Classic joke (the most classic)

(1) A man walked in the hospital with a doctor's prescription for a long time and came back and asked, "13 Where is the supermarket?" The female doctor smiled and said, "That's not 13 ultrasound, but B-ultrasound." The man was furious and said, "Shit! Your B score is too wide! "

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(2) A lady walks into a sex shop and wants to buy a vibrator. The boss said, "It's all on it. Choose for yourself. " After careful selection, the woman said, "I want the red one!" The boss took a look and said, "Miss, that's a fire extinguisher!" "

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(3) A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal. She quickly said to that person, "Comrade, your cigarettes have dropped!" The man was furious: "You just castrated!"

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(4) A young beauty got on the bus in a tight skirt. Because the skirt was too tight to lift her legs and get on the bus, she secretly reached out and unbuttoned a button at the back, but still couldn't get on, unbuttoned another one, or couldn't get on, unbuttoned another one. But I still can't get up.

At this time, a man behind him reached out and helped her unbutton a button. When the woman felt it, she turned to scold the man's "hooligan"!

The man was very wronged and said, "I am a rogue? You unbuttoned three buttons in front of me, and I didn't say a word. I only unbuttoned one button! "

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(5) One day, the teacher analyzed the word "milk" in ancient Chinese, saying that milk means small, and then asked Xiaoming to make sentences with the word "milk". Xiao Ming replied, "I passed through cleavage every day when I was at school." Teacher: "Hmm. . . This won't work, change. " Xiao Ming thought for a moment and said, "I live in a breast with my family." Teacher: "No, no, change it again." Xiao Ming grabbed his head and said, "Alas, this sentence is too difficult. I think my nipples are very big. " The students burst out laughing. . .

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(6) One day, he led a team to inspect the grass roots, visited Jiangyin Wool Textile Factory, and came to the factory name with neon lights hanging at the gate. Unfortunately, the circuit is out of order, and the first word "Jiang" is not lit. The leader could only see the last five words, so he asked the factory director with great concern: "Comrade factory director, are your raw materials easy to handle?"

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(7) Tang Priest met a banshee on his way to the west, observed that her chest and buttocks were relatively fat, and wanted to have sex. When the banshee saw this scene, she was shocked: senior! My little girl is afraid of having sex when she menstruates! Hearing this, the Tang Priest folded his hands: Amitabha, I'm here to learn from the scriptures!

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(8) An elephant asked the camel, "How did your chest grow on your back?" The camel said, "stay away, I don't talk to things with dicks on my face!" " "The snake laughed wildly after listening to the conversation between the elephant and the camel. The elephant turned to the snake and said, "Laugh! You have a face on your penis, you are not qualified! "

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(9) When Xiao Ming was eating, he suddenly asked his father a question: "Dad, what's the difference between vagina and esophagus?"

Dad thought, well, it's a little embarrassing, but it's a good opportunity for personality education. So he tried his best to explain to Xiao Ming.

But dad wanted to know where Xiao Ming, who was only eight years old, heard all this, so he asked Xiao Ming.

Xiao Ming replied, "When I was studying early in the morning, the teacher asked me to report to him the number of people who should have arrived and the number who actually arrived."

(10) A Japanese is eating in a restaurant in China. When the waiter brought a panlong shrimp, the Japanese asked, "What should I do with the remaining shrimp shells?"

"Of course it's awkward." The waiter said.

"no! Don't! No! " The Japanese shook his head and said, "In Japan, the leftover shrimp shells are sent to the factory, made into shrimp cakes, and then sold to you in China."

After a while, the waiter brought another plate of fruit. The Japanese pointed to one of the lemons and asked, "What should I do with the remaining lemon peel?"

"Of course it's awkward." The waiter said.

"no! Don't! No! " The Japanese shook his head and said, "In Japan, the leftover lemon peel is sent to the factory to make fruit treasures, and then sold to you in China."

When checking out, the Japanese asked the waiter with a smile while chewing gum, "What do you do with the leftover gum?"

"Of course, I spit it out." The waiter said.

"no! Don't! No! " The Japanese shook his head and proudly said, "In Japan, chewed gum is sent to the factory, made into condoms, and then sold to you in China."

The waiter asked, "Do you know what to do with used condoms in China?"

"Of course I threw it away." Japanese humanity.

The waiter shook his head and said, "No! Don't! Don't! In China, used condoms are sent to factories, made into chewing gum and sold to you. "