Hanging clothes in the shop, humorous jokes.

Shortly after getting married, I had dinner with my dad one day and received a phone call.

Display a strange number, and then listen to the other party say, "I'm your father." "

At that time, Laozi was impatient: "Fuck you, I am your father, and my father is eating opposite me." "

Just hung up the phone, and then I heard my dad say, "Could it be your father-in-law?" . "

I'm blue in the face!

Shopping with my father, my father took a fancy to a dress and said quietly to me:

"Try it on and buy one for my wife if it looks good." I'm really not a mistress. Miss shopping guide, please don't look at me like that

Dad, why don't you say "buy one for your mother" next time?

I walked into a shop and the waiter asked me, "What can I do for you?" I said, "I want to buy a Samsung NOTE." The waiter said, "Excuse me, this is a clothing store. We don't sell mobile phones. " I said, "I know, I just want to buy a pair of pants that can put this mobile phone in my pocket before I buy it."

"I really like you. May I kiss you?"

"Shame on you ..."

"Then I'll kiss ..."

At the end of Hawking's academic report, a female reporter jumped on the platform and asked, "Mr. Hawking, your illness has kept you in a wheelchair forever." What do you think of your illness? " Hawking replied with a standard cockney smile through the synthesizer: "My fingers can still move, and my brain can still think. I can still work and study like a normal person. I don't think I'm sick. " The audience shouted in unison: "Take two steps, take two steps without illness."

Woman: "can't you mention going home early?"

Man: "OK, definitely."

So the next time that man comes home with fried dough sticks and soy milk, ...

The teacher wrote a math problem on the blackboard, and intended some students to solve it.

At this time, my deskmate is hibernating. I glanced at him and woke him up with my arm. I said solemnly, "Get up! The teacher told you to clean the blackboard! "

The lovely deskmate understood and strode to the blackboard.

The math teacher nodded at the same table with satisfaction, smiled at the same table, and then picked up the blackboard and wiped it without looking back. . . . . .

Japanese policewoman was promoted to deputy political commissar after nursing the baby who lost her mother. Several young policewomen petitioned. They said: the bureau leaders have been sucking our milk for several years, and they have never given any officials. Please give an explanation from the organization department!

The organization minister said: 1. Although milk is the same, other people's milk has milk. Do you? The person who nursed the baby saw it and went on TV. Who saw you when you fed the leader? Is there any evidence? 3, feeding adults is entertainment, feeding children is life-saving, the effect is different, can the treatment be the same? The petitioner was suddenly speechless.

Young people in Huo Yier summon up courage to confess to the goddess on the playground. Seeing the goddess' innocent eyes, their courage vanished in an instant, and they faltered and said, "Well … that … I … I … I want to tell you … study hard." The goddess smiled: "Didn't you say you want to sleep every day?" ... every day, every day I want to sleep! . .

Someone interacted on the Internet: What is the most regrettable thing you have done in your life?

A MM is probably throwing caution to the wind. A: When I was five years old, I used a paper towel to wipe the cucumber at my sister's bedside in my brother's room. After wiping the cucumber, I went out to buy something, and I didn't have time to eat. I put the cucumber in my sister's room again.