How to wean a three-year-old child?

All breast-feeding mothers face the problem of weaning at different stages. Weaning is far from simple in the literal sense, but a major change in the relationship between mother and child. Successful weaning is very important for the physical and mental health of both mother and child. Improper mastery of weaning methods can easily leave lifelong regrets for mothers and psychological trauma to children. One of the most basic and common questions about weaning is: When should I wean my child? There is no uniform standard answer to this question. When to wean children is a private decision made by each mother and son according to their own specific conditions, and others have no right to tell them what to do.

If we must know the best time, the answer is to look at the child's growth, and it is best to wait until the child automatically weans and no longer needs breast milk. This weaning method is the most smooth and relaxed, and it will avoid many contradictions, struggles, crying, sadness and anxiety between mother and child that are inevitable because of premature forced weaning.

You will ask, when will children automatically get rid of the demand for breast milk?

Every child's growth schedule is different. Generally speaking, automatic weaning occurs between one and a half and three years old. Babies under one year old will not be weaned automatically. Even if the child shows that breastfeeding is not good or refuses to breastfeed, it is because the breastfeeding environment is not quiet enough, there is too much interference, or because of psychological reasons.

Maybe you will be surprised at this time: between one and a half and three years old? Can children be breastfed for so long? Then why are people around me, including doctors, urging me to wean my child after six months? They say that after six months, there is nothing to breastfeed. If you continue breastfeeding, your child will not eat well. Indeed, for many people (including some doctors), breastfeeding over one year old is a new thing. In addition, in their minds, there are two deep-rooted prejudices against breast milk:

The first common prejudice: "After X months, breast milk will lose its nutrition."

A large number of studies have proved that breast milk is rich in nutrients, such as fat, protein, calcium and vitamins. Especially immune factors that are vital to children's health. The child's own immune system will not be perfect until he is about six years old. Prior to this, long-term breastfeeding was equivalent to establishing a natural immune barrier for children, which could effectively prevent the invasion of many diseases, such as ear canal, gastrointestinal tract, respiratory tract and other common infections in children, as well as serious diseases such as childhood cancer, childhood diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis. Those allergic babies should be breastfed until they are over one year old. What is particularly amazing is that with the growth of children's age and the increase of complementary food intake, the frequency of breast-feeding has decreased, but breast milk will automatically concentrate nutrients and antibodies, and the nutrients needed by children will be delivered in exactly the same way.

As important as nutritional value, long-term breastfeeding can completely meet the psychological and emotional needs of young children. Prolonging breastfeeding helps to consolidate the intimate relationship between mother and child and build children's sense of security. When children are tired, frightened, upset or sad, breastfeeding can give them the most timely, effective and warmest comfort, so that when they need help, they get help from people, not things (pacifiers, toys, snacks, etc.). ).

Sucking is an essential demand in the process of baby's growth, and this demand will not fade until about three years old. Long-term breastfeeding enables children to fully meet this physiological need in their mother's arms, and the mother's nipples will not be spoiled, broken or stained like other sucking substitutes (fingers, nipples, toys, snacks, quilt corners, hair, etc.). Children who get satisfaction from their mothers often suck their fingers or put everything in their mouths, thus reducing the chance of getting sick.

Long-term breastfeeding has many other benefits, such as being conducive to the development of children's oral cavity, thus improving children's language ability. For example, the unique growth hormone in breast milk promotes the development of the child's brain and is also beneficial to the mother's own health. This is why the World Health Organization, Breastmilk International, the US Department of Health and other authoritative organizations call on mothers all over the world to insist on breastfeeding until their children are two years old.

The second common prejudice: children will not eat well because they are attached to breast milk. This statement has neither any scientific basis nor serious logic. The addition of breast milk and complementary food and the transition to formal eating have always been harmonious and complementary.

Friends, not at all, not * * * sworn enemies. Breastfeeding helps children to accept solid food, because the mother's diet composition and taste will penetrate into breast milk (so experts suggest that mothers should pay attention to their diet during lactation and try to avoid irritating food, so as not to cause discomfort, allergies or even refuse to eat milk). Children have tasted all kinds of foods from breast milk and are very willing to accept new foods. On the contrary, children who eat milk powder are sometimes inevitably picky eaters, because the taste of milk powder is the same, and there is no change. Children are used to a single taste and are unwilling to accept new tricks. Others say that children insist on breastfeeding and will never accept milk powder or fresh milk. Breast milk is sweeter than milk powder and milk, and children who are used to breast milk certainly resist milk powder and milk. But this is definitely not an "eternal" state, nor is it an unsolvable problem, nor is it a stupid way to wean.

