Find some interesting English stories (translated into Chinese)

In 2008, the cottage wind blew all over the country. Bian Xiao finally learned that the "steel mobile phone" which combines the advantages of TV direct selling 18, and is not afraid of falling and stepping on a knife, turned out to be a fake. What impressed me most in 2008 was how the internet made waves of dirty culture popular and gave people something to talk about after dinner. The following are some fake English jokes invented by Bian Xiao. Most of us in China have been bored learning English at home since childhood. Many of us have never met a foreigner, so it is inevitable to create a more "fake" statement. Laugh after reading the content here, don't study hard! If you don't have a lightning rod, you won't be responsible for being struck by lightning. The funniest thing is the recently popular English version of Tell the Truth or Forrest Gump's version. It is said that Forrest Gump's stupid image is really a bit straightforward! Bian Xiao laughed hysterically after hearing the first sentence. Since then, this piece of music and these shocking English have been deeply branded in my heart. If you are not careful, you will lose your voice ... The lyrics are as follows: To be honest, I miss my home and my mother's white hair. To be honest, I love too much. When Mo slept, she slept, and she came ~ When she came, she became a soldier ~ When she came, I knew it was a big responsibility. You don't carry a gun. I don't carry a gun. Who will protect our mother? Who will protect her? Take a closer look. It's embarrassing, but there are no grammatical mistakes ... The singer has a very nice voice, a bit like Yu Junjian. Just don't say "come ~ come ~" as "come ~ come ~"! People will think that you are calling a pet ... There are many embarrassing movies every year, especially this year. There is a Dream of Red Mansions these days, and its predecessor, The Legend of the New White Snake, is still in English. The first scene of the opening ceremony is a classic lens that our generation has seen since childhood. Outside the painting, a few thirsty teenagers sang lightly: "Wait a thousand years, a thousand years, a chance ..." Several boys held pots and pans in one hand and spoke a little broken English, and staged a "drama" of Xu Xian's struggle with the sea. Bian Xiao looked at it intently, feeling familiar. It turned out to be the work of several schoolmates in Songjiang University Town. Pay tribute to them! The funny effect still needs extra points ... especially the little crab lying on the floor. The titles of some lyrics and lines are Legend of the White Snake and Legend of the New White Snake (previously translated as Legend of the White Snake). Bian Xiao feels better without "snake", otherwise it really looks like a horror movie. Lyrics: Wait a thousand years, wait a thousand years for an opportunity. Waited a thousand years, waited a thousand years, waited a thousand years. I have no regrets. Line: Xu Xian saves the white snake and confronts Fahai. Xu Xian: Fahai, come out and see me! Xu Xian: Fahai, come out! Fahai: Which one called me? Nowadays, young people are becoming more and more naive. Fahai: Which one is calling me? Nowadays, young people are really getting more and more rude. Xu Xian: You, stop! Give me my wife back! Xu Xian: You, stop it and give it back to my wife! After watching two funny jokes, let's look at a relatively "serious" one. Speaking English is a very open language, which has absorbed the essence of various languages in the world in the development of hundreds of years, including Chinese, which we are very proud of. The more inflow and essence of culture, the easier it is to radiate and influence the surrounding culture. Do you know the word "awesome"? Does it look familiar and a little puzzling? If you don't know, take a look at the following sentence to make sure that the more you read, the more confused you will be: many people feel that they are full of cow force and like to play pretend, but only reflect their shyness. Although these words are not elegant, they can be described as the best in China language, and the corresponding words are: Niu X, Zhuang X and Silly X. It is said that these words are written incorrectly. Niuren gave us correct guidance and listed many rich examples and word shape changes: newbility: correct spelling should be new, noun zhuangbility: correct spelling is drunbility, and noun shability: keep the original spelling. The following nouns extend the parts of speech of several words: dun bility 1, the root of dun bility is drunb, and the original meaning of the verb loading x is drunbing；; Past tense: drunbed；; Have drunbed 2, drunken bee: noun, a person with X. Lin is a drunken bee, but it is puzzling that dad likes her. Lin is a fake X, but my dad likes her. It's disgusting. 