, I miss you and kiss you. Don't reply to text messages. It's inconvenient because my apprentice is here.

4. Bajie: Brother Monkey, did you use this ring to propose to Fairy Zixia? You are so funny! You don’t even have half a carat of diamonds, and no one else would love you! Chang’e did I was so embarrassed that I said: Don't tell me whether you love me or not, first look at how big the diamond ring is! Alas, fairies nowadays are so realistic. I'm telling you, this fairy daughter, you have to slap her with a diamond brick. Even if she died, she wouldn't cry for help...

5. Tang Monk: Amitabha, the poor monk Tripitaka, pays homage to Guanyin Bodhisattva. I was shocked to hear that Bodhisattva was the director appointed by the Buddha and was selecting people for the role in "Searching for Buddhist Scriptures from the West". The poor monk came to audition. When we met for the first time, the poor monk went to take a bath first and asked the Bodhisattva to wait. The poor monk will do his best tonight

6. Bajie: Brother Monkey, is there any magical power that can help me lose weight quickly? You can do it too I know that the master has to touch my chest every night before falling asleep. If he is dreaming, he will pinch and pinch me, which is very uncomfortable!

7. Tang Monk: Your Majesty, you can rest assured. When the monk goes to the West, he will never mention to the Buddha the various livelihoods of the people of this dynasty. All the Buddhas in the sky were cultivated by ordinary people. Once they achieve enlightenment, who will care about the life and death of ordinary people? The poor monk devotes himself to the Buddha, only seeking perfect merit and virtue and entering the bliss of the West. The so-called common people are suffering, and the poor monks are doing shit! The truth is the same as the thoughts and official careers of officials in the current dynasty.

8. Master, Bajie, and Junior Brother Sha, please stop crying. I, Old Sun, also know that this demon is inherently good. He followed us along the way and gave us a lot of joy. However, the Jade Emperor issued a decree saying that this demon has nothing to do with heaven and the West. He cultivated himself in the mortal world and deceived the public with his evil words, so he must be killed. . Heaven has sent the God of Thunder to strike down the monster with thunder, and I went to see it. It turned out to be an electric donkey, and it died with its eyes open. If it depends on my previous temper? That's all. I have suffered losses in the battle with the sky, so let's get on with it.

9. Tang Monk: Donor, this poor monk is from the Eastern Tang Dynasty. Please stay here for one night? Hey? Donor? Donor, please open the door. Donor? Damn it!

10. Tang Seng: Wukong, you bastard! You are not allowed to do anything! Those donors are not monsters. How can you refuse to change despite repeated admonitions and kill people at will?!? Oh? They are businessmen who buy land and build buildings? Amitabha? Wu Jing, help me. Master, take the Five Buddha Crown; Wukong, lend me the golden cudgel! No, Bajie, give me your rake! What the fuck? Collection of classic humorous jokes (2)

1 , Wukong: You do not know life or death, you female demon! Do you know Lao Sun's Ruyi Golden Cudgel? This stick can be as heavy or as big as you like. I usually carry it with me, but it is only about the size of a toothpick, and when I hold it, it is as thick as the mouth of a bowl. Use it and never meet an opponent!

Banshee: I have met many monks, but I have never seen you act like a rogue with such a mouth. Wukong: @#$#*@

2. Taoist boy: This is the ginseng fruit of our Wuzhuang Temple. I wonder which one the elder would like to eat? There is a Barbie doll, a naughty blue cat, and a Fuwa.....

Tang Seng: That's good, that's good! I'll eat a Fuwa.

But I don’t want a girl...

Taoist: Is Huanhuan a boy?

Tang Seng: Okay, then I will eat Huanhuan. If you ask me, it is better to eat male babies. You can eat more by eating male babies.

3. Tang Seng: Apprentice, I have seen several elder sisters holding children these days. Everyone pulled us and asked in a low voice: Master, do you want some oil? It seems that we have really arrived in India?

Bajie: Master, have you bought it?

Tang Seng: What a waste! Every time you are captured by a female goblin, these two beasts, you and Wukong, rush in so anxiously, why should I buy the divine oil? I might as well buy some hand cream!

4. Reasons why the four masters and disciples are unmarried:

1. Tang Monk is handsome in appearance, knowledgeable, famous and status. Unfortunately, he entered Buddhism at a young age and only eats vegetarian food. He is thin and has a weak body. , was repeatedly harassed by female perverts and female gangsters, causing severe psychological disorder, so much so that he avoided women whenever he saw them and never married.

2. Wukong was unfortunate. He was born as an orphan. There was no free compulsory education at that time, and he had no money to go to school to receive formal sex education. He wandered around the world in his early years, made a lot of noise in the Heavenly Palace, and was suppressed under the Five Elements Mountain. He was suppressed for too long. The lower part was probably crushed, so it's no wonder that he never flirted with women and would call a beautiful woman a monster when he saw one.

3. Bajie is very lucky. He is the only one among the four masters and disciples who has had his first love. However, he was demoted to the lower world because of his little affair with Sister Chang'e. In the final analysis, it was all the fault of the moon. disaster?. Afterwards, he fell in love with Miss Gao in Gao Laozhuang. Although he was opposed by everyone and even cruelly persecuted, Bajie promised to wait until he came back to learn the scriptures (he would never come back). This shows that Bajie's infatuation for Miss Gao is unstoppable. Take a look. Collection of classic humorous jokes (3)

1. Gu Yong said to Sun Quan: Jingzhou should have been owned by the lord, but it was taken away by Liu Bei. As a result, we were attacked from both sides. We secretly thought that now we should take advantage of Guan Yu's northward march. Although a sneak attack on Jingzhou is suspected of betraying allies, it has to be done in a time of life and death.

After hearing this, Sun Quan put his chin in his hands and suddenly flashed his two big eyes and said: It seems that I have to betray the alliance, okay?

2. Kong Ming: Lord, I think you should pay close attention to Xiao Qiao.

Liu Bei: To seize the world, why should you pay attention to a woman?

Kong Ming: Because I understand that among the people you pay attention to, Cao Cao, Sun Quan, Zhou Yu and others also pay attention to her.

3. The demons have a meeting. Tang Monk's meat is delicious, but Sun Wukong is not easy to mess with. His weapons are so powerful that we can't even think of taking a blow from him. ?

?What if I can take it?

?Next. . . . . . It’s the moment to witness a miracle. ?

4. Liu and Zhang were in the drinking room when they saw a big man pushing a cart. He came to the front of the store to rest, sat down in the store, and called the bartender: "Please pour the wine quickly. I'll Waiting to rush into the city to join the army.

Xuande looked at the man: he was nine feet long, and his beard was two feet long; his face was as heavy as jujubes, and his lips were as if they were painted with grease; his eyes were red and phoenix, and his eyebrows were lying on silkworms. His appearance was dignified and majestic.

Xuande wanted to recruit this person to discuss important matters, so Fei asked: Why?

Xuande replied: Since ancient times, beauties have often fought for their lives, and this guy can definitely fight! ;