The strongest joke in history

1. What is America's ass? I have a belly in China. Am I proud?

2. The collapse of young people begins with employment, the collapse of middle-aged people begins with borrowing money, and the collapse of old people begins with learning to dance square dance.

3. When someone praises me, I feel relaxed on the surface, thinking: You have a good eye; When someone praises others, I look pale and say to myself, I want to see what this person has.

4. Lying in the bathtub.

Surrounded by white ceramics and water, I suddenly feel ... I feel like taking a shit in the toilet. ...

The company is so busy that there is no shortage of people, and the partners will date their girlfriends tomorrow. I happened to meet a female boss in front of the office in the afternoon. I said kindly, "Boss, your eye shadow is uneven today, your lips are too thick and your clothes are too old-fashioned ..." She gave me a white look and said, "Go to work!" After a while, when my partner went to ask for leave, there was a lion's roar: "No, get out!" "

6. If someone gives it to you because you are ugly.

500 dollars, will you accept the money? Of course, otherwise I am not only ugly, but also stupid.

7. Ask mom: What is kindness? What is kindness? My mother Gherardini said: I don't know others. I think it was my kindness and kindness that made you go crazy like a wild dog when you were young, but didn't kill you!

I bought a Rubik's cube for my son. He studied for a long time and had no clue. I looked at him disdainfully, took the Rubik's cube and said, "Idiot, look at me!" " "Then, his hand turned like electricity ... I saw my son dazzled. Suddenly, I twisted the Rubik's Cube!

9. Shopping with my best friend. Her son called her, and she deliberately teased her son: Hello! Who are you? Who are you looking for? My best friend's son answered angrily on the phone: Mom, I am your baby. I am looking for the most beautiful and lovely mother in the world! My best friend smiled proudly at me. I listened to the sound of small milk, and my heart softened. I picked up my cell phone and called my son. As soon as the phone was connected, I deliberately asked: Who are you? The son replied impatiently over there: mom, don't be a fool! Beep-beep ...

Watching TV series at home and seeing the lovelorn plot, I said, "I really want to have a magic pen of Ma Liang to paint a happy future for all the brothers and sisters who are lovelorn because of lack of money." "single dog, he is covered with lice and in the mood to tease others!" Mom snapped her teeth.

1 1. People travel during small holidays to make themselves feel comfortable at work.

12. Just now, I went to the barber shop for a haircut. The barber asked me where to cut it, and I said I cut my chin. Then he said what chin to cut?

Thirteen. In the dormitory, a young lady who handed out leaflets came in: "Hello, can I send out a leaflet and put it directly in the trash can?"

14. A female colleague picked up a crayfish on the roadside and took it back to the company to keep it in a glass bottle. I said to raise the decoration water, and then she went to the water dispenser to fill it. After a while, I watched her come back with an empty bottle. I asked, "Where are the crayfish?" She said, "Press the wrong switch and it will be cooked."

15. Fraternities betray you, women will leave you, money will tempt you, and life will make things difficult for you. Only math can't work. No matter how you study, you can't.