I want to change the world

Name is male,

gender is female.

My father’s family sighed for a long time because of my arrival, so my grandma gave me a boy’s name, hoping that I would not lose to boys and have ambitions in all directions.

Name and destiny.

Influenced by my name, my personality is somewhat like a man's, careless and careless, yet daring enough to never lag behind.

When I was young, I set my ambition to change the world because of me;

When I grow up, I compromise reality and want my world to change because of me;

Because if You can't change the whole world, but you can always change your own world.

Looking back on the past thirty years, there have been two important transformations in my life. They are memories that make me proud and also a warning to me - it is time to change again.

The First Transformation

When I was graduating from high school and going to college, a sentence from my classmate made me burst into tears at that time, but it also inspired me to pursue my career without hesitation and vigorously. self-transformation.

I have been a "student" since I was a child. I work hard and have leading academic performance. However, I am introverted and not good at speaking in public. I am so nervous that I stutter when answering questions in class. I have almost no sense of presence in the class. (It will only exist when results are announced).

I am very envious of those good friends around me who are expressive, outgoing and lively. I follow them silently and play, and I am an unknown "wallflower".

Suddenly one day, for some reason I don’t remember, a male classmate in the class satirized me in a very contemptuous tone: "You can do nothing but study!"

This sentence is consistent. The sharp sword stabbed my painful spot accurately, shattering the little pride I had. Complex emotions such as anger, inferiority, and dissatisfaction surged into my heart. I roared back in my heart, but I, who was not good at words, could only roll my eyes. Red and angrily left.

On the way home, I accidentally learned that my good friend often complained about me in front of others.

When I was young, I valued friendship more than anything else. When I found out, my already overwhelmed heart immediately broke. I felt abandoned by the whole world, and I couldn’t even find a friend to confront me. I always said But others.

Under the double blow, I thought about it more and more. When I got home, tears finally came out of my eyes along with my uncontrollable emotions.

While crying, I vowed silently: I must change! I want to surprise you all, and I will leave you far behind in the future!

Thus, the painful and joyful self-transformation project began:

In the early morning of the holiday after the college entrance examination, I was reading loudly by the river as if there was no one around. When someone came, the voice got louder, exercising my courage and expression. ;

After I went to college, when I saw an opportunity to speak or go on stage, my heart jumped but I still forced myself to raise my hand to show off;

As soon as I saw the word "competition" , so I dragged my roommates to sign up to participate, forcing myself to get used to various stages and "embarrassing";

Pretending to be brave,

Pretending to be outgoing,

I got used to it by pretending;

I even began to enjoy the feeling of being baptized by the audience's gaze in the center of the stage, as if I was a shining star.

During my college years, I had the joyful experience of competing in various competitions, large and small.

It reshaped me into a more confident person.

It also became the most important thing in my memory. One of the warm and exciting "happy vaults".

The second transformation

I still remember when I first entered the workplace, as a ambitious and high-spirited but careless and inexperienced "workplace novice",

A lot of jokes were made and a lot of people were offended.

The first leader said: "You are still suitable to go back to school to be a teacher." - The implication is that you are not suitable to work in an enterprise.

The second leader said: "Your emotional intelligence is too low." - The criticism was straightforward and had a great impact on me.

On the surface, I listened to the teachings with an open mind, but on the inside I was filled with dissatisfaction: I can definitely learn it, and I can definitely do it well!

Adhering to the principle of "talk less, do more",

silently observed how the "hot people" in the workplace interact with others,

Reflect on whether your words and deeds today are appropriate every day.

If you don’t know how to deal with it, you’d rather smile and remain silent than make a mistake.

The above are "non-professional" abilities. At the same time, I also work hard to hone my "professional skills":

Others play around after get off work, but I chew after get off work. Professional book;

Others copied what their predecessors did, and I tried to optimize the process;

Others dealt with the competition casually, but I rehearsed carefully N times;

Finally, in I won the championship in a company competition and gained favor from the leadership, and more opportunities began to greet me.

Although I am still only a little sophisticated now,

But with my professional ability, I can be myself in the workplace and speak professionally without deliberately trying to flatter others, which is good. .

The third transformation

Why do you suddenly have the idea of ??a third transformation?

Some people may say that your current job salary is also good, your career is still on the rise, and you are married and have children, so don’t bother.

However,

When I faced the mirror one morning and looked at my swollen eyelids, thick black circles, shallow fine lines, and dull eyes. , a panic surged into my heart: When did I become like this? Is this your ideal self?

During the day, I was kidnapped and consumed by the burden of work, and at night I went home to take care of my children. Whenever I had free time, I read novels until midnight;

A vicious cycle, the body gradually deteriorated, and the soul gradually lost Enthusiasm;

It’s as if you can see that your life is like a top, spinning in a fixed small circle, spinning slower and slower, spinning slower and slower... I don’t know when I will fall.

I'm afraid of this future, so I want to change.

One day at noon, when I was chatting with a sister in her forties, she told me with a bright face that she was struggling again. On the basis of making good clothes, she went to learn new beauty techniques. , when I started my own business again, a voice in my heart told me:

My sister is older than me, but she is braver than me and dares to pursue and try new things. She can do it, why can't I? What's holding me back?

Because - my current job makes me feel a lot of pressure, but also makes me enjoy a lot of comfort.

A lot of pressure comes from the company’s rapid development, heavy work, endless overtime and a seemingly limited future;

A lot of comfort comes from my many years of experience in the company, The connections, influence, and familiar environment make me comfortable and don’t want to change.

Living in this contradiction, I dare not step out and don’t know where to go.

I am afraid that I will hate this situation now, so I want to change.

One night when I was scrolling through my circle of friends, I found that a colleague who was busier than me was using his spare time to learn photography techniques and announce the opening of his photography studio. One sentence came to mind. :

When you don’t want to fight, everything is an obstacle;

When you go all out, the whole world makes way for you.

Looking back carefully, this is not sudden. He began to use his spare time to learn photography techniques last year.

Slowly, he began to share his photography works;

Slowly, he began to insist on sharing breakfast pictures every day;

Slowly, he began to promote and push his photography public account;

When looking at the footsteps of his step-by-step growth in the circle of friends At this time, you will feel that all this is the reward that God deserves for those who are determined.

For example, in order to take beautiful pictures of breakfast every day, he insists on getting up at 5:30 every day, taking pictures of breakfast, then going to work, and working overtime until nine o'clock in the evening when he goes home and continues to study.

When I compare my past, I feel deeply guilty.

All kinds of things, quantitative changes lead to qualitative changes, and the idea of ????making changes becomes stronger and stronger;

But the core point is that the current self is not the ideal self, so To change.

Why should we set limits for ourselves because of our family?

Why should we set limits for ourselves because of work?

Why should we set limits for ourselves because of our age?

Besides, thirty years old should be a more intelligent exploration than twenty years old.

If I don’t start to change at the age of thirty, I will still be as sad as I am now at the age of forty;

If I start to change at the age of thirty, at least I will be as sad as I am at the age of forty. This struggle is different.

I am not sure where the future direction is, but now I must take this step bravely and firmly,

Start by changing a small habit,

Start by learning a new skill,

Start by trying a new field;

Writing is the beginning that helps me realize the third major transformation in my life,

Please witness and record with me,

This "transformation" comes neither sooner nor later.

I have changed,

The world will naturally change.