Humorous Jokes To be a man, you must learn humor.

Humorous Jokes To be a man, you must learn humor.

1. An old farmer was driving an ox cart into town and was stopped by the police on Fengshou Road on the grounds that he didn't have a license plate. The farmer angrily found a broken board, wrote a license plate and hung it. The police fainted on the spot and saw the license plate saying: Niu B-74 1 10.

I'm not from here.

Er Dan is an alcoholic. Once, he traveled to a strange city and came out of the hotel at night, drunk and staggered. Just as he was standing in the middle of the road and waiting for the direction, another drunkard came across, apparently drinking more than two eggs. He seemed to see something strange in the sky, so he asked Pei Erdan: Old wet! Is it the moon or the sun? Erdan raised his head, then shook his head and said, I'm sorry! I don't have a desk, and I'm not from here. ?

One is Yi and the other is Wang. They are a group of invincible boys from China who have been madly sought after by countless female fans since their debut. Their childish smiles, flexible pace and youthful temperament let everyone know that China's boy idols are the best. More importantly, their left and right hands can move in slow motion. Yes, they are Yi Jianlian, Wang He and Wang He of China Men's Basketball Team!

Don't complain that there are many meetings in the office. I used to think that meetings were the most time-wasting thing. But recently, I finally realized that you can always learn from any meeting as long as you put your heart into it. For example, I learned to knit scarves these two weeks.

After a hard day, I called my father. It's been a long time. This time we talked for a long time and said a lot of touching things. Dad is old, but in fact he is not confused. Although he will be in tears now because he misses me, he hung up the phone in time when I asked for money.

6. When my best friend was lovelorn, she cried to me and said that her man was scum, so I called her man to help her vent. As a result, they made up the next day. Just now, I saw my best friend send a state: people are malicious, so you should cherish something that some people say is not good. Hehe, I silently found out the chat WeChat that his boyfriend sent me a week ago and chatted with him.

7. The mother said to her son, "When I first married your father, everyone said it was a flower inserted in cow dung. 」

The son said, "Then why did you get married?" My mother said, "alas! Cow dung is hard to find! 」。

8. beggars

There stood a beggar wearing sunglasses by the roadside:

"Old lady, please, I can't see anything with my eyes."

"If you can't see, how do you know I'm an old lady?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just changing classes for my blind friend."

"Where's your friend?" The old lady asked curiously.

"He went to the movies."

9. Every time I listen to those aunts bragging to my mother about their children's good grades, being admitted to famous universities and getting scholarships, I feel very sad. Because the only thing my mother can show off to others is my beauty.

10. In English class, the teacher asked the students to talk in English, and the students were very obedient and talked as required. The class was almost over, and a classmate felt so stupid that he couldn't help laughing. At this moment, another classmate stood up and said to the teacher. Teacher, he is laughing in Chinese! ?

1 1. Got on the wrong bus again.

A man was drunk, got on the wrong bus twice and got on the right bus the third time. I met a priest in the car. The priest saw that the man was drunk and crossed his chest disapprovingly and said, wasting wine and color, my child, is the road to hell! What, am I on the wrong bus again?

12. familiar

Two drunks are walking on the road. One of them saw a mirror on the side of the road, so he picked it up and said to the mirror. What's going on here? This man looks familiar! ! ? His companion came over and said, let me see! ? Idiot, how can you not know me?

13. A drunk got up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet and came back to wake his wife: Hey, wake up, our house is haunted! ? My wife knew that he was drunk last night and said, don't be crazy again, okay? . The drunk said, Really! You see, the light turns on automatically as soon as I open the door, and goes out automatically as soon as I close the door. This is not a ghost! ? Hearing this, his wife pointed at his nose and cursed: You peed in the refrigerator again! ?

14. A newspaper publicly solicited: Nantong, North Tongzhou, North Tongzhou, North Tongzhou, Nantong? Bottom line. A teacher and a student said that there is a very good saying, that is: East Pawnshop, West Pawnshop, East Pawnshop? . At this time, a student challenged him below and the teacher told him to get up at once. As a result, the student's language is amazing: boys and girls, boys and girls have boys and girls. . . . -_-

15. There is a topic in this historical volume: Please write down the number of air force units and planes in China in any year. Another student's answer: 1800 air force number 0, plane number 0. I can't judge correctly-_-because the first plane in the world was born in 1903.

16, Xiao Li celebrated grandpa's birthday and said: I wish you a long life! ?

The old man is unhappy: Why give me an age?

17, my mother has recently become a mobile gamer. She likes to play parkour and shout while playing, as if she were going to fall to her death at any time.

After the game, she breathed a sigh of relief and turned to her grandfather who was reading the newspaper. Dad, let me teach you to play this. Very exciting! ?

Grandpa put down the newspaper, raised his head and solemnly said to his mother: I have a bad voice! ?

18、? Do you remember the first time we met and went to see a play?

Grandpa prevaricated for a long time and didn't answer.

I thought grandma was going to run on him and he was senile or something. I didn't expect grandma to get angry and say, of course you don't remember. You came to see me the other day. ?

. . . Unprepared for the show!

19, an old man told the people exercising in the community:? The great thing about Tai Ji Chuan is that it can use mild steel. ?

I carried a steel pipe, shook it, weighed it in my hand, and said, Uncle, say it again?

Without saying anything, the uncle's soft figure was wrapped around the pole and danced. . .

20. I went to the park for exercise in the morning and just did a group of leg lifts.

An old man with a white beard next to him said, young man, is the life of husband and wife not harmonious?

After listening to this, I knelt down and said, Master, can't you see marriage? ?

The old man smiled shyly. No, it's just that I just saw your pants door open. ?

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