Some children, whether they eat breast milk or milk powder, do have the problem of eating badly, but this has nothing to do with what milk they eat, but it is caused by the mistakes of adults feeding. It is very likely that parents did not adopt scientific feeding methods and cultivate their children's good eating habits during the stage of adding complementary food. Or because parents always think that children don't eat enough, forcing children to eat more leads to anorexia; Or because parents urge their children to eat too often, or even chase them around with bowls, resulting in the loss of hunger. Diet is an important way for babies to learn and explore life. Parents must be cautious and grasp the feeding relationship in this respect. Children are born hungry and full, and adults don't have to work too hard. The feeding principle should be to let the children be masters, eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full; Eat carefully at the table when eating, and then leave the table to play after eating. When children have food problems, if it is not pathological reasons, parents should examine their feeding methods and attitudes and find the root of the problem, instead of shifting the responsibility to breast milk and forcing children to wean, causing greater losses and injuries to children. Children who eat milk powder don't eat well. What do you want them to "break"? After breastfeeding, the child still can't eat well. Who do you want to take the responsibility?

So, are there any children who are addicted to breast milk and don't like it? Yes! However, this is still not the fault of breast milk. Most children stick to their nipples and refuse to eat when they meet their mothers, because there is a problem with the relationship between mother and child, and because children don't get enough care from their mothers. In addition to breastfeeding, the time spent with children is not high enough in quality and quantity, and children ask for milk endlessly to meet the needs of their mothers. Under such circumstances, if weaning, wouldn't it be against the child's wishes?

Weaning at this time will cause the deepest psychological harm to children.

There are also some common factors that cause mothers to wean early. For example, mothers who need to go to work don't need to be weaned. If the work unit has the conditions, they can squeeze the milk out and store it in bottles, and let the caregivers feed it to the children during the day, and the mother will breastfeed directly after work. If there are no conditions at work, children can eat milk powder during the day and mothers can eat breast milk at home, which is far stronger than complete weaning. There are also mothers who need short-term business trips and do not need to be weaned. They can squeeze the milk out early and store it in the freezer, and give it to their children when their mother is away. During the business trip, mothers should pay attention to milking in time to ensure that the milk secretion does not decrease.

Weaning is a prudent decision made by every mother after careful consideration after understanding the benefits of extending breastfeeding. Too many mothers give in to the pressure around them, wean their children early and then regret it. There are also many mothers who originally planned to wean. After seeing the benefits of extending breastfeeding, they changed their minds and continued breastfeeding.

Carry breast-feeding to the end

Since Sam was six months old, a noise has been buzzing in our ears: "Why are you still breastfeeding?" It's time to break it! Your milk is not nutritious! "Every time I hear this argument, I can't help asking," What do you think my milk is? Boiling water People who are asked often can't tell why, just keep saying, "No nutrition, no nutrition. "

So I found that people are just repeating this hearsay idea, just following the crowd, and no one can produce scientific evidence to prove that breast milk after six months is not nutritious. What about the facts? Contrary to what these people think. At any stage, breast milk is full of nutrients, especially antibodies against diseases.

The so-called "no nutrition" is misinformation. Before six months, babies can simply get all the nutrients they need to grow up through breastfeeding. After six months, it is no longer enough to rely solely on breast milk to provide nutrition for the baby's growth. It is necessary to add complementary food and take nutrition from other sources. But breast milk is still the most important source of nutrition. If you are weaned at this time, you should still feed your child with milk powder. Compared with the two, of course, breast milk is better, so why wean?

Some premature or allergic babies, some are not interested in complementary food, and some are allergic to complementary food and cannot eat it. They can completely rely on breastfeeding until they are over one year old or even two years old.

The bigger Sam is, the louder this noise is, and another noise is mixed in:

"Don't wean, will eat addiction. The bigger it is, the harder it is to break! "

This statement tells a truth from the opposite side: breast milk is not only the food of the child's body, but also the food of the spirit. Satisfying hunger and thirst is only part of the purpose of breastfeeding. After a minute or two of breastfeeding, the baby's little body will be completely relaxed and his little face will show an extremely happy expression. If the baby falls, it hurts and bumps. If you eat two mouthfuls of breast milk, it will immediately relieve pain, relieve and relieve shock. Overexcited children will calm down on their mother's nipples, and sad children will be happy on their mother's nipples.

