Write an investigation report about parents' bad habits.

Two tragedies of children's dementia caused by drunkenness caused heated discussion.

According to media reports, a tragic incident occurred in Guangxi a few days ago. While teasing his nephew Xiao Si (a pseudonym), Bo Er poured a glass or two of homemade rice wine for Xiao Si, who was only two years old, causing Xiao Si to vomit, twitch and turn black. After waking up, he became so stupid that he didn't even know his mother. Doctors say that Xiao Si's dementia is caused by alcoholism and secondary brain injury.

An embarrassing tragedy also happened in Panzhihua, Sichuan: Father Wang took his 2-year-old son Xiaolin (a pseudonym) to a friend's house for dinner. During the dinner, three friends of Wang teased Kobayashi to drink. As a result, Kobayashi really drank two or two liquors, fell asleep, and finally died of acute alcoholism.

It has been pointed out that behind these tragedies, in addition to the lack of relevant legal supervision, it is the bad habit of teasing children in Chinese style. How many people were drunk when they were children? What do you think of the so-called "teasing children" in China? The reporter made a random survey on the Internet through an electronic questionnaire. According to the survey results, nearly half of the respondents said that children around them had been drunk by adults.

According to the survey results, 25% of the respondents said they had drunk alcohol when they were young, while three-quarters of the respondents said they had never drunk alcohol when they were young. Although the proportion of respondents who were drunk as children was not high, the proportion of children who were drunk by adults around the respondents was close to half, which was 48.38+0%.

"Say' Mom doesn't want you' to the children" became the most common "teasing" practice chosen by the respondents with a high proportion of 38. 14%. The second place is "a stranger kisses or touches a child's face", with the ratio of 16. 1%. Secondly, "ask children' love their father or mother'", the ratio is 14.83%. And "lifting the child and throwing it" and "telling the child' let mom give you a little brother/sister'" are also the most common ways to tease the child. In addition, 4.66% and 4.24% of the respondents chose "playing with the boy's penis" and "letting the child drink" respectively.

Although only 4.66% of the respondents think that "hitting a boy's penis" is the most common way to tease children, it is the most annoying way to tease children, with a selection ratio of 3 1.36%. "Teasing children to drink" ranked second, with 19.07% of the respondents choosing it. As the most common way of "teasing children", the way of "telling children' Mom doesn't want you'" became the third most annoying way for respondents, with the selection ratio of 18.22%.

20% of the respondents will stop others from "teasing" their children.

When asked what they think of these Chinese-style "teasing children" practices, nearly three-quarters of the respondents think that these "Chinese-style teasing children is a bad habit and should be corrected", and the specific selection ratio is 74. 15%. Another 25.85% of the respondents said that these "teasing children" practices are "just joking, be careful not to overdo it".

Although over 70% of the respondents said that many "teasing children" practices are bad habits and should be corrected. However, when someone teases a child, only 2 1.6 1% of the respondents explicitly said that they would stop it, and the vast majority of the respondents would "decide whether to stop it according to the intimacy and the way of teasing the child", accounting for 74.58%. Another 3.8 1% respondents made it clear that they would not prevent others from "teasing" their children.

In the face of the behavior of "teasing children", what will the respondents do specifically? According to the survey results, 39.83% of the respondents said that if children showed negative emotions, they would "look at their reactions" and intervene. However, 3 1.78% of the respondents think that they should "care more about their children at ordinary times and cultivate excellent psychological quality", so that children will not be easily hurt in the face of others' "teasing" behavior. The proportion of respondents who directly chose "Don't tease adults" or "Take the children away" was 20.76% and 5.93% respectively.

"I have been hurt by teasing, and I am opposed to teasing children."

Ms. He in Shanghai was held and played by her neighbors when she was a child. As a result, her eyebrows were burned by cigarette butts, and there are still scars. "I am particularly taboo for adults to tease children now." Ms. He said that she is a post-80 s mother, and their mothers' views on teasing children are very different from those of the older generation. The former parents were unconscious and thought that teasing their children was because they liked it. "But I have been there before, and I have been teased by people. There are more or less small shadows, so we are even more afraid of adults teasing children after the 80 s."

Ms. He has a 5-year-old son. If someone teases her son, she will directly express her thoughts and stop the teasing behavior of the other party. "When I was a child, I attended a banquet and often met adults who used chopsticks to give their children wine. I think this way is not only unsanitary, but chopsticks may also hurt children. " Ms. He told reporters that she was most afraid of meeting some relatives licking her chopsticks. As a mother, she didn't eat with her baby's independent chopsticks.

