Keep your elementary school math jokes short!

Q&A

Teacher: "I will ask the students two questions. As long as whoever answers the first question, he will not be required to answer the second question.

Now let me ask the first question: Who knows how many hairs you have?”

Xiao Li: “I know, I have 99999 hairs”

Teacher. : "How did you know?"

Xiaoli: "Teacher, this is the second question. You can't ask me to answer it."

How many times

The teacher asked in class: "How many wars occurred in Spain in the fifteenth century?"

"Six times." A student answered quickly.

"Which six times?" the teacher asked again.

"The first time, the second time, the third time, the fourth time, the fifth time and the sixth time."

Professor

In one On the playground of the university, professors of political science, philosophy and linguistics gathered around a flagpole.

The mathematics professor came over and asked: "What are you gentlemen busy with?"

"We need the height of the flagpole and are discussing how to get it." The political science professor said .

"Look at me!" the mathematics professor said, bent down and hugged the flagpole tightly and pulled it out hard. After pulling out the flagpole, he put it down on the ground

and took out a tape measure to measure it. After measuring, "exactly five meters and five meters", he put the flagpole back in place and left.

“This man!” the linguistics professor looked at his leaving back and said contemptuously, “What we wanted was height, but he gave us

length, making trouble! "

Numbers

"Numbers do not lie," the teacher said: "If it takes one person twelve days to build a house,

Twelve people only need one day. Two hundred and eighty-eight people only need one hour." One student continued: "Seventeen thousand two hundred and eighty people only need one minute. One hundred and thirty-six thousand eight hundred people only takes one second. Moreover, if it takes six days for one ship to cross the Atlantic, one day will be enough for six ships. Four cups of water at 25 degrees Celsius add up to boiling water!”

Five hundred ducks

A male teacher made a noise against two people! The restless female student said: "The voices of two women are like the quacks of a thousand ducks." After a while, the teacher's wife came to visit him. One of the female students came to report. "Teacher, there are five hundred ducks outside the door to see you."

Eleven thirty

In the fourth class in the morning, Student A was hungry and uninterested in listening to the class, so he sat in his seat I was thinking blankly about beef and bread.

The math teacher noticed that he was distracted and asked him: "What will happen if the decimal point of 1.130 is moved one place to the right?"

Student A answered without hesitation: "It will be Let’s have lunch!”

Wu Zetian is a great mathematician

History teacher: “Do you know who Wu Zetian is?” Student: “Wu Zetian is a mathematician. The mathematician who invented rounding is the mathematician who invented rounding

The best answer

Mathematics teacher: "The stairs of a building are divided into five sections, each section has 20 How many steps do you have to climb in one step to get to the top floor? One student: “Of course all the steps! ”

The secret of success

A young man who likes to talk nonsense and not like to study has been pestering the great scientist Einstein all day long, asking him to disclose the secret of success.

Einstein got bored, so he wrote him a formula

A=x+y+z. Einstein explained: "A represents success, x represents hard work, and y represents positivity

The correct method..."

"What does z stand for? "The young man asked impatiently.

"Representative, please stop talking nonsense. " said Einstein.

This is easy to do

The math teacher asked little Tommy: "How to distribute 5 pieces of potatoes to 6 people?"

"This is easy to do, do it Make it into mashed potatoes and divide it again!"

130 points

Sister: "What score did you get for this essay?"Brother: "130 points"Sister: "What?" /p>

The score is only 100 points, how can you get 130 points?" Brother: "Don't you believe it? If you don't believe it, I will read it to you:

Today, the sky is very blue and the mountains are very green. Green, the green books are very green, the safflowers are very red, the streets are very wide,

the pedestrians are very dense, there are many vehicles, the horns are very loud, the scenery is very beautiful, the air is very fresh, and the singing is very

It’s very bright to eat and very sweet to sleep in. Don’t these thirteen points add up to 130 points?

Don’t borrow them randomly.

The math teacher asked the student Zhao Neng: "What is 5 minus 9?"

Zhao Neng said: "How can 5 be subtracted from 9?"

The teacher said: "Ones place If you don't have enough, you should borrow 1 to get 10. "

Zhao Neng said: "I dare not borrow. My mother just said yesterday: borrowing is a bad thing."

Chinese or Mathematics

In the Chinese composition class, the teacher assigned a 500-word composition.

The bell rang after class, and a student found that he had only written 250 words. He had an idea and wrote "the above content × 2" in the last line of the article.

A few days later, the composition text I sent it out, and "80÷2" suddenly appeared in the place of the score