Snail boy

Qin Lan was touched by a snail boy when he was eating snails.

Different from humans, the snail boy touches porcelain in a straightforward way: he can't afford to fall to the ground when he reaches his goal, and he doesn't care about the long-term accumulation of oil on the roadside stalls. Qin Lan stared his one eye, and he stared back; Qin Lan wanted to run, and he pulled his pants; Qin Lan wants to call the police. He turned over, grabbed the phone while the other person was stupidly, and then fell flat on the ground, as if he hadn't got up just now.

Qin Lan was helpless: "Say, how much is it?" The snail boy gave him a white look: "If you eat my body, you must take me home." "What?" Qin Lan felt as if he had just witnessed the birth of a new method of touching porcelain. This is really very special, reasonable and convincing. If it wasn't for himself, he would almost applaud each other's creativity. "There is my body in the pile of snails you just ate. You have to take me home." The snail boy gave him a look that "a fool can't understand people's words". Qin Lan was a little angry: "What if I don't take it?" "Then spit out my meat." Snail boy finally stood up. "Let me throw up with one punch, I promise."

Qin Lan glanced at the snail boy who was a head taller than himself. Suddenly, he felt that it was shameful to vomit or be beaten in the street, so he decided to decisively recognize this coward:

"That, do you know how to get to my house? Go, I'll take you there. "

Snail boy belongs to that kind of snail with personality. He likes to wear a white shirt, gold-rimmed glasses and work on the computer. But this snail boy makes Qin Lan quite dissatisfied, because he is completely different from the snail girl in the fairy tale, and he can't wash clothes, cook or clean. "Why can't you wash clothes, cook and clean? Aren't you a snail essence? " One day, Qin Lan, who was so embarrassed by cooking and choked by kitchen fumes, saw a snail boy sitting cross-legged on the sofa reading leisurely. The huge psychological gap made him ignore the absolute height suppression of the other party for a while and couldn't help taking a nap: "I don't do any housework in front of the computer all day, but I am still at home and don't like to talk." It is better to raise a puppy than to raise you. " I would like to keep a dog, and at least lick it twice! "

Qin Lan, who was eager to talk, didn't notice a tall figure coming towards him at all: "Hey, I said, you won't just ask someone to take you home because you are not skilled in business ... Hey, hey! You, what do you want? " He swore to the snail god that his last sentence was definitely not in tears.

Snail boy smiled and showed his white teeth: "I can answer all the questions you just asked." First of all, you should know that I am a snail boy, not a snail girl. Don't take the stereotype of myth for granted. Secondly, I work at home computer, not idle at home. I pay the rent, utilities and daily meals, so I'm raising you. Finally, do you want me to be your pet? "His eyes narrowed and a cold light flashed:" Do you still want to slap me? "

"No, look at what you said, I didn't mean that ..." Qin Lan was about to cry. Now my waist is broken by the other side. What's this called? Is this the fireplace? God, he really didn't know that he was unconsciously raised by a snail. If he had known, he would have shut up and worked as hard as a child bride in the old society. "What do you mean, I have nothing to do with you?" As the snail boy got closer, Qin Lan felt that he was really going to cry.

On that day, Qin Lan once again recalled the fear of being suppressed by the height difference of snail teenagers.

Apart from the initial stumbling, the young man and Qin Lan get along well, even very well. After all, they both have the same hobbies: reading books, going to the cinema and persuading snails.

Qin Lan's eyes popped out when he saw an empty snail shell in front of the snail boy at the predestined roadside stall: "Are you eating the same kind?"? You actually eat the same kind? " After the surprise, a strong feeling of being cheated arises spontaneously: "You eat snails yourself, why should I be responsible for the snails you eat?"

The snail boy wiped his mouth, took out his gold-rimmed glasses belt from his coat pocket, and adjusted his lower collar by the way: "Snails are my essence, and frying snails is my hobby. There is no conflict between the two. " After all, although we can't choose our origins, we can at least stick to our hobbies. Qin Lan hands chest, squint at him. Education is just different. It's quite reliable to see how seriously he pushes his glasses. If I hadn't lived with him for so long and deeply understood the nature of his devil, I would have been fooled by him!

"Come on, what are you?" Snail boy's camera flashed: "I am really a snail, don't believe it." "Then why do you still eat snails?" "My personal hobby." "This is not eating people? What should I do if another snail comes to me and asks me to be responsible for him? " "No, there are hardly any snails." "Then how did you become?" "I am very talented." "How do you prove it?" "..." The snail boy was silent.