Of course, when a child cries, there are other ways to coax him: singing, walking, hugging and shaking. However, no method is as effective as breastfeeding. Breast milk is simply a kind of magic: change! The fidgety child immediately became happy. There are also physiological reasons: sucking is a necessary sedative for a fast-growing villain. Those weaned children will use other things to meet their sucking needs: such as bottles, nipples, thumbs, other fingers, hair, quilt horns and so on. To continue breastfeeding is actually to teach children to seek comfort from others when they encounter difficulties. And weaned children need to seek relief from things.

"Eating is a comfort, especially when someone is with you."

An American mother said: "Obviously, breastfeeding is better than giving a child a biscuit and letting him play by himself. Breastfeeding is like sitting down with a compassionate friend for a cup of tea. " Opponents of breastfeeding say that breastfeeding for too long will cultivate children's dependence and affect their independence.

Psychological researchers point out that many timid and clingy school-age children are often placed in an environment that requires too much independent ability prematurely. Only when children are sure that their mother will always be there to support them in case they can't master it alone can they cultivate their true independence. Both experience and experiments tell us that the best way to help children become mature and independent is to meet their needs for dependence when they are young. Breastfeeding can completely and deeply satisfy the dependence of children than giving them bottles or pacifiers.

Breastfed children tend to be more independent than weaned children of the same age. They like to try all kinds of new things and are not afraid of strangers. Because their dependence has been fully satisfied, their independent ability has been more fully developed, played and displayed.

Mary Ainsworth, a psychologist mentioned earlier, found through years of observation and research that mothers who are sensitive and active to their children cry less, prefer to explore new things, and have less anxiety caused by temporary separation from their mothers. She also found that mothers give their children more physical contact (hugs and comforts), children are more willing to communicate with adults, are happier when they put it down, and actively look for other things to play with. She said: "Giving the baby the caress he naturally needs will not make him a clingy and dependent child;" Instead, it will promote the gradual growth of independent ability. Those babies who don't get enough hugs will strongly object to their parents letting go and don't want to play alone. In fact, their own physical contact is somewhat ambiguous-they seek to be hugged, but their response is not positive when they are hugged, but if they are let go, they will not do it. "

Breastfeeding is the best and most natural way to meet children's need for caress. What better way than holding the child in your arms and satisfying the child's physical and mental needs with warm body and sweet milk?

People who advocate early weaning should think about it: Whose need is weaning? Is it the needs of children or adults? Because the only benefit of early weaning is to free the mother from the hard work of breastfeeding.

An American mother described her close friend as having a completely different concept of feeding: "Her first child was weaned for two weeks and totally refused to breastfeed her second child. I am very disdainful and impatient about my long-term breastfeeding. Sometimes I really want to tell her that if I had put the children's needs first, I wouldn't have these two overly clingy children today, and I wouldn't have spent all my time with this child or that child. Not to mention how much money she will save, the health of herself and her children will benefit a lot. " (Female Art of Breastfeeding)

So when should I wean my child?

The answer is that it is best to wait until the child is ready to wean himself. Listen to the voices of the children. Every child's mental development speed is different, some are fast and some are slow. Some children are not interested in breastfeeding when they are one and a half years old, and some children are happy to eat when they are three years old. But generally speaking, when a child is about two years old, the independence requirement is relatively strong, so weaning is easier and more natural. Of course, if the mother really feels that breastfeeding is too hard to support herself, then she should master the weaning time by herself. The only reason why I can't wean is-"people laugh at me, and my child is still breastfeeding at that age, so I am broken."

200 1 At the time of writing this book, Sam had just celebrated her first birthday and was still breastfeeding.

Sticking to breastfeeding is far from easy. This year, my nipple suffered countless times: at first, it was chapped for six weeks, and then it was mastitis many times, which was also very painful. Sam started teething two and a half months ago. He started biting me. He often grows four teeth at the same time, so he bites hard. I've tried everything in the book that others taught me to stop him from biting, but it didn't have much effect. I don't know how many times the nipple has been bitten, and the pain has become a common occurrence for me. But I never thought about weaning. Because when I saw Sam, I knew how important breastfeeding was. Sam is a very healthy and strong child, cheerful, generous, love to laugh, like to play with people, do not recognize strangers, do not bully people, do not pester people. He has a firm sense of self-confidence and security, which is at least partly due to my insistence on breastfeeding. (Sam was completely weaned when he was two years old and three months old. For details, please refer to Give Children Freedom. )

The International Breastfeeding Association, the US Department of Health and the World Health Organization all recommend breastfeeding until at least one year old, preferably two years old. Antonia Noviro, the former American Department of Health, wrote: "Breast milk is an ideal food for babies, because it not only provides complete nutrition, but also contains white blood cells and protein, which can be used to prevent and treat intestinal, respiratory and ear infections. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding until at least one year old (I personally think that children who are fed to two years old are lucky). "

In 2000, the US Department of Health issued the Blueprint for Breastfeeding Action, calling on employers and all sectors of society to provide convenience for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding has become a national policy in the United States.

