At her brother's house, she couldn't say "I haven't eaten yet"

Everyone has different likes and dislikes in life. As the saying goes, carrots and vegetables have their own tastes. Some people like red, and some people are particularly disgusted with red; Puppies are cute, but some people are afraid when they see black dogs, and then they are afraid of the dark, even afraid of the dark, and dare not turn off the lights to sleep at night.

Sometimes when you meet someone by chance, you will feel very kind and feel at home. When Jia Baoyu first met Lin Daiyu, he said, I have seen this sister. Faye Wong sang in a song "Legend": Just because I took one more look at you in the crowd, I will never forget your face.

And some people, who have nothing to do with each other, are extremely bored and don't want to get close.

Find a date, a blind date, and find feelings. The so-called feeling is the demand of both sides. No matter what doesn't seem to match in the eyes of outsiders, you can continue to talk if you feel it, and you don't want to meet again if you don't feel it.

How did this feeling come from? Or why do we have different feelings and different ways to deal with the same thing?

Before the Spring Festival, Sister Yu and her mother drove back to their hometown. All my family have gone to town, and now only my brother stays at home. My brother is busy farming, raising pigs and chickens in his hometown, but he enjoys it.

I was delayed by other things in the morning and left a little late. When they entered the room, it was past 12 and they missed the meal. My brother cut her a piece of newly killed pork. Sister Yu came back mainly to get meat and bring her mother back to have a look. Sister Yu paid the price, thinking that the Spring Festival was coming, and gave her brother 200 yuan more. My brother is working hard in his hometown, and his life is not affluent. My brother and sister often help him a little. My brother didn't refuse much and accepted the money.

Mother went to see the pigs in the pigsty.

At this time, a fellow villager and a friend of my brother came to pick up the pork. My brother greeted him warmly at once and asked him if he had eaten. He said he hadn't eaten yet. My brother quickly added a pot, distilled two steamed buns and a sausage, and prepared to entertain friends for dinner.

At first, my brother didn't mention eating either. Sister Yu explained it to him in her mind, but her brother didn't think of it. At this point, the matter of eating has been mentioned, and she thought that her brother would definitely ask, so she cooked their meal by the way. But my brother said nothing. Seeing this scene, her heart ached, and then she felt an unspeakable discomfort. But she didn't say anything, just chatted with them for a while and then called her mother away.

She and her mother went out of the village, walked a long way, ate in a small restaurant, took a photo and sent it to her brothers and sisters, noting two words: lunch. It was half past three in the afternoon, and no one answered.

In the evening, my brother called her and asked her why she had lunch so late. She told the story again, and when it comes to her brother entertaining friends for dinner, she didn't even ask, and she felt that bitterness in her heart.

The younger brother said casually, elder sister, I'm not an outsider. Why don't you just tell him that he didn't eat? You are joking with my brother. Why don't you ask his mother if she has eaten? How can a frank person like you be so careful this time?

Yu Jie felt very strange after listening to her brother's words. She has always been warm and cheerful and good at communicating with people. Why is she so concerned about this matter?

Having learned some psychological knowledge, she wants to explore the reasons.

In the evening, she went to her mother's house. She didn't want to tell her mother her real intention, so as not to worry her mother, so she asked her in circles, Mom, tell me something about my childhood again. What are some jokes about eating?

Mother began to recall little by little and told the story of several children who were short of clothes and food. Then, my mother said that her family lives in a hospital with her aunt, and my uncle works as a worker in the city, and there are often rare foods at home. My brother is greedy and thick-skinned. When he saw the girl wrapping jiaozi, he stood in the yard and shouted, Auntie, I won't go to your house to eat jiaozi. I know my aunt will bring me a bowl when cooking! Aunt had to send some with a bowl.

Sister Yujie once fried shredded carrots when she was three or four years old. At that time, having a meal was a good meal. Who among ordinary people can afford to eat? It happened that Sister Yu was playing in the yard. Aunt put shredded carrots with chopsticks and told Sister Yu to feed her. Sister Yu opens her mouth and answers. Unexpectedly, when the food reached her mouth, the aunt suddenly pulled away, put the food in her mouth and smiled proudly.