"It's hard to accept an outsider kissing his daughter."

Mr. Ji has a lovely daughter. At home, he loves to hug her and kiss her, but he always washes his hands and faces first and cleans them well. "It's hard for me to accept people outside my family kissing my daughter."

Mr. Ji said that some people like to throw children high. As a father, he is strongly opposed. This method is very dangerous, and if you miss it, the consequences will be unimaginable. Moreover, the child's brain has not developed well, and high throwing may also cause brain damage.

Everyone teases children in different ways, but it seems that each way has advantages and disadvantages. Teacher Ji said that he doesn't approve of many ways of teasing children now, and the way he admires is to play with children. "Play is the most important lesson for children every day. Play can promote physical and mental development. Playing with children is the best way to enhance feelings. Children will gradually learn how to get along with others while playing with others. In the process of playing * * *, children should be the mainstay, and unless safety issues are involved, they can do whatever they want. "

phenomenon

It is common to tease children in China.

Zhou, an early education expert, said in an interview with reporters that cases of personal safety injuries such as letting children drink water, causing disability and death are extreme, but it is common for China people to tease children. Adults tease children to do some inappropriate behaviors like monkeys and encourage them to swear for fun, which is more common in rural people with low education. The consequence is to pollute children's minds, so that they can't distinguish good from evil and confuse right from wrong. In cities, some verbal teasing may be common. For example, someone will tease the child and say, "Your mother gave birth to a younger brother and doesn't love you." Or "Your mother can't come back."

Zhou said that children don't have the ability to live independently, and they will take adult jokes seriously. When they hear this, they will feel very scared and insecure. Some children will panic and cry, but adults enjoy it. And children's sense of security is very important. Some children are deviant, aggressive and self-mutilated. In fact, it is because of lack of security.

For some fat children, sometimes adults will call them "chubby" and "fat girl". In this regard, Hu Ping, an expert in children's education, said that children will feel that they are not respected when they hear such a title. Children who grow up in an environment where they are not respected do not know how to respect others. In his personality construction, there is a tendency that "others don't respect me, and I don't respect others", which is why many people in our adult world don't know how to respect others.

Chase after the target

Adults lack respect for children.

Regarding China people's love of teasing children, Zhou said that the retrospective reasons show that our culture lacks respect for children and underestimates the adverse consequences caused by such teasing. Children are self-respecting and independent. Second, these adults have basically no subjective malice, but they don't know the psychological characteristics of their children, and even feel funny when they see their naive embarrassment. In the final analysis, this mentality is caused by ignorance, but it has actually brought harm to children. "Children are very simple, they trust adults, and their hearts are completely open. After being deceived and teased again and again, children can no longer believe in the world. "

Hu Ping said that many people in China don't know how to respect their children and treat them as playthings, animals or toys. The word "tease" directly reflects our disrespect for children and does not treat children as individuals with independent personality. This is the lack of culture in China, which will lead people to think that teasing children is a happy thing. "Teasing" is a concrete manifestation of disrespect for life and others. Many adults didn't learn the correct parenting style from the previous generation, but what they learned from their ancestors was disrespect for others, which also led them to treat the next generation in a similar way.

Countermeasures

The interaction with children should be sincere.

"What should adults do when relatives and friends tease our children? Maybe it's hard to refuse because of feelings. If parents don't stand up and stop, it will cause harm to children. " Zhou said, "But how to stop it also needs wisdom. You don't have to submit to humiliation, and you don't have to have a big fight with others [Weibo] in a rage. You can take the child away wisely, or simply say that the child is not used to this kind of communication. Adults are generally more interested in hearing this. "

Zhou said that in this case, parents' reaction is also a role model for children. Our children don't live in a vacuum, and they will always encounter scenes they don't like. This is the environment they want to live in. How to strengthen one's inner strength and learn to deal with it easily is also a science.

She reminded her parents [Weibo] not to take this matter too seriously and react too aggressively. On the positive side, as long as parents are not accomplices and silent, as long as parents can stand behind their children and give them some support and help, the result is really not as terrible as expected. Don't hold the mentality that whoever teases our children will not give up with him or even tear his face. There was a lot of hostility at first, but then it slipped to the other extreme. And this will send a message to the children: no one dares to mess with me! This is not good either. Children can't be teased at all, which is definitely not a good thing.

Zhou believes that when other adults interact inappropriately with their children and tease them, parents must stand up, deal with them intelligently, politely refuse the teasing of others, slowly set an example for their children, and teach them how to communicate with others and express their views and feelings. "Children grow up and know how to face it."