The American Academy of Pediatrics' policy statement on breast-feeding and human breast-feeding application, which was revised in February 2005, pointed out that breast-feeding should be carried out for at least one year, and it should be continued as long as the mother and child are willing? There is no upper limit for the duration of breastfeeding, and there is no evidence that children who continue breastfeeding in the third year will cause psychological or developmental harm. Someone asked: "Children who sleep with milk are prone to dental caries." Don't worry, lactose in breast milk will basically not cause dental caries; Adding sucrose to milk powder can corrode teeth more easily. As mentioned above, even dentists are encouraging long-term breastfeeding, saying that sucking helps the development of facial muscles and gums, and helps the baby grow healthy teeth and beautiful face. There is a saying in the dental circle: "Your efforts in breastfeeding will be shown on your child's face in the future." Therefore, just for the baby's beauty, bright eyes and white teeth, breastfeeding should be carried out to the end.

Weaning, please take your time.

Every mother's breastfeeding experience is different, but all mothers will eventually face the same situation, that is, weaning their children.

"When should I wean my child? How to break it? How long will it take to break? "

Some mothers are eager to ask these questions soon after their children are born. Why do you think of weaning when you start breastfeeding? I'm afraid the main reason lies in some prejudice against breastfeeding in society, which holds that babies should be weaned early at a certain stage. These new mothers look at the sweet appearance of their baby's breastfeeding, and are deeply afraid that the baby will go bad when it is time to wean. Coupled with the rumor that "the earlier weaning is, the easier it is, and the bigger it is, the harder it is to break", which makes it full of anxiety about weaning.

"Weaning" sounds decisive and violent in Chinese. In fact, in English, the word wean comes from the root, which means "satisfaction" and means "gradual". In the long historical process of mankind, weaning has always been a natural process, indicating that children have finally eaten enough milk and no longer need breast milk. However, nowadays, due to prejudice and lack of information, many mothers no longer regard weaning as a natural pleasant process, but a terrible experience full of pain and struggle. Which weaning method is adopted by mothers plays a vital role in the physical and mental comfort of mothers and children. If the weaning method is proper, weaning at any stage will be very smooth. Improper means will do harm to both mother and son.

What should be avoided most is sudden weaning. Some mothers take measures such as going out or sending their children to other places to wean their children suddenly. Doing so will bring great physical discomfort to the parturient (the pain of rising milk), and will also bury more serious health problems in the future. At the same time, because breastfeeding is not only to provide food for children, but also a source of comfort and intimacy, sudden weaning will cause trauma to children's minds.

There are also some mothers who apply pepper and bitter medicine. To prevent their children from breastfeeding, which is also very inappropriate. It will make children feel cheated, distrust their mothers and even the world, and even cause their anger and anxiety.

In rare cases, when a mother suddenly weans for medical reasons, some measures should be taken to relieve discomfort: wearing a loose and supportive bra, eating less salt and drinking more water, regularly squeezing out some milk to relieve the pain of rising milk, and so on. Don't corset your chest, and don't take the so-called "medicine for returning milk". Research shows that these traditional practices do more harm than good.

At the same time, children who are suddenly weaned also need special care and care. Children also need extra hugs and attention to choose the right formula according to their age. Some mothers wean their children in a cold way, which actually runs counter to the needs of their children. What a child needs most at the weaning stage is for his mother to convince him that he is still loved.

How to wean a baby in a planned way

Many mothers have to wean their babies because of work or other reasons when they are not ready for weaning. Weaning in a planned and gradual way is far better than weaning suddenly. The best way is to cancel breast milk every two or three days, so that the mother's milk secretion will gradually decrease and the discomfort of raising milk will be less; At the same time, the mother also has enough time to observe whether the baby adapts to such changes and give the baby enough extra care to replace the intimate relationship between mother and child during breastfeeding. Some babies have very strong sucking requirements and may look for nipple substitutes, such as thumbs, when weaning. At this time,

Mothers can choose to give their children bottles or pacifiers to meet their sucking needs.