Sister Yu turned and ran away. Mother said that since then, you have never eaten anything from your aunt's house.

On another occasion, my mother took her brother and Yujie out to play. There was no one else at home, so my aunt took the opportunity to cut watermelons and eat them. Unexpectedly, my mother forgot to take something and will come back soon. Seeing their mother came back, my aunt quickly hid the watermelon in the house. Two sisters helped her, picked up the cut watermelon and ran into the house. Mom saw it and pretended not to see it.

Afterwards, mother said: Your brother caught a cold and his throat was dry and sore. Your aunt knows that I would be grateful even if I had a small piece of watermelon to moisten your brother's throat.

Since then, mothers often educate their children: live with ambition and backbone, and eat without looking at others' faces!

Moreover, what my mother is proud of so far is that I have the most ambition and memory! Don't take a bite of food given by others!

When Sister Yu told me this, tears came out of her eyes. She knows how her heart knot came from.

Because of the experience at that time, a child can't tell his inner feelings. She is a child with strong self-esteem and didn't cry because she couldn't eat. But the image formed in that scene was stored by memory, and the emotions that were not vented at that time were suppressed in the subconscious. In addition, the mother repeatedly told to strengthen and internalize the cognition of Yujie, which affected Yujie's behavior habits.

She is particularly resistant to eating other people's food.

Go out to eat together, no matter how close friends, she insists on paying the bill.

She stopped by other people's houses, and as long as she didn't make an appointment in advance, she would never stay for dinner, whether she arrived or not.

This is an instinctive defense to prevent yourself from getting hurt again.

And the damage caused by the incident has not stopped. No matter at home or outside, it is difficult to swallow as long as you see others look a little ugly when eating. When you are angry at ordinary times, the most direct reaction is that you can't eat.

This time, even she didn't think that on the issue of eating, she and her own brother actually agreed with each other in this way. She said it was a trivial matter, not worth mentioning, but in fact she had a great emotional reaction inside.

When I went to my brother's house this time, he probably thought they had eaten, or he really ignored the problem of their eating. With her personality and brother-sister relationship with her brother, she can say it face to face, and my brother will correct it immediately. But she felt uncomfortable and couldn't say it. This is similar to my psychological feeling when I was teasing menstruation. I was wronged and angry, but I couldn't say a word. What can three or four-year-old children say? Especially in the face of close people, people who want emotional feedback.

Sister Yu noticed the cause of the problem, which was equivalent to solving half the problem.

Things seem accidental, but in fact they are inevitable. Like a thorn in the flesh, it has been aching, but it can't be found or pulled out. There happened to be a magnet hooked to it, and now this thorn has come out, which can be easily pulled out. This is an opportunity to solve the problem.

Back to the topic at the beginning of the article, different preferences are related to everyone's experience, and different experiences bring us different emotional experiences. Some of people's growth experiences can't be stored in words and characters, especially in early childhood, they don't have the ability to describe in words. However, the scene at that time will be stored in the brain in the form of pictures. After a long time, the things at that time have been forgotten, but the emotional feelings are still fresh in our memory, gradually transforming into the subconscious level, internalizing into personality, and unconsciously affecting our behavior.

Why do some people prefer certain colors? Perhaps in his early memory, this color once gave him a pleasant feeling. Some people are particularly afraid of the dark. Maybe he was bitten by a black dog when he was very young.

The same is true of people's looks, voices and body movements.

To solve this problem, we need to find the picture at that time, go back to the scene at that time, go back to that time, embrace our inner children, keep our current consciousness and see what happened. The problems that the little girl couldn't solve in those days can now be solved by her 50-year-old sister, so that she can untie her heart, help herself and grow herself.

As for whether to solve it further, how to solve it depends on the choice of the royal sister.