Ask for 20 colorful jokes, and 50 points is yours.

When the husband heard that his wife was having an affair, he planned revenge. One night, while his wife was sleeping, he rubbed concentrated rodenticide on her nipples. The next night, my wife came home late, and my husband asked why. My wife said bitterly, "Our leader is poisoned to death!" The husband asked, "Do you know who did it?" The wife said, "The murderer is very cunning." Even the police can't find out how the poison was passed, but there are clues. We are investigating Sanlu and Shengyuan milk powder. "The husband asked," why? "The wife said," the leader said when he died, "Oh, my God! Is there any safe milk in the world?

1. A gentleman stayed in a hotel and called the bar in the middle of the night: How much is the cheapest lady? Answer: "A hundred, but ugly, beautiful 500." A gentleman said to be ugly. After the young lady came, a gentleman asked her to sit naked on the sofa and go to bed and sleep soundly until dawn. The young lady asked inexplicably, "Why did you call me here?" A gentleman replied, "There are too many mosquitoes in the room!" " This story shows that any resource can be used by me as long as I change my mind. )

2, women are so ugly that they run away when they see ghosts. A poor designer made it into a new year's picture, and the advertising words were: hanging the door to avoid evil; Hang up the bed, contraception! The designer won an award and entered a well-off class.

A mosquito entered the city and was very hungry. Seeing a young lady with a towering chest, she took a sharp bite. As a result, her mouth was full of silicone, so she sighed, "Alas, food safety is too problematic! Where can I find safe milk? "

The plowman went to town to buy condoms and forgot what condoms said. After wandering around the pharmacy counter for a long time, I still can't remember. Finally, I had to ask the salesgirl in a low voice, "Miss, is there a plastic bag for JB?"

5, a pair of lovers make love, the man always likes to say: "I want to kill you!" I haven't seen you for several days. The woman found a man's unit, and the man asked, what's wrong? Female softly: "Nothing, just don't want to live ..."

6. A group of women are waiting for B-ultrasound examination. The nurse shouted, "Line up, Cai bilibili's left; Black and white to the right of bilibili. " A woman didn't understand, so she opened her skirt and took off her underwear and asked the nurse, "What do you think of my B?" The nurse said angrily, "You are a cow!"

7. The hen complained to the bull, "It's unfair that humans ask me to lay more eggs while they plan their own families!" The old cow said, "What the hell are you? People all over the world drink my wife's milk, who TM calls me dad! "

8. A blind couple agreed on a code word for sex. The man said, "Play cards." The woman said, "Go ahead." The young people next door often hear playing cards and wonder how blind people can play cards. So I took a peek and saw that. One day, while the blind man was away, the young man sneaked into his house and said to the blind man, "Let's play cards." The blind girl said, "Go." So two people XX. Young people have great skills. At the climax, the blind girl even boasted: "Good cards." In the evening, the blind man wanted to play cards with his wife again. The blind girl said, "Didn't you play once during the day?" Hearing this, the male blind man was anxious and angry and exclaimed, "No, someone stole the card!" " "

9. The female leader came home at night and was suddenly boarded by two men. A man threatened: "Be honest, rob the color." The female leader laughed and scolded: "Damn, such a happy thing made me so nervous and scared to death. I thought I was double-regulated! "

10, the car married the train, but soon divorced. Everyone asked why, and the car said sadly, "He worries about me being hit every day, and I am always afraid that he will cheat. I really can't stand it. "

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In the early years of the Republic of China, due to the poverty of the people, the whole family usually slept in a bed and covered with a quilt.

One night in winter-Xiaoming's father suddenly wants to have sex with Xiaoming's mother. .

However, Xiaoming's mother refused his father's request for fear of waking him up. Xiaoming's father still tries to pull the bow. . .

So the two men covered themselves with quilts and began to do that.

Just as the two became more and more enthusiastic, Xiaoming's father suddenly asked his mother to cooperate and cried.

But my mother was afraid of waking Xiao Ming, so she had to. Just when they couldn't hold on, Xiao Ming, who slept next to him, finally spoke. . Mom, please call quickly, I'm so cold! "

I saw you the other day. You are very uncomfortable sitting in the sun. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: keep your voice down, and no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned!

On the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her, don't you know I'm pregnant? See that person says nervously only: "the child is not mine!" ! "

The teacher said: I want class flowers for two people. So I took a class flower, took a class and chose two most beautiful girls. The teacher said, "Go to the Academic Affairs Office to move flowers! ! "

I lost the battle between glutinous rice and steamed stuffed bun. I was not convinced when I met Shao Shao on the road. I saw Shao Shao immediately take off his coat and said angrily, "In fact, I am undercover! ! "

A pair of flies are eating. The son frowned and asked his mother, "mom, why do we stand on the stool every day?" The stool is so dirty! " "Mom said," don't say such unsanitary things when you eat! " "

A hunter was hunting and found two birds in the tree when he was looking for the target. He quickly aimed his gun and shot down a bird with a bang. When he looked forward, he found it was hairless. While wondering, another bird flew down and cursed the hunter. Damn it, you knocked her down as soon as I coaxed her to undress.

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How much money is there on it?