The actual operation of many weaned babies varies with age. Mothers should consult experts to see what nutrients are most suitable to replace breast milk. Young children need to transition to formula milk and bottles. If a child who is almost one year old has learned to drink water from a cup and eat complementary food normally, there is no need to use a bottle. For younger babies, the biggest consideration during weaning is nutrition. Replace breast milk with formula every two or three days. After about two weeks, the baby gradually transitioned to only eating breast milk once or twice a day. If you are not in a hurry to wean completely, you can continue to feed like this for two weeks. As long as the baby eats, you will have enough milk for him.

How to wean children in infancy

No matter how old the child is, breast milk will provide rich nutrition. However, for older children, the emotional factors of breastfeeding become more important. Therefore, weaning at this stage may require weeks or even months of careful planning, conditioning and care. Dr. Sears said, "A smart baby will not give up the breastfeeding relationship he enjoys very much unless there are equally attractive emotional nutrients to attract him to leave." According to the weaning experience of many mothers, the following points will make the weaning of young children smoother:

Give your child a regular diet and avoid hunger and thirst. At the same time, we should also observe other reasons why he needs breastfeeding: he needs to be close to his mother, he needs to suck, he needs comfort (when he is injured, sick or sad), he is bored, used to doing nothing, or he needs to fall asleep. Do not take the initiative to feed, but do not refuse. In other words, give the child food if he wants, and don't take the initiative to feed him without asking. Try to change your child's schedule. Some children will ask for breastfeeding at a fixed time and place. Changing these original habits will help to eliminate children's requirements for breastfeeding.

Encourage the father of the child or other relatives and friends who can help to play an active role in the weaning process. If a child usually asks for milk before going to bed or waking up, you can ask others to help him fall asleep or get up and get dressed.

When you feel that your child will ask for breastfeeding, provide other substitutes or distract him. It is best to provide a substitute before the child asks for breastfeeding, because once he asks for breastfeeding, giving him a substitute will make him feel rejected. Substitutes should be healthy snacks and drinks, not candy. In addition, taking him to interesting places will further distract his attention from breast milk.

Children around two years old, if they already know the meaning of waiting, can take the means of delaying breastfeeding to avoid breastfeeding; Maybe we can talk to the older child and persuade him to give up breastfeeding.

One advantage of planned and step-by-step weaning is that mothers can master it flexibly under special circumstances. Mothers must pay attention to their children's reactions, respect their choices and see which methods are more suitable for their children. At the same time, in some cases (such as illness, injury or before going to bed), it is essential for children to breastfeed. Mothers can allow their children to continue eating. In other general cases, they should stop breastfeeding first, and in special cases, they should stop breastfeeding last.

Natural weaning

Although today's society generally expects babies to be weaned before the age of one, throughout human history, in most cultures, the average breastfeeding period of children is 2 to 4 years, and natural weaning is also the most common weaning method. Some mothers choose natural weaning because they think it is right; Some mothers choose to wean themselves naturally because they know it is the least troublesome.

Many mothers are afraid that if they don't take the initiative to wean their children, they will keep eating and never stop breastfeeding. In fact, children will always get rid of breastfeeding requirements automatically, just as they will gradually get rid of childish behavior. How long will it take? There is no clear answer. Just as there is no unified timetable for starting to walk, teething, controlling defecation, etc., there are great differences between children. Automatic weaning allows each child to grow up according to his own unique rules and wean according to his own schedule. All children have one sex, that is, they will eventually stop breastfeeding.

The child's needs and the mother's feelings If the mother tries every means to distract the child, the child still cries and insists on breastfeeding, indicating that the weaning process may be too fast for the child to accept. Other signs that the weaning process is too fast include the change or retrogression of some behaviors of children, such as stuttering, frequent waking up at night, being too clingy, too anxious, biting people, and even physiological phenomena that have never appeared before, such as gastrointestinal discomfort or constipation.

Children are also influenced by their mothers' emotions. Don't forget, weaning is not only to break the habits, needs and happiness of children, but also to break the habits, needs and happiness of mothers. Many mothers will feel disappointed, lost, guilty and even regret during this period. This also requires mothers to pay attention to their emotions, adjust their emotions, and strive to accept that the child is separated from breast milk and accept the fact that the child has grown up.

In the long run, there will be many such situations, and weaning is only the first time?