Jokes about programmers

1. New Year's Couplet. First line: Live for the system, die for the framework, fight for debug all your life. Second line: Suffer from symbols, be fooled by uppercase and lowercase letters, and finally die from demand! Horizontal batch: bad programmers.

2. Why can’t programmers distinguish between Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

3. Male: I am a programmer.

Female: Oh, hello, Mr. Cheng.

Male: You’re welcome, just call me Xuyuan~

4. What am I to you? You are my programmer. Oh, it turns out that I am a monkey. I am Jiang Zi. Now you can play coding! ! !

5. How to become rich using object-oriented methods? inherit.

6. A man smoked cigarettes one after another on the roadside. A woman came over and said to him: "Hey, don't you know you are committing suicide slowly? Pay attention to the warning message on the cigarette box." "It doesn't matter." The man took another puff leisurely: "I am a programmer. "Huh? What does this have to do with you being a programmer?" "We don't care about warnings at all, we only care about errors."

7. Question: Programmers hate it the most. Which son of Kangxi? Answer: Yinhu. Because he is the eighth prince (bug).

8. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Don't want any, this is a hardware problem

9. The dangerous building is a hundred feet high, and you can write code with your hands; look up at the bright moon, and write code with your head down; Wang Shibei sets the Central Plains Day, and he never forgets to write code during family sacrifices;

10. The lone sail is far away in the blue sky, and only the code can be seen flowing in front of my eyes

11. The sound card is miserable, the computer is late, and the check has just begun. There is no clue about the project requirements, which is annoying, and the email is sent out. Holding hands and looking at the code, I was speechless and choked. Thinking about thousands of lines of code, my computer is broken before my eyes. Passionate since ancient times, it’s even more shameful to miss out on Valentine’s Day. How can I wake up tonight? Next to the computer, the morning breeze is waning and the moon is waning. After so many years, love has become in vain. Even if you are helpless, who can you tell?

12. You only see me busy, but you don’t see my enthusiasm for progress. You have your nine-to-five, and I have my all-nighter. I pity you for not being able to understand it. The sense of accomplishment that results from execution. Code is a journey destined to be painful...

13. One sentence proves that you have loved! "I don't want you to write code alone..." If you don't accept it, come to argue

14. I am a brick-moving maniac and have strong brick-moving skills. . One day, on a whim, I collapsed next to the bricks. . .

15. Coding without regrets is to support the family. Years are wasted, and youth is always misled by bugs. Looking across the hanging silk road, there is a goddess who cannot protect her. Silently recalling the endless wanderings of the youth, and caring about the world. The fleeting years are secretly rushing, and the pride in my chest is unbearable. When the glory comes again, I can't bear to take care of it. I am young and charming.

16. One MD5 function pointed at another MD5 function in surprise and said: "Why is your hash result different from mine?" The MD5 function said proudly, "I feed myself a bag of salt." ”

17. Yesterday, a boy gave his favorite girl Cheng Xuyuan a program with 160,000 lines of code. This program includes embedded, JAVA, C and other languages. The content is mainly about recalling the lessons the two people did together and expressing their feelings through scenes. He made it into a Repo and committed it to Github, naming it "I don't want you to write code alone". The girl was very moved and then rejected him

18. There are many bugs, today is better than yesterday, and the callback is as long as a swing rope. Overflowing the stack, throwing an exception, coding until the early hours of the morning, swallowing tears and making up for joy, it's difficult and difficult!

19. If you are young and join the IT industry, it doesn’t matter if you grow old without a partner. The beautiful woman who rubs shoulders doesn't bother to look at her, and her friend with three thousand codes is by her side.

20. The words are desolate in the middle of the night, and the tears flow a thousand times. The work deadline is tight every day, and I am also busy with reconstruction. For a long time, there is no conclusion, life hangs on the demand side, looking around for the future, stumbling every step.

21. My gray hair is three thousand feet tall, I shed a few tears while coding, I don’t realize how tired I am from working overtime, I’m just crazy about bugs.

22. Fortunately, I got into a certain well. I put IT on both sides. I knocked on the code when I was free, but the lingering sound still lingered. Coders are under great pressure, I hope you will be healthier!

