Who can help me provide three Halloween English jokes?

Do zombies eat candy with their fingers?

No, they eat their fingers separately.

Do zombies eat candy with their fingers?

This is an ambiguous sentence, and the speaker can make people understand whether zombies eat candy with their hands or "eat candy with their hands" (a little disgusting)

According to the second meaning of ambiguity, zombies eat meat, so he joked that zombies only eat fingers. (instead of eating candy)

To scare them.

A mother bought her son a 100 Halloween costume to scare his friends.

"Should I take off the price tag?" The boy asked.

"Leave it on." His mother replied. "We'll scare your father, too."

A mother spent 100 dollars to buy her son a Halloween costume to scare his friends.

Should I take off the price tag? Asked the son

Keep it. Mom replied. We have to scare your father.

Sorry, there are only two! ! ! ! !

Halloween joke

I suddenly became interested in Halloween this morning and asked myself, when?

I don't know

ashamed ...

Look it up on the Internet, it is 10.5438+0, the Western Ghost Festival, which is said to have originated in Scotland.

Going home at night, I was surprised to see someone burning paper by the roadside. Is it true that Halloween is followed by Ghost Festival in China?

I feel dizzy ...

Want to come this Halloween, obviously people give themselves a reason to revel.

It's just that orientals are too subtle, and it's also a ghost festival. The life of westerners is wonderful, while that of orientals is solemn.

I remember that on the day of winning the Olympic bid, the whole Second Ring Road was full of cars, all honking their horns crazily. At night, Chang 'an Avenue is closed to motor vehicles and only pedestrians are allowed to walk. The whole Tiananmen Square was crowded with people, but unfortunately no one was excited. Everyone is happy and wants to do something, but no one guides them. This is the East, celebrating, from the heart, just can't find a way. However, there is a way to change the west, and it is easy to get out of control. Like burning cars or something.

What impressed me more was that there was a table of old men in Guijie Street, who ate hemp and drank almost enough. Announce the scene of the selected city to be replayed on TV. They stood up and clinked glasses and shouted along with the voice, which was quite lively. What's even more funny is that the windows of cars all over the street are open, and those with beautiful women usually lean out half of their bodies. A GG ran from there holding the national flag and saw two beautiful women sticking their heads out of a car. He greeted him and hugged one of them. Then, the GG on the bus shouted "Hello ~", and the running GG repeatedly apologized to the GG on the bus. Haha, I only paid attention to their reaction and ignored the beauty's expression.

I suddenly looked at what was written on it, which was quite strange. I can think of bidding for the Olympic Games from Halloween. ...

In a few days,1October 3 1 will be Halloween.

Halloween is children's favorite folk festival, because they can play tricks, wear strange clothes, knock on the door of their neighbors for candy, and even say "trick or treat!" " . There is also the custom of making "jack-o'-lantern", which children like. Buy some pumpkins, hollow out the pulp inside, then hollow out a ferocious face, put candles in it and put it in front of your house at night.

My daughter is going to be a "ninja aunt" this year. A few days ago, she dragged me to the Halloween store to finish the clothes and bought a long-handled "ninja Buddhist monk's knife" (plastic, of course). I haven't been told what my son is going to dress up as so far. I guess he surprised me when he remembered it.

The clothes are complete, and now my daughter only talks about it every day. I can't wait to put it in my pocket tonight and then go out and ask for candy.

By the way, when it comes to trick-or-treating, asking for sugar reminds me of a joke that I just came to America.

I was a graduate student at that time. The same research group has a China compatriot from a famous university in China. This man is a little leftist, studying in America, but he doesn't forget to hate the evils of capitalism. I just came to the United States for two days, and I met Halloween for no reason.

The next day, the gentleman came to the laboratory. As soon as he saw me, he was really angry with me: "American society is really hopeless!" "

I was taken aback and thought, your brother's consciousness is really high. Just two days ago, what bad clues did you see? On my lips, I asked calmly, "Why?"

He is even more angry: "such a small child knocks on the door to sell drugs as soon as it gets dark!" " "

"Drugs?" I almost jumped up!

He continued to denounce: "Really? I was carrying a bag with heroin in it, and I reached out and asked me for money ... "

Oh! I finally woke up! Yesterday was Halloween, and the child came out to make trouble and greeted this guy politely: "Happy Halloween!" " " !

This guy actually heard Halloween as "heroin"

I'm afraid this compatriot is too embarrassed and didn't explain anything. I just smiled and said, "No? Maybe the child came out for candy ... "

"Candy?" His face was full of doubts. Seeing that I didn't mean to explain further, he put on his white coat and began to do the experiment.

The next year, the day after Halloween, the compatriot put it another way: "Ha, American children are so funny!" " "