But there was only three seconds of silence: "I want to make money to support my family. I can pay the rent, utilities, gas network, including rent. You just need to let me live in your house and have no body for you to take care of. " This proof is absolutely perfect and irrefutable. Qin Lan waved his hand and said, "OK, I believe you." Then sit down and have dinner with snail boy.

One day while eating snails, Qin Lan suddenly thought of a question: "Snail boy, do you have any racial talent?" "No", the other party didn't look up. "What do you want a snail to do?" "Can't cure a headache or something?" "I can't." "Can't help people get rich and win the lottery?" "I can't." "Can't make people invisible, get some benefits or something?" "I saidno." Snail boy is a little annoyed: "do you doubt my ability to make money?" After living together for more than a year, I owe you rent, or have you been hungry without food? " "No, I'm just curious," Qin Lan picked snail meat with a toothpick. "What do you do when you knock on the computer every day?"

Snail boy looked up: "Let's talk about racial talent."

"Do you really want to tell me this? Isn't it said that snails have no racial talent? " Qin Lan is a little excited. Although he is also curious about what snail teenagers make money from, he wants to know what the snail's racial talent is. Do you want to change the snail shell on the spot? Just thinking, the snail boy over there began to take off his glasses. It seems that he wants to be serious. Beckoned, and Qin Lan took the initiative to gather together.

Then, he got a kiss that tasted like a snail.

It's dark on the roadside, eight o'clock in the evening in autumn. No one noticed the street corner stall at all, and they kissed each other for half a minute.

It's over. This was the first thought in Qin Lan's mind: I had known that my first kiss, which I had kept for 25 years, would be cheated away by a snail essence, so I might as well fall in love early. However, this guy is really good at kissing. This is the second idea.

"Breathe through your nose, will you?" Return to absolute being, just watching the snail boy staring at himself, Qin Lan felt his face was going to burn. He wanted to lose his temper, but he was afraid that the other person would see that it was the first kiss and look down on him. When he recalled the appearance of the snail, he felt very wronged: why, why! It was just a kiss. There is nothing to show off. It's also a racial gift. I'm afraid I didn't make a mistake at first.

Snail boy looked at him with a tangled face: "Otherwise, give you a chance to kiss back?" "Then I really thank you!" Qin Lan decided to eat this YaBaKui, he didn't prove the enemy's lesson. Also, this man eats snails directly and has never seen him use toothpicks. No matter how good he is, he has to plant it. "Is this your racial talent?" Qin Lan felt that he had been played, and the snail boy glanced at him faintly. "I told you I had a gift."

Under the influence of snail boy, Qin Lan gradually changed from an otaku to a social person. They watch movies, visit supermarkets and fry snails once a week. Shopping, going downstairs to get the courier, going out to pay the rent and other things that need to run around are all given to Qin Lan. Qin Lan also complained: "I have almost become a special errand boy at home." The snail boy answered him, "Otherwise, you pay and I run errands. Shall we exchange? " Qin Lan fell silent. You know, he is still an unemployed man, living on his little savings. "I will find a job one day, too." When he went out to buy food, he muttered something in a low voice, and then closed the door, which made the other person's eyes a little gloomy.

One afternoon, Qin Lan happily jumped in front of the snail boy with a magazine: "Look, I got a job! I signed a contract with the magazine and will be a columnist in the future. " He was so happy that he didn't notice that the other person was completely stunned. "Have you read my article? The editor said that my writing was sophisticated and I didn't look like a newcomer at all. He also said that if I have time, I can write a quick writing experience. " "In the future, I will work at home like you." "My payment can afford the rent. From tomorrow on, I won't have to rely on you to support me. " "By the way, housework should be redistributed. I also have a job, so you should help me go shopping ... "The young man in front said happily that the snail boy only felt cold in his heart and bitter in his mouth. He knew that he had a gift for writing when he was young. He has read all his works. He knew that he would become a great writer. He also knows that he likes eating snails. He knows everything about Qin Lan, but Qin Lan won't be his soon.

"Let's eat first." Snail boy returned to his usual deadpan. "Aren't you happy for me?" Qin Lan felt a little strange, and the other party looked unhappy. "No." Snail boy looks away. "I am very happy, really."

