Wuhan dialect joke

Ticket sales] The airport automatic broadcast keeps broadcasting: "Wuhang 045 1 flight, Shanghai, 80 yuan fare, no change, please show me your monthly ticket."

[Security check] There was a lot of noise. Some people were carrying snakeskin bags, some were carrying live chickens and ducks, and the security inspector was sweating: "Broken bag, you have to pay for tickets, it is overweight." "What column? Last time, two snakeskin bags were red, and I smashed them. " Another male general charmed me: "Come, abductor, have a cigarette. Look at what I did with my live chicken bag. If the cabin can't hold them, tie them to the wing of the plane to catch the ball. Anyway, they can fly by themselves, without consuming the oil of the plane ... "

[Boarding] The flight attendants all wear red embroidered badges, receive small flags and hold small speakers: "Squeeze, squeeze, wait in line. You are in there. Squeeze Hazare in ... Take out the ticket, whoever gets the ticket will come up, and you will be fined ten yuan! ..... You're welcome. It's Captain Wang's father-in-law. This is still shocking. Go in and ... "

The plane climbed to the height of 80 stories and flew to Wu Guang side. The captain opened the hatch and shouted, "Hey, the one on the 80th floor, Shanghai can't leave, it's ten yuan each!" " There is room! Come on up, I'll jump over! "

[Flying] A child wants to pee, and the stewardess said, "The hair and feces are all piled with red peony. Here, I'll open the door for you. I'll come first. " By the way, it's windy outside, so fasten your seat belt! "

Co-pilot: "Bitch, which one is ahead, and the plane and train!" " "

Captain: "No.2! A son of a bitch knew that he would rob business with Lao Tzu and shout to sit back, so Lao Tzu would surpass him ... "

During the flight, the flight attendant said, "Black Laozi, there are UFOs outside!" " "

Captain: "Look at Harry's head! 20 yuan, an alien. Ask them if they can go? " The passenger is impatient: "A zebra, how many people have to be scattered, all squeeze into your mother's mouth and return it ..."

The plane shook violently, and the stewardess said, "Ladies and gentlemen, the plane is boiling, and the two engines can't hit it." We may be late. " Passenger: "Why did you do this when you were carrying your mother?"? Your mother's four engines are dead, so we don't want to spend the night in the sky ... "