23. I have been crazy about programming when I was young, and I am not afraid to go into the IT field. Even if glory is not close, it doesn't matter if I code myself!

24. Working on projects every night, knocking out three or four points. Depressed and clueless, I choked with sobs and waited for dawn. Give it a try and all the programs will report errors. The girl is taken care of by others, and the bugs are checked by yourself. Method attribute class, none of them. The left and right are not humans, they are programmers.

25. Countless vacations are uncertain. The bug calls out thousands of lines in the middle of the night. Half of the cigarettes are as hungry and thirsty as crazy. Raise your head and count the stars in front of the window, how melancholy your life has been; think about it, why has the sun come out, why does your hope not clear up for so long!

26. I was too frivolous when I was young and entered the IT industry by mistake. His white hair stands tall and his eyes are straight and blank. There are dozens of languages, but no one is good at them. When he turned thirty, he was single and without a house.

27. Young and inexperienced, busy programming. The fingers and keys clicked loudly, and there was no time to think carefully. There are hundreds of bugs and not a single line of comment. Don't say it is quick and easy, but doing it will break people's hearts.

28. On this side of the mountain and on the other side of the sea, there is a group of hard-working programmers

They are honest and shy, they are smart and have no money, and they sit there all day long. Stay up late writing software and take a bite of instant noodles when you feel hungry~~Oh hard programmers, oh hard programmers. As long as the requirements change, they have to do it all over again, but there are only two days left.

29. Ten There is a vast world between life and death, writing programs until dawn. Thousands of lines of code, where are the bugs? Even if it goes online, so what, if the order is changed in the morning, my heart will be broken in the evening. Leaders have new ideas every day, change them every day, and are busy every day. They looked at each other without words, only a thousand lines of tears. Every night in dimly lit places, programmers work overtime and are workaholics~

30. In the office building, there are programmers in the office room; programmers write programs and exchange programs for drink money. When you are sober, you only sit online, and when you are drunk, you come to sleep online; when you are drunk, you wake up day after day, online and offline year after year. I wish I would die in a computer room, and I don’t want to bow before my boss; Mercedes-Benz and BMW are noble people’s interests, and I am a self-programmer on public transportation. Others laugh at me for being crazy, but I laugh at my own low life; there are not many pretty girls on the street, but who is a programmer?

31. Contemporary programmers are actually ancient wizards. They communicate with the natural laws of a certain world through some symbols and grammar that ordinary people do not understand, and then achieve the miracles that human beings need

32. The programmer asked the Zen master: "I have been with my friend for 7 years. My girlfriend broke up, so many programmers have no chance of love?"

The Zen master smiled and said nothing, and took the programmer to the stadium where the game was being played.

The programmer realized: "Does the master mean that the meaning of love is like a game, as long as the process is worked hard, the result is not important?"

The master closed his mouth Eyes said: "Is it none of my football business if you break up?"

33. When the end of the world is about to come in 5 minutes

Programmer: Let us do this at the last moment Do something!

Girlfriend: Well, let’s do it for the last time!

Programmer: What should we do with the remaining 4 minutes and 50 seconds?

34. A programmer rode a very beautiful bicycle to the company. Another programmer saw him and asked, "Where did you get such a beautiful bicycle?"

The programmer on the bicycle said, "I just came over there, and a beautiful girl came over on this bicycle, stopped in front of me, took off all her clothes, and then said to me, 'Do you want Anything goes'".

Another programmer immediately said, "You definitely made a right choice, because you may not be able to wear that girl's clothes."

35. I don’t know why. As soon as I said I was working in PHP, they turned off the light.

36. It was the end of the year and the project was in a hurry. That afternoon I started debugging the code on the roadside. There was a beggar next to me and I looked very pitiful so I gave him a dollar. He was watching from the side all the time. Me, I didn’t pay attention. After a long time, he pointed at a line of my code and said, there was an extra comma...

37. Programmers don’t have to look for a partner, what type do they want? , just new...

38. Programmer’s reading history: x Introduction to language—gt; x Language application practice—gt; x Advanced language programming—gt; x The science and art of language —gt; The Beauty of Programming—gt; The Way of Programming—gt; The Zen of Programming—gt; Guide to Rehabilitation of Cervical Spondylosis.