That day, the snail boy asked Qin a question: "Do you remember the ending of the original story of the snail girl?" "Well, the snail girl and the young man live happily ever after?" Qin Lan is eating his meal, and his speech is a bit vague. "Probably." Snail boy said nothing.

After that, the snail boy disappeared.

Qin Lan wanted to find him, but he was too busy to find time soon. He opened two columns in one breath, not including other manuscripts and his own personal serial. Why do you write novels so skillfully? Why did snail essence leave after working? Why do I always have deja vu in my head? As the problems piled up, Qin Lan felt that he was going to be schizophrenic, and even began to suspect that his two years with snail boy were fictitious.

I'm not crazy, really not crazy. Or a roadside stall, Qin Lan sitting in the corner of the poor light business snail. He clearly remembers that there once sat a man who ate snails instead of toothpicks, and he was cheated away by that man for his first kiss. Memory may deceive people, but snail shells don't. None of the snail shells he has sucked are complete. What's that snail essence like? Qin Lan began to recall: wearing a white shirt and gold-rimmed glasses, about 190, more than one head taller than himself; I often look indifferent, smile and show a small white tooth, and my kissing skills are very talented; Do not like to do housework, work at home and have money; Bad tongue, good at serious nonsense ... Thinking about it, Qin Lan felt sad: At least two years together, how did you leave? He can wipe his face with a paper towel, take out his mobile phone, and plan to find the original ending of "River snail girl".

A month later, Qin Lan found a private counseling clinic. As soon as he saw the doctor, he fell to the ground with a bang and touched porcelain on the spot.

Luo Bing, male, 27 years old, psychologist. For the first time in my life, I touched porcelain in the office, and the other person was still my own patient.

"You get up first, the ground is cold." "Don't." "Hey, it's time for everyone to see your jokes." "Don't." "Then what do you want, just say it? Let go of my trouser legs first. " Qin Lan gave him a white look: "You are my snail boy. You have to come home with me." "I'm not, I'm not. You have the wrong person. " Doctor Luo skillfully denied Sanlian, but Qin Lan saw a kite turn over and hugged the doctor.

The clinic is private and there are only two of them in the office. No one noticed that they had kissed each other for half a minute.

After the separation, Qin Lan still hugged the doctor tightly: "You are my snail boy, otherwise how do you explain this talent?" Dr. Luo was silent. Three seconds later, he sighed lightly: "They all say that kissing requires breathing through the nose, but why can't they learn?"

"I saw the end of the original" Snail Girl ". The snail girl returned to heaven after being discovered by the young man, leaving only a snail shell that can change rice. If you want to go back, where is your snail shell? " Qin Lan obediently lying in the consulting chair, sitting next to the doctor. "It is said that ontology was eaten by you. You don't know, I left for many reasons. " "I know," Qin Lan stared at the white ceiling. "I know everything. I remember everything. "

"I was a writer and became famous at the age of 22. Because I am too devoted to writing detective stories, I have a split personality inside. I almost committed a crime for materials and was handed over to the police. Because my parents divorced in their early years and no one was in charge, I had to hide in the rented room alone and not communicate with anyone. You accepted me because you are a fan of my books and are willing to provide me with free treatment.

The treatment effect is not obvious, and my state is sometimes good and sometimes bad. And I have a natural resistance to the hospital, always running home when you are not paying attention. In order to cure me completely, you decided to come into my life completely and know everything about me. So you find a suitable opportunity to find a reason to blame me when I get better and go out. In order to live with me, by the way, let me ignore my past self-enclosed memories and return to society as much as possible. "

Finally, Qin Lan turned away: "Dr. Luo, I am your patient. When I find a job to support myself, it means that the treatment is all over, right? " Dr. Luo Bing put down the pen for recording: "Yes, just like the exposed snail girl, you already know who I am, and I should disappear." "But I don't like this ending!" Qin Lan interrupted him: "You know, I am a writer, and I can rewrite works I don't like. Besides, you are not a snail girl, but a snail boy. You said it yourself. "

Dr. Luo looked at him and suddenly smiled: "What is the ending of the snail boy? The great writer told me? " Qin Lan posted it, and Dr. Luo held his neck, and the two men kissed for the first time.

The story of the snail boy has a simple ending: a snail who doesn't do housework touches porcelain and raises an unemployed young man. After being exposed, the two simply lived a happy life without shame.