3.druber: a noun, a professional X. Example: Niu is a drunkard, and he has been a drunkard all his life. Who is a professional? Niu is a professional X. He has been pretending to be X all his life. He is a professional. 4.drunby: adjective, example with X: The way you play music on your mobile phone on the bus is very Drunby, not metion. This song is chanting Buddha. It's very pretentious for you to play music on your mobile phone on the bus, not to mention that the song is chanting Buddha. Playing with fake mobile phones is even more brilliant. Very noisy. I've seen it. ) 5. Noisy: Noun, X Pack Example: With more and more Starbucks operating in China, the noise is getting more and more serious. With more and more Starbucks operating in China, people's X-shirts are becoming more and more serious. Drublism: noun, pretending to be X-ism Example: The French Drublism Revolution began at 1863, and people seem to have noticed this. The movement of French pretending to be X-ism originated from 1863, and people seem to worship it. Newbility 1, the root and adjective of newby, originally meant cow X. Example: I think the song named "You are my rose, I am your flower" is very newby. I think that song, you are my rose, I am your flower, I am a cow. There is no latest, only new. There is no best x, only the best X. Niuren: a noun, Niu X. For example, Wang Xiaobo is a Niuren, and Luo Yonghao is also a Niuren. Wang Xiaobo is a cow X, and Luo Yonghao is also a cow X.3.. New babe: adjective, can be ox X, worthy of ox X for example: I think the cup of 34E is Newbabe, you should be proud. I think the 34e cup is worthy of OX X. You should be proud. 4. Newtonization: noun, cow X. Example: Newtonization of white-collar workers is a global problem. X of white-collar cattle is a global problem. Shaability1,the root of Shaability is shaby, noun, silly X. Example: Zhou thought Cui was a shaby, but it turned out that Zhou was the real big shaby. Zhou thinks Cui is a stupid X, but it turns out that Zhou is the real stupid X 2, shabbily, noun, silly X. For example, the power of your shabbily is as big as a gable. Your stupid X ability is as devastating as an earthquake. 3, Shabilization, noun, silly X cattle X, you must not think that it is a kind of terrapin culture, but it is still quite popular in Europe and America. An American who is familiar with Chinese shouted that the meaning of this word is too subtle, and any English word translated into it is a bit tasteless: the idea of untranslatable words is very good. This is a symbol of value; This adds a touch of solemn mystery to the translation work, otherwise the translation work is mainly to grab the nose, stare at the window and find something to press the book. But look, do you see it? We also have unspeakable things; Tragic ideals; We don't simply pull the plow. Sometimes I think there are untranslatable words, sometimes I don't think so. When the weather is fine, it seems that any word or phrase can be carefully translated into English, even if the word itself disappears, it can only be found through the subtle fluctuations of the surrounding text. But on a bad day, I was trying to translate níubé. On the surface, "cow" is not untranslatable: the words "cow" and "cow" can be translated into English very accurately. Please forgive me for saying "cow pussy". Cow refers to zoology and cow refers to anatomy. However, although the extension of "Niubi" is embarrassing, its connotation is not obvious at all. "Cowardly" is a term of approval, perhaps the greatest such term in China's spoken language. "Awesome" is an attitude and a way of life: you don't care what others think of you at all, so you can do whatever you want. Know exactly what you can do, make a decision on action, and let the consequences go to hell. This is the essence of "cool", but it is used to the nth degree and a dirty word is added. Of course, like all great philosophical concepts, being arrogant has its opposite-excessive arrogance can lead to arrogance, arrogance, arrogance, bossiness and very dangerous driving. The key difference between being positive and being negative is that you have the ability to support your attitude, while you don't. Therefore, when it comes to people in power positions, these people think they are reasonable to some extent, which is the boundary between positive and negative blue. Bian Xiao believes that in this case, these words will be included in the English dictionary sooner or later and become mainstream red English. At the beginning of learning English, many people have done phonetic notation to mark English pronunciation in Chinese. For example, add "Bigger" after big, "Kaomu" after come, and so on ... Learning a language is an embarrassing thing, and foreigners have also done things to mark Chinese pronunciation in English when learning Chinese ... Notes on Chinese for Foreigners is very interesting. First of all, please read the original text: Dear Tim shall by Too Doll Doll by Too Jack Won Dolphin Long Can Jim shall by Too Low Shall by Too When Doll Low, Doll Car Low Dolphin Long Doll Hameason "More awesome!" Don't understand? In fact, Chinese is: (After reading Chinese, you will know why international friends always pronounce Chinese strangely ...) The next day (Dear Tim), the little white rabbit (shall by too) went to the house of the big white rabbit (doll by too) to play with the big bad wolf (dolphin dragon). The little white rabbit saw (Can Jim), the little white rabbit smelled (dark and low), dodged (the doll car was low), and the wolf shouted (Can Jim). ("More powerful!" The essence of the full text lies in this sentence ...) Every time I visit Chenghuang Temple, Qipu Road and other places, I often see vendors gesturing at foreigners with a big calculator, and foreigners will be pulled by their sleeves if they want to leave. There are also some vendors, who obviously have high academic qualifications and speak English fluently. Of course, business is easy to do. The following "indigenous religion" in Beijing women's street is quite interesting, but the effect is a little poor; It seems that we still cannot take English for granted. We can't learn Chinese like the foreigner in front. We have time to listen to what foreigners say so that others can understand. English Test of Beijing Women's Street Shanzhai = How are you? Three grams of oil = thank you for "welcome" and "good price". What languages are these? So is English! Merchants in Women's Street, Chaoyang District, Beijing are bargaining with foreign customers in this "authentic English". The number of foreign customers in women's street has increased tenfold in the past two months, so the management company requires businesses to make up their English, otherwise they will have to keep their level low. In order to protect business, businesses have to spell English in Mandarin according to the emergency English provided by the authorities, but "mother tongue English" makes foreigners confused, and some foreigners even talk to businesses in Mandarin. Woman Street is located near the third embassy district in Chaoyang District. With the new U.S. Embassy moved into the third embassy district and officially opened last month, the number of foreign tourists in Women's Street has increased from dozens every day to about 800 at present. Gao Zhenjun, deputy general manager of the Women's Street Management Company, said that merchants can't adapt to talking to foreigners for a while, and they can't keep their guests just by pointing or using computers. For emergency, they distributed emergency forms in English to more than 1000 merchants, with Mandarin pronunciation, such as marking "thank you" as "three grams of oil". "I don't know English phonetic symbols, I can only follow Chinese, and now I learn to sell." "I have learned more than a dozen words, and people don't understand them." Some women's street merchants said. Although the merchants try to speak "English" according to the emergency table, English pronunciation is very stiff because they spell English directly in Mandarin, and the southern accent of the merchants makes foreign customers in Women's Street think that the merchants speak Chinese. The day before yesterday, a New Zealand student who knows a little Chinese bargained with Mr. Li in a shop. After several difficult exchanges, the students said to Li in Mandarin: "You'd better speak Chinese!" " The customers around laughed. In addition to providing an English emergency desk, the management unit of Women's Street currently broadcasts English for merchants for one hour every day, and at the same time invites people to conduct English training. After that, professionals will be invited to conduct oral and written tests on the merchants. Merchants who fail the exam will be kicked out. Beijing Women's Street Emergency English Sentence Wonderful Meaning Excellent English Sentence Good Price Meaning Fair Price No Discount Meaning No Discount May I help you? (Beauty loves to pounce on you) Meaning: What can I do for you? How's this? (Justus) Meaning: How about this? I want a suit. I want a suit. I want